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Currently A Stay-At-Home Little, But Daddy Insists He Work Two Jobs?


SnowPea
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I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. Opinions on this matter are encouraged, but I mainly just need to get it off my chest. Sorry it's so long..

 

So I was working at a big, fancy animal hospital. I worked in a tiny one before, and I wanted more experience. I was so happy they hired me!

When I got there though, I realized that all my bosses had no patience for me. They expected me to either already know everything, or learn complicated things the first time. I had to answer to veterinarians who snapped instead of telling me to come here, called me "annoying", yelled at me a lot, and looked at me like I was a waste of space when I had questions.

The clients yelled at me a lot because the prices were expensive and I had to be the one to tell them how much it was. Also, this place euthanized happy dogs! And I had to help them! They would laugh and say "Don't get attached." while I cried for them and tried to give them last moments of love.

I was forced to work with a senior technician that hurt my feelings and told me "feelings are for children" and that I need to "grow up", and even belittled me by saying I was "in the wrong field" simply because my hands were too small to fit around a doggie's mouth.

I complained about it to the manager and was told "I agree with her. And you need to do things faster."

 

I got to the ritual of crying in their bathroom a few times a day to get through each day, calling in sick more than it was allowed, having panic attacks in Daddy's arms every morning, sweating, hyperventilating, nausea, and finally, dissociation and constant suicidal thoughts.

 

Daddy asked me if I wanted to quit. He said he would get a second job. I felt guilty. I wanted someone to -tell- me to quit, so I wouldn't feel like a burden. I didn't have the strength or courage to plunge back into another job at that moment, and I just wanted to hide and feel safe again.

 

One morning last month, I couldn't go to work. I told Daddy how I felt, I called and told them I wasn't coming in.

That night, I sent them this:

 

"Please consider this my letter of resignation, effective immediately.

I hope you'll accept my sincere apology for the lack of notice, as it is simply beyond my control at this time.

 

It is imperative that I consider my health first and foremost, and that I remove myself from an environment that translates to the rapid deterioration of my mental wellbeing.

 

I appreciate the opportunity offered to me, and I do apologize for any inconvenience."

 

 

Daddy was immediately given a second job by his friend, and he doesn't come home till late. I do all the chores and cook for him to feel like I'm earning my keep, but I feel horribly guilty.

I'm scared to get another job, but I'm scared for Daddy, too. He promised it doesn't bother him, and that he would tell me if it were otherwise, but I have trouble accepting this situation.

I feel like I should be smacking myself out of it and getting another job instead of letting myself hide from the world. I feel like getting another job (at least right now) would just put me in another place with mean people, and I'm too fragile a person to take it.

I am just a mental mess of a person. I feel weak and selfish for this.

 

I want to thank everyone for listening to my long rant, and I want to ask everyone what they would do in this situation?

 

Pretty please refrain from super harshness, as you probably already know how sensitive I am to it.

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Take care of you first let yourself just cook and clean and be a stay at home little for say three months then after those three months see how you feel

add or subtract when need be for example if by febuary you think your doing okay but start getting panic attacks looking for a job add another month to take a break and so on

 

Mental health first

perhaps finding a field that requires you to interact with people less

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I've worked in several veterinary offices and have been a technician for 7 years. No way would I let a hospital staff member treat me in such a way. You did the right thing leaving. Mental health first, always.

 

When you are ready, look for something else that makes you happy!

 

P.s. I still bawl and carry plenty of emotional issues around my job, anyone who doesn't needs to get out of the field. Not the people like you who care. And the job IS hard, physically and emotionally. It is not something you learn after doing everything once.

 

Also, trust in the communication with your partner. If he says he isn't stressed, don't press it. Just check in and see how he's doing. If I were in that situation I'd do a few nice things to make sure he feels appreciated (which it sounds like you are doing!)

 

 

<3

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The beautiful girl above me is very right, on her points, especially if you have no compassion, it is the wrong business for you. If your Daddy noises on two jobs, I bet he has his reasons. Take care of yourself, and make sure to keep an eye on him. There is plenty you can do at home to make his life a little easier, so feel free. Make sure to talk out all of your concerns.
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I didn't catch if your job previously was part time or not.

But give yourself some time to rest mentally.

If you're feeling good a couple days in a row, maybe start applying.

When you start back you could do very part time, just to get back into the hang of things.

 

You do need to worry about your mental health first.

 

Its also good to remind your daddy how grateful you are that he's working to jobs (not saying you don't now, I don't know). Thatll make him feel better about doing it, if he has any doubts about how hard it is.

Just keep up on the house stuff too.

 

My (IRL) dad works 2 jobs and I like to let him know I'm grateful that he's doing it so we can keep our house. try to cook dinner for us both as much as I can, lend any help to him that I am able to.

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There is nothing wrong with taking time out to take care of yourself. If this kind of suicidal thought process is something that happens because of a social anxiety disorder I do hope you see someone for that though.

 

I know that feeling though of feeling like you don't contribute and that your partner does too much. It happened to me after I had my daughter. I rushed back to work way too soon and then got very depressed because I missed everything; crawling, walking, talking, first birthday. No matter how many times I was told to quit and stay home I wouldn't because I felt like it would be too much on him.

 

I regret that now. I wish I had listened to him right away. Its not good to put yourself in a situation where your mental health is at risk. And if your Daddy says he can handle it then trust in him. You just make sure he knows he's appreciated and it sounds like your doing that anyway.

 

Give it a little time, understand that most places will not be like your last job, and when you feel better start looking. Start small, test the waters, and go at your own pace.

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Oh wow that's so bad! You should definitely take care of you first. I'm so happy for you that your daddy wants to put your mental health first too! Maybe when you know you are ready you could look. And if he's OK working two jobs in the meantime it looks like you could take the time to find something that will be a better fit. Hugs and love and I wish you better luck at the next job!
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Guest littlemissragamuffin
That sounds like a horrible place to have worked! No one should treat anyone like that. It's right to have left that job. I would say, that for now, don't worry yourself and let your Daddy take care of you. House work is hard work. Washing dishes and cloths. Folding clothes. Keeping floors clean. Cooking. Dusting amd keeping things organizated. Cleaning skins, bathtub(s) and potty(s). Windows and TV screens. Keeping trash under control. That's alot of work, and it's very helpful to be doing. So for now, don't feel bad. Your working and helping. Your just working at home. After a few weeks or when you feel less stressed you can try for a job again. May I suggest a part-time job? Where you don't work every day or work maybe only 4 or 6 hours a day? And remember to remind your Daddy of how wonderful of a hard worker he is, how he works hard to take care of you and you appreciate ever little second of everything he does for you 。^‿^。 ♥ it'll help to keep him from feeling stressed and over worked
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Guest Pouty Kitten
You did the right thing by taking the time to take care of your well-being. There's no need to feel guilty about your Daddy having two jobs- he's taking care of responsibilities and if he says he's alright with it then trust that it is :) Get a job in a different field and do it when you're ready.
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When you reach a comfortable point, you could try finding a voluntary job once or twice a week! It'll help you get used to a work environment again, with a lot less pressure. Plus you'll gain new experience and you can use that to help you get another job when you're ready ^.^
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Thank you so much for all the advice.

I suppose I'll just try my best to show Daddy how grateful I am, and I really want to try again working with animals eventually.

I feel really lucky :)

For Daddy, and for all the nice people on this forum!

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You did the right thing leaving. You should always take care of you first. Plus that place sounds disgusting. Putting down happy healthy animals, and acting like scum about it had me lit to begin with. I'd have left in a heartbeat if anyone were to talk to me like they did to you. Kudos for not snapping back at them. 

Also, never ever EVER feel guilty about taking care of you and knowing when to throw in the towel and get the heck out of a situation.  It sounds like your Daddy would much rather you be happy and healthy than putting up with that kind of abuse in the workplace. I mean you can always find another job later on down the line when you are ready.  plus, you seem too sweet to be around toxic scum like that,

I hope you're feeling much better now or feel better soon. 

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