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Question about brats??


Cebakes

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While I’ve dated women and been with those who have brat traits, I’ve never been with anyone whose whole persona is that of a brat, especially on a first date .   I had dinner the other night with a woman in her mid 30’s, professional, and a homeowner. We met on another online site and we’re chatting for just a day and we were so close that it made sense to meet for a quick dinner.  It was clear we were both kinky, I’m a daddy, she was submissive and a brat.

When we met in the parking lot, we had a quick hug and kiss, and as we were walking into the restaurant, she asked for money for a tank of gas.  I literally thought she was joking, but it was clear she wasn’t.  She lives 5 miles away, and there had never been any discussion of. P2P or that I was a SD.   I laughed and said I didn’t have any cash on me…..I did give her the side eye and a wtf look……

It was pretty offputting, and there were a number of things during the meal that turned me off or surprised me about her bratty behavior .

My question, is this normal or abnormal behavior?  There were a number of reasons that I was not interested in seeing her further,  I did not share them with her.  I’m just curious about  people’s thoughts on this?

 

 

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Brat or not, that's inappropriate. It just puts you in an awkward position. She shouldn't have asked that, much less when you barely knew each other. Don't know if it's about her bratty behaviour, it just sounds like she doesn't understand/follow common sense and social norms. 

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What’s normal to some is abnormal to others , the same goes the opposite way as well.

To her , this might be her normal behavior and hasn’t been checked on it or been told how off putting it can be….. or you know… she has been told and just doesn’t give a fuck cause she wants your (or anyone else’s) money. 
 

In my humble opinion (based on the small amount of detail given) , this isn’t brat behavior. This is gold digging , sugar baby wanna be , pushing limits to see what I can get behavior. Sadly , my gut instinct tells me she thought you would be an easy target to get some quick cash or monetary gain out of. Her mistake , huh @Cebakes ? 
 

If you went into more detail on her other behaviors that put you off I would happily give an opinion on if it’s bratty or just shitty behaviors that need to be checked - but as it stands …. I see it as this chick fishing for cash flow. If she is willing to ask you for money on the first meeting , what will she ask for two months in , six months in ? If she is professional , a home owner and “so put together” …. Why does she need your money ? 
 

I have very specific opinions on sugaring or financial kinks - and to ask for money on the first date is a red flag even for those kinks. Wanna be a pay pig ? Cool. You don’t ? Also cool. It should be discussed first before just being like hey give me money for gas 😅 Sounds like you’re dodging a bullet here bro. 

Edited by DaddysMonkey
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42 minutes ago, DaddysMonkey said:

What’s normal to some is abnormal to others , the same goes the opposite way as well.

To her , this might be her normal behavior and hasn’t been checked on it or been told how off putting it can be….. or you know… she has been told and just doesn’t give a fuck cause she wants your (or anyone else’s) money. 
 

In my humble opinion (based on the small amount of detail given) , this isn’t brat behavior. This is gold digging , sugar baby wanna be , pushing limits to see what I can get behavior. Sadly , my gut instinct tells me she thought you would be an easy target to get some quick cash or monetary gain out of. Her mistake , huh @Cebakes ? 
 

If you went into more detail on her other behaviors that put you off I would happily give an opinion on if it’s bratty or just shitty behaviors that need to be checked - but as it stands …. I see it as this chick fishing for cash flow. If she is willing to ask you for money on the first meeting , what will she ask for two months in , six months in ? If she is professional , a home owner and “so put together” …. Why does she need your money ? 
 

I have very specific opinions on sugaring or financial kinks - and to ask for money on the first date is a red flag even for those kinks. Wanna be a pay pig ? Cool. You don’t ? Also cool. It should be discussed first before just being like hey give me money for gas 😅 Sounds like you’re dodging a bullet here bro. 

Yeah like monkey Said I don't know if I would consider this bratty more a sign of seeing if she could get anything out of you

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The only positive thing about the night was the restaurant was less than five minutes from my house and I could’ve walked there if I had to.   I’ve had discussions with women about cash arrangements and have told them I’ve never done that and don’t have the need to do that.   Most women are smart enough to see that I live a pretty good life and I’m a generous guy, but to be hit with that in the parking lot caught me off guard, since there was zero talk about any type of SB arrangement. 

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I agree it sounds more like sugarbaby than brat behavior.

My knee jerk response would have been "Gas money ? No worries, I got you. But I'ma need you to go halfsies on this dinner boo."

Sounds like someones trying to get caught up in that sprinkle sprinkle nonsense and I'm not the one to try that with.

If we're together I'll break my back to make sure you have what you need without you having to ask. But don't come at me on a first date saying you need a tank of gas for your time. If I wanted to pay for a date I'd hire a pro.

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10 minutes ago, shadowrider said:

I agree it sounds more like sugarbaby than brat behavior.

My knee jerk response would have been "Gas money ? No worries, I got you. But I'ma need you to go halfsies on this dinner boo."

Sounds like someones trying to get caught up in that sprinkle sprinkle nonsense and I'm not the one to try that with.

If we're together I'll break my back to make sure you have what you need without you having to ask. But don't come at me on a first date saying you need a tank of gas for your time. If I wanted to pay for a date I'd hire a pro.

I felt bad for her that she didn’t see how wrong it was what she  asked for.  Part of me thought she was testing me or trying to get a reaction out of me. 

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It sounds more like a case of I'm gonna see if he goes for it so I know what I can ask for later. Sadly there is a lot of that going on right now.

And she may see nothing wrong with it, and that would be a problem for me.

To me it shows a lack of self respect and respect for me and that won't fly.

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Ooh yeah that just sounds icky and off putting. If you’re meeting for dinner, I would never have assumed to ask for gas money in the parking lot (or at all really) because that would’ve been asked ahead of time. Like hey I’d love to but… or I don’t have gas could you meet me or pick me up? Etc. I’d politely state you didn’t click and wish her well and move along. 

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Straight up inappro. 🙅‍♀️ Frankly, it's a red flag for me when people try to "explain" their traits (especially their entitlement to certain demands/expectations) in terms of "being part of my kinky side" or "part or my role as X in kink". And it's like a whole COLOR GUARD of red flags to trot that out so quickly. 🚩 🚩 🚩

You and I have been on here together long enough to know my general take: even us overtly-involved-in-kink people are humans 1st, and kinksters......like, 12th, lol. 😛

If I were making a wiiiiiild guess, I'd say this person was already used to doing this (or was raised to do/think this is ok) and then found kink as an effective cover for doing it successfully.

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25 minutes ago, GayKitten said:

Straight up inappro. 🙅‍♀️ Frankly, it's a red flag for me when people try to "explain" their traits (especially their entitlement to certain demands/expectations) in terms of "being part of my kinky side" or "part or my role as X in kink". And it's like a whole COLOR GUARD of red flags to trot that out so quickly. 🚩 🚩 🚩

You and I have been on here together long enough to know my general take: even us overtly-involved-in-kink people are humans 1st, and kinksters......like, 12th, lol. 😛

If I were making a wiiiiiild guess, I'd say this person was already used to doing this (or was raised to do/think this is ok) and then found kink as an effective cover for doing it successfully.

As Aikko said, I should have ended the date when she asked for gas money.   I couldn’t believe she said that, I thought she was fu*****  with me,  or it might have been some sort of weird test.   There were several other bold statements or questions, that really got my attention, but I thought she was maybe trying to get a rise out of me and this was all part of her brat routine.

I know  if we spent one more day chatting, this would have all come out and there would not have been a dinner.   Live and learn, I got too excited by speaking with someone so close by. 

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Honestly, hard to blame you for weighing real-life proximity as a real consideration -- if (God forbid) I was thrown back into dating in this day and age, being local enough to actually see and meet up with would just be.......lol, I can't even think of a simile, it's literally so important 😆

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  • 2 weeks later...

Wouldn’t say that behaviour is ‘brat behaviour’ and just more of a personal issue she has. To me bratting also has to be consensual, if the person I’m with hasn’t agreed that they are okay with that behaviour, I would never just unleash it upon them. 

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