Jump to content

Angry CG makes a scared little


Asura
 Share

Recommended Posts

My Daddy has a... An anger problem. I try so hard to ignore it and be the mature one. But I have a history dealing with different forms of abuse, so it brings up my PTSD. I know he doesn't mean it or can't help it. I just don't know what to do. I love him. But the smallest things tip him off. Especially if he's tired or stressed. \: I've explained that it scares me, but he only apologizes. I know he's trying, but when it does happen, I just want to hide.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's a saying I've heard in the past that rang so true to me that I always like to tell it to those suffering from the actions of the ones they love.

 

"You can't burn yourself to keep others warm"

 

Basically meaning how long can you really put up with this before it really starts to permanently affect you in a negative way.

 

Triggering your ptsd is pretty awful and he knows that it bothers you so much yet it continues on.

 

I don't like to be the person who always advises someone to leave their partner so at the worst I'll ask you to think about how long you've been together and is the positive connection you share outweighing the negative. Could you really be okay if he never changed? I'd make a few more pleas to his affection for you and really ask him to clean up his act. Nobody deserves to live in real fear of their partner. I wish you the best of luck and hope you do what's best for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest buddhagirl

I was married to a man who had anger problems. I understood and had compassion for him because he had suffered abuse when he was young. He went to therapy--a lot of therapy. I, too, was abused when I was young, so his anger was very scary to me. We're divorced now because of this. I have friends who also have spouses that have anger management issues--therapy has not worked for them, either. I know it can be heartbreaking to love someone that isn't the right fit for us, but it happens a lot. Relationships with the RIGHT person are easy. They really are. My Daddy/husband and I get along beautifully. He has NEVER gotten angry or yelled or anything like that. It's not who he is. You shouldn't be with someone that has anger issues if it is a trigger for you. Just my opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Anger can be scary, and hard to get a handle on, but do not be mistaken and think he can't help it. He is using his anger as a tool, and I'd be willing to bet that once he's angry he gets whatever he wants. I've struggled with anger management most of my life. When I was younger I'd get so angry I could get in fights no matter where I was, who was around, or what the consequences were. I didn't know how to better deal with things. You need take it clear that his anger isn't acceptable, and he needs to work on it. The more you "deal" with it, the more he will rely on it. And, the more he gets his way, the quicker it'll be used.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest littlemissragamuffin

I would take to him about trying to get help with his anger issues.

 

I have anger issues, so does my bf. Sometimes when your mad you just need to remove yourself. Ask him to take cool down time. Just take a walk, or go off by himself, until he claims down. If it's a fight between the two of you, stop the conversation until your claim again and you guys can actually talk. When getting heated in a conversation, stop and come back to it later.

 

Angry issues suck and are hard to deal with. But there are small things you can do. If he's angry ask him not to talk to you until he's relaxed. If he's really sorry, he'll understand and be willing to try.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have to agree with littlemissragamuffin. My husband has really bad anger issues. He used to start screaming and yelling and punching holes in walls over the tiniest things. But I've talked to him and gotten him to the point where if he's that angry, he'll go off in a room by himself and take a breather before we talk. And if he doesn't do that and starts yelling I go into our room and lock the door. When he asks me to open the door, I will tell him "not until you calm down" which usually makes him stop and calm down so I will talk to him.

 

I'm sure you guys can make it work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...