Jump to content

Question


Guest MadameButterfly
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest Pouty Kitten

Just like Mr.J said, your need to have an open communication with your Daddy. This is an issue that should be discussed between you two since everyone has different desires.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest ADudeHasNoName
LDRs suck in general. No way around it, and itsade even worse when your partner isnt much for phone conversations. It's a little different if you've been with each other a while, but it deffinately can put a huge strain on a relationship. Don't expect your daddy to be in constant contact, but be aware of your own needs and let him know that you need more than a txt message every week saying "hi".
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Disclaimer: I no longer do LDR for myself so take my advice with a grain of salt. Maybe I'm just biased against it but I'm sure it works for others!

 

With my last little we were 2 hours apart and we talked throughout the day constantly and even then I still felt as though I wasn't getting or giving enough time with her. We would meet physically at least once every month and still with the daily contact it felt a little flat. I'm honestly a little surprised he would go a whole day without talking to someone in an LDR. Because with all the other limiting factors of LDRs texts and little check ins are an even bigger part of any relationship before even considering the D/S aspects. Though I'm not trying to say he's wrong or bad to not talk you much more it is concerning to me that you two don't seem to be on the same page on this matter. I would say communication is needed here. You're so obviously feeling neglected and it's possible he doesn't understand. A conversation about each other's wants and expectations might be in order. Hoping for the best, good luck!

 

Edit: oops. Just realized I posted in the littles forum. Hope that wasn't a big no no.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I really dislike LDR as a disclaimer. I have had to do it here and there for a while.

Second disclaimer, every relationship and dynamic is going to be different.

Third disclaimer, I identify as a daddy, but have not had a little one yet.

 

So honestly communication should go both ways, both of you should start it. As a daddy I believe checking on my little is very important, so communication throughout the day is something I cherish, no matter how busy I am, I make time to check on those that would be potential partners and little to me, a priority. This is me, and what feels right to me, might be the complete opposite for someone else.

 

The fact that you feel you two don't talk enough and that you want him to initiate conversation also might mean you two need to talk about it, figure out if you two are right for each other.

 

I can't judge him to say he is a daddy or not because being a daddy means different things to different people.

 

To me being a daddy means giving attention to your little and that means even checking on them while at work.

 

@NYGuy, yes, providing advice in the little section is not a big no no, I end up doing it more often then not and not been yelled at yet. Just make sure you provide honest feedback that is hopefully not negative.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you feel like you're always starting the conversations, you should talk to him about it. Being in an LDR is a lot more work than being RL I think because through text a lot can be missed, dropped, taken wrong, you can't tell tones or see faces.

 

If both people aren't "in it" as far as communication, the relationship will fall flat. If one feels they're doing more work than the other, problems will occur.

 

Being in an LDR for about two years now I can tell you we talk daily. Very rarely is a day missed. Conversations surround everything. Many ways are around to be close, utilize a shared site (like this one) where you can both be present. Dropbox or one drive allow easy shared access for pictures, videos, etc. Texting, instant messaging are helpful. Skype if you can. I mean there are just so many ways to keep in touch..

 

It sounds like you should talk to him and find out what kind of contact he expects, tell him what you want/need and go from there.

 

<3

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"how often do you talk?" - Personally my expectation would be to communicate every day, at least as the goal (accepting that's not always possible), even if it's just by leaving messages for the other to pick up later. Both have a responsibility to keep in contact, however it's often part of the daddy/caregiver role to check up on the little so perhaps a bit more of the responsibility/expectation for this lies on their side. However, every one is different; it depends on how both of you want the dynamic to work.

 

"do you talk about everything?" - Yes! especially in LDR you should make extra effort to be open and honest. I would discuss how you feel and see if you can make a plan. It's important to talk about such things as clearly as possible (without being too blunt or hurtful) - it's surprising how much misunderstandings can happen in all relationships (but especially long-distance), even over things you thought were thoroughly talked through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For the first 8 months or so of our relationship, Daddy and I were LDR. Neither of us likes talking on the phone. We texted a LOT. Every single day. Then at night we usually skyped for a little bit. The Face Time made talking less awkward for us.

 

We were both very busy people, but we were crazy about each other. We made communication happen. Without making assumptions about your daddy's life, I would hope he realizes how DDlg magnifies the need for communication and knows that littles are needy in general because its our JOB. Regardless of how busy he is, he should make sure you know your feelings are valid. Like at the very minimum. Because you deserve to know you are important.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If he never initiates a conversation...it sounds to me like he really isn't "into it". BEING a Daddy is a lot more than just being called Daddy. Being a Daddy, is being a caregiver...just like an actual Father. It's our job to make sure that our littles feel safe, loved, needed and special. If he is not doing that for you...then, he is not doing his job...and is not a very good Daddy.

 

As DaddyJsPrincess said, her and I both have very hectic lives. Other than working 60-70 hours a week, I am also the father of three amazing kids of my own...and yet, I always find time to let her know that I am thinking of her...even if it's just by texting her a selfie of me as I travel between job locations.

 

It just seems like your guy wants the title without actually doing the job...

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...