ghosted by Daddy Dom, need suggestions and support

[Guest Lilly230]

I'm a 28-year-old Asian woman from a conservative background. Until recently, I never had the courage to explore my kinks. However, I met someone who seemed perfect—a kind, gentle, discreet, and fun individual who became my daddy dom. We shared many common kinks and fantasies, and we were open to exploring new ones together with mutual consent and support.

Everything started well, but after the initial few weeks, he stopped giving me the attention I needed. Since we were in a long-distance relationship, communication was crucial. We had a rule where I reported certain daily activities to him, but he often left my detailed texts and voice notes on 'seen' without responding. He explained that he's not much of a text person and blamed his busy schedule, but this pattern persisted, leaving me feeling like I was talking to a wall.

Despite my efforts to communicate and understand his perspective, his lack of responsiveness made me realize he was losing interest. Even when I made mistakes and tried to make up for them with thoughtful gestures, he ignored them. On Valentine's Day, despite being unwell, I went out of my way to do something special for him, but he didn't even inquire about my health. Instead, I saw him active on other platforms without responding to me.

The same day, I noticed he posted on a kink platform seeking a new sub, which shattered me. I confronted him, but he didn't respond. I continued to apologize in various ways, hoping to salvage our relationship, but he remained silent but kept looking at my social media posts.

Feeling emotionally drained and questioning my self-worth, I eventually messaged him to end things, but he didn't respond to that either.

This experience has left me feeling emotionally exhausted and questioning my worth. It's my first time going through something like this, and I'm reaching out for advice and support from this community. Thank you.

Edited February 22, 2024 by Lilly230

[DaddyUmbreon]

You did nothing wrong, @Lilly230 Do not base your self worth on the inexperience of another person. You did all you could. You are correct, communication is very important, especially in a long distance relationship of this nature. Feeling neglected and unappreciated can take a toll on anyone's self-esteem, especially when you've put so much effort and care into the relationship. The lack of response on his part was a red flag to me. No matter the busy schedule or the “text” excuse, if someone is committed, they will make the time. 
I don’t know about your relationship, how your dynamic was, or what routines and how quickly you established them. You are not alone in this. I’ve seen it way too many times. I even wrote a topic on here about it, a year ago. First, be kind to yourself. It's important to remember that his actions are a reflection of him, not you. You deserve to be with someone who values and respects you, who communicates openly and honestly, and who prioritizes your well-being. Don’t spiral and lower yourself on thoughts of not being worth it when it seems more like this guy just used you or could not be honest and communicative with you.
It’s great that you are exploring your kinks, the dynamic, and yourself, no matter the age. Learn from this and set healthy boundaries. Take your time. Establish a connection with a person, not just kink related but as an individual and pace yourself. Take this moment to reflect on it so that you can heal from it and move on to a better opportunity. I advise joining the “Knowledge is Power” club and reading articles there. Above all, remember that you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. This experience may have left you feeling shaken, but it doesn't define your worth or your future relationships. So take your time. Continue to learn and grow and experience life. 

[Guest Lilly230]

2 hours ago, DaddyUmbreon said:

You did nothing wrong, @Lilly230 Do not base your self worth on the inexperience of another person. You did all you could. You are correct, communication is very important, especially in a long distance relationship of this nature. Feeling neglected and unappreciated can take a toll on anyone's self-esteem, especially when you've put so much effort and care into the relationship. The lack of response on his part was a red flag to me. No matter the busy schedule or the “text” excuse, if someone is committed, they will make the time. 
I don’t know about your relationship, how your dynamic was, or what routines and how quickly you established them. You are not alone in this. I’ve seen it way too many times. I even wrote a topic on here about it, a year ago. First, be kind to yourself. It's important to remember that his actions are a reflection of him, not you. You deserve to be with someone who values and respects you, who communicates openly and honestly, and who prioritizes your well-being. Don’t spiral and lower yourself on thoughts of not being worth it when it seems more like this guy just used you or could not be honest and communicative with you.
It’s great that you are exploring your kinks, the dynamic, and yourself, no matter the age. Learn from this and set healthy boundaries. Take your time. Establish a connection with a person, not just kink related but as an individual and pace yourself. Take this moment to reflect on it so that you can heal from it and move on to a better opportunity. I advise joining the “Knowledge is Power” club and reading articles there. Above all, remember that you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. This experience may have left you feeling shaken, but it doesn't define your worth or your future relationships. So take your time. Continue to learn and grow and experience life. 

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. The wounds are fresh right now, it will take me time to process everything, and heal. I appreciate your suggestions, thank you so much  

[Littlest]

I am always so baffled by stories like yours here, firstly I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Poor communication is one thing, but being outright rude and dismissive is another. Not being a ‘text message’ person is no excuse to make someone else feel like trash. It seems like you’ve done the right thing, as hard as it is. You can keep your head up high knowing that you communicated something that was probably difficult for you to do, which is more than can be said for him. His lack of compassion or morals does not define your worth. You do that, and by ending things you have demonstrated that he is and was most definitely not worthy of you. 

Secondly I would take as much comfort as you can from the knowledge that this man, sounds like a giant bullet that you absolutely dodged. 

Good people do exist out there and don’t let it deter you from living your life and experiencing all the things it has to offer. Take some time for you, do things that make your heart feel happy. Going outside, spending time with friends, for me it’s visiting a pet shop 😂 whatever it is that brings you a feeling of being content. Write in a journal, start a list of reasons why you’re a good person, listen to music, visit a rage room 😂.

I wish you fast healing and take care of you☺️

[DDCool]

Two class replies, I would reinforce that a person's actions are a reflection on who they are and not on you, I know it's just words but believe it. To not even make the effort to move on properly shows they have a selfish and uncaring personality. Regroup, heal and move on to better things, take care xx

[Guest Lilly230]

2 hours ago, Littlest said:

I am always so baffled by stories like yours here, firstly I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Poor communication is one thing, but being outright rude and dismissive is another. Not being a ‘text message’ person is no excuse to make someone else feel like trash. It seems like you’ve done the right thing, as hard as it is. You can keep your head up high knowing that you communicated something that was probably difficult for you to do, which is more than can be said for him. His lack of compassion or morals does not define your worth. You do that, and by ending things you have demonstrated that he is and was most definitely not worthy of you. 

Secondly I would take as much comfort as you can from the knowledge that this man, sounds like a giant bullet that you absolutely dodged. 

Good people do exist out there and don’t let it deter you from living your life and experiencing all the things it has to offer. Take some time for you, do things that make your heart feel happy. Going outside, spending time with friends, for me it’s visiting a pet shop 😂 whatever it is that brings you a feeling of being content. Write in a journal, start a list of reasons why you’re a good person, listen to music, visit a rage room 😂.

I wish you fast healing and take care of you☺️

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this reply. This really made me feel so much more positive. Thank you ❣️

[Guest Lilly230]

55 minutes ago, DDCool said:

Two class replies, I would reinforce that a person's actions are a reflection on who they are and not on you, I know it's just words but believe it. To not even make the effort to move on properly shows they have a selfish and uncaring personality. Regroup, heal and move on to better things, take care xx

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and making me feel better.

[Cebakes]

You should  be thankful that it ended as quick as it did.  Can you imagine what he would be like after six months or a year?  I would use it as a learning experience.  To your credit you noticed red flags, next time you should express your concerns to  your partner when you notice the type of things you experienced or felt.  

[Guest Lilly230]

12 hours ago, Cebakes said:

You should  be thankful that it ended as quick as it did.  Can you imagine what he would be like after six months or a year?  I would use it as a learning experience.  To your credit you noticed red flags, next time you should express your concerns to  your partner when you notice the type of things you experienced or felt.  

[Pink Star Bubble Sky]

Hi Lilly💖 just wanna say I read your whole post and I'm really sorry that happened to you 😥🩷 sometimes things seem like the "right" thing but maybe they're just lessons we have to learn. 

Don't change who you are just continue to embrace it and the right people will connect with you 💜🍼🧸 

Don't give your whole heart away because not everyone is deserving, but the right person will make you wanna share all your love with no fear💓💓💓 you'll see!! 

If you ever need a fwend I'm here okay 🌟