How to find the right Daddy?

[LittleRabbitBunny]

Hi, I'm Zahie, and I'm new here but I've read before about how to choose the right Little and be a good Little too, but how do you find the right Daddy? I know everyone has different needs and ways of being treated, but in general, how do we know when someone is a good Daddy or not? This still confuses me a bit

[beanbean]

6 minutes ago, GayKitten said:

Hi there, and welcome!

So right away, this jumps out to me — where are you reading up on this kink, and forming your expectations? If it happens to be from fiction written about ddlg, I’d urge caution and to remember that it’s only fiction. (Shameless plug, but the active members on here are real people who give realistic and practical advice, so I’d always steer folks to read more of what we have to say on here! 😁)

Many littles (and bigs too!) seem to arrive here with the misconception that there is a “right way” to be a “good” or “proper” little, or that there is a prescribed set of actions to be followed in the roles. And many of us will point out that this is fundamentally untrue — being a good little is about understanding your specific and individual wants and needs, and how to communicate those safely and healthily to a partner.

So, I’m not sure the framing of “finding a good daddy” is correct — I think it is more important to find a person you can communicate openly and safety with, kink stuff aside.

Identifying a “good” daddy means different things to different people. Some may want a daddy who does very specific sexytime things with them. Others may want completely non-sexual stuff, like daily routines. Others may simply want a partner they can call daddy and who is comfortable with them regressing around them. And yet others may want someone who is only around to roleplay with them online or via text. Lots of people come to this kink with different interests, desires, and expectations.

So it is very important first and foremost to understand what YOU want, and find a person you’re compatible with as a person. After that, it becomes a process of working together and negotiating how to meet each other’s needs. And how to respect each other’s boundaries and hard limits too!

Good luck! Remember that engaging in kink is about two (or more) PEOPLE engaging in it TOGETHER, and that human factor will always be most important! 

exactly you need to decide  what you want . Have many discussions with your would be daddy lay out everything you need or want .see what they need and what and go from there.thereid no manual I what you need from a relationship you have to figure that out

[LittleRabbitBunny]

26 minutes ago, GayKitten said:

Hi there, and welcome!

So right away, this jumps out to me — where are you reading up on this kink, and forming your expectations? If it happens to be from fiction written about ddlg, I’d urge caution and to remember that it’s only fiction. (Shameless plug, but the active members on here are real people who give realistic and practical advice, so I’d always steer folks to read more of what we have to say on here! 😁)

Many littles (and bigs too!) seem to arrive here with the misconception that there is a “right way” to be a “good” or “proper” little, or that there is a prescribed set of actions to be followed in the roles. And many of us will point out that this is fundamentally untrue — being a good little is about understanding your specific and individual wants and needs, and how to communicate those safely and healthily to a partner.

So, I’m not sure the framing of “finding a good daddy” is correct — I think it is more important to find a person you can communicate openly and safety with, kink stuff aside.

Identifying a “good” daddy means different things to different people. Some may want a daddy who does very specific sexytime things with them. Others may want completely non-sexual stuff, like daily routines. Others may simply want a partner they can call daddy and who is comfortable with them regressing around them. And yet others may want someone who is only around to roleplay with them online or via text. Lots of people come to this kink with different interests, desires, and expectations.

So it is very important first and foremost to understand what YOU want, and find a person you’re compatible with as a person. After that, it becomes a process of working together and negotiating how to meet each other’s needs. And how to respect each other’s boundaries and hard limits too!

Good luck! Remember that engaging in kink is about two (or more) PEOPLE engaging in it TOGETHER, and that human factor will always be most important! 

Thankie very much for your reply! And you're right, fiction is not reliable, lol. I'm still trying to figure out what suits me best and it's been a long process so right now I'm just looking for someone who can be my guide and not a Daddy per se. 

Thanks for the reminder, communication is the key to everything! 

[SweetLu]

@GayKitten nailed it. Lots and lots of questions and answers on both sides. I'm sure you've seen the red flag posts. Keep those in mind as you talk to potential guides or daddies. (One for me? If they don't answer a question or try to sidestep it.)  But you HAVE landed in as safe a spot as you can find online to ask, learn & have some fun as you figure out what's best for you. 😁 

[LittleRabbitBunny]

6 minutes ago, SweetLu said:

@GayKitten nailed it. Lots and lots of questions and answers on both sides. I'm sure you've seen the red flag posts. Keep those in mind as you talk to potential guides or daddies. (One for me? If they don't answer a question or try to sidestep it.)  But you HAVE landed in as safe a spot as you can find online to ask, learn & have some fun as you figure out what's best for you. 😁 

Thankie! You're all so kind and friendly 

[Barney048]

If he takes more interest in you than your privates, that's a good start.

If he guides you but doesen't push you into things you aren't comfortable with, that's a good sign. 

If he tries to isolate you from evryone in your life under the pretense that he just wants what's best for you, then that's NOT a good sign. 

If he listens to you when you want to have a "grown up talk" and treats you as an equal, that's a good sign. 

. 

. 

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Generally we all know when something is off with the person we are interested in. We just choose to look the other way or we justify these things in our head. 

Edited May 3, 2024 by Barney048

[Guest Enchanted_DreamFairy]

1 hour ago, Barney048 said:

If he takes more interest in you than your privates, that's a good start.

If he guides you but doesen't push you into things you aren't comfortable with, that's a good sign. 

If he tries to isolate you from evryone in your life under the pretense that he just wants what's best for you, then that's NOT a good sign. 

If he listens to you when you want to have a "grown up talk" and treats you as an equal, that's a good sign. 

. 

. 

. 

 

Generally we all know when something is off with the person we are interested in. We just choose to look the other way or we justify these things in our head. 

Those are all very good things that you listed.  

Also I like to add this. Don't jump into it right away, talk to potential Daddy's who contact you and take it slow. If they are very pushy and you feel uncomfortable, let them know that. Don't allow anyone to push you into something. A true Daddy will be very understanding and respect you as a person. 

[MoJo]

Chemistry. That is all that matters. 
The “right” Daddy for you is the one who you feel safe and sound around. It is a spectrum, your dynamic could be anything you want it to be. “Right” is relative, it is relative to how you feel right. 
 

Keep it easy and have no expectations, when your Daddy in shining armour shows up, you will know. Happy Saturday!