Little / Sub Imposter Syndrome?

[FillYouWithMe]

So, I’ve only recently been fully realizing my submissive / middle side. I feel like there are definitely parts of me that want to be in a dynamic where I can submit, but it feels difficult to do so. It doesn’t feel like I fit into any real submissive category, although I do feel like Middle is one that best describes me.

 

But, with the more time that passes, it feels like I’m not really a submissive. It feels like I don’t belong, and I don’t know how to think about it. Maybe it’s because I’ve never truly experienced the dynamic in the role of a sub? I’ve been a Daddy for so long, maybe it’s just not possible for me to find sub/little space any more?

 

I’m just torn, because I know that being a switch is difficult for its own reasons too. Add in that I “switch” to a not very submissive sub role, and I feel like I’m just the BDSM equivalent of a hot mess. Is there any real advice for this, or will it just take time to find comfort in my submissive side?

[Little kaiya]

Not every little or middle is going to be submissive, that's very much a myth. You may be a middle or little and not be submissive m, it's totally a thing. I admit I'm not super submissive as a little. In sub space, absolutely but those are two different headspaces. 

Find what feels natural and works for you and try not to overthink it.

[xomlem]

Hey boo! Your preference may vary depending on the person you're with and that's fine! If you're struggling with labels, don't label yourself. It's not as important as it might seem. Do whatever you're comfortable with.

[beanbean]

Yes just find what works for you and go from there

[MissNMTX]

I'm going to say what I always say because I'm my experience it's true. Being a middle is hard! It's not as common or as understood, not as "cutesy" as many people like and definitely not as easy to define or explain.

Being a middle makes submission different as well since there's inherently a bit more "independence" in being a middle.

I'd also agree that the headspaces can be different... though for me there can be overlap as well. Can you say complicated? It can be messy for sure! I'm sure your coming from being a daddy is layered as well.

The thing I truly love about the dynamic is that it can be whatever works for you and your partner. So, my only advice like the others say, is to ignore the labels (I know everyone likes descriptors or a starting point, but they aren't always helpful.) just keep learning, growing, and talking to people. All any of us can do is keep trying to be as true to ourselves as possible.

 

Edited March 19, 2024 by MissNMTX