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What do you look for?


Jmsplay
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Hi!

 

I was just wondering what everybody looked for in a partner, be they the dominant or the submissive.

It can be physical traits, or personality traits... You name it.

 

For me, there's a number of things that I would like my partner to be/have.

Some of these are pretty obvious/general:

  • Be honest
  • Be understanding
  • Be able to look past my flaws/looks
  • Be supportive
  • Be cute and cuddly
  • Be rational
  • Have similar interests

These are just a number of things that I can think of off the top of my head.

 

What about you?

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I think what I look for in any kind of relationship: friendship, romantic, professional; is really similar. 

  • Respect. That one is pretty obvious, in any kind of scenario I want the person I'm conversing with to be respectful to me and my needs.
  • Stability. I think this is what I find most attractive in people, being stable in any sense, especially mentally stable. I get really emotional for no good reason and knowing there's someone to help me pull myself together and just has their sh*t all together is very calming. 
  • Honesty. Again goes without saying. Trust and communication are necessary for any healthy relationship. 
  • Patience. No yelling at me or getting frustrated when I make mistakes. 
  • Support. You don't have to agree with all my decisions, but at the end of the day I'd like to know you're by my side type of deal. 
  • Chemistry? This one applies mainly for romantic relationships, at least in the sense I intend it. I mean being sexually compatible/arousing. 
  • Communicative. I can't know what's going on in someone's head so... it'd be much easier if they simply tell me. 
  • Humorous. Seriously if you can't make me laugh (I doubt that's hard) it ain't gonna workout. 
  • So many more. But thing is a human's a human, anything too polished and perfect will creep the hell out of me. So you do you, I'll do me and everything is going to be just fine. 
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I think what I look for in any kind of relationship: friendship, romantic, professional; is really similar. 

  • Respect. That one is pretty obvious, in any kind of scenario I want the person I'm conversing with to be respectful to me and my needs.
  • Stability. I think this is what I find most attractive in people, being stable in any sense, especially mentally stable. I get really emotional for no good reason and knowing there's someone to help me pull myself together and just has their sh*t all together is very calming. 
  • Honesty. Again goes without saying. Trust and communication are necessary for any healthy relationship. 
  • Patience. No yelling at me or getting frustrated when I make mistakes. 
  • Support. You don't have to agree with all my decisions, but at the end of the day I'd like to know you're by my side type of deal. 
  • Chemistry? This one applies mainly for romantic relationships, at least in the sense I intend it. I mean being sexually compatible/arousing. 
  • Communicative. I can't know what's going on in someone's head so... it'd be much easier if they simply tell me. 
  • Humorous. Seriously if you can't make me laugh (I doubt that's hard) it ain't gonna workout. 
  • So many more. But thing is a human's a human, anything too polished and perfect will creep the hell out of me. So you do you, I'll do me and everything is going to be just fine. 

 

I agree with all of these, especially the last few.

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Basically what's already said, especially the communicative, so importan for the couple to be able to commuicate their feelings and what they feel is good and bad about the relationship so that it can be worked on. No communication kills relationships IMO. Only thing that I would maybe add is open minded. Having a closed off mind limits yourself and makes the other person feel as if their in the wrong.
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I looked for honesty, respect, communication, respect, loyalty, and respect as far as non-physical traits went. I was in an emotional abuse situation before meeting my partner, so more than anything, I wanted him to respect me.

 

As far as physical traits goes, I wanted someone tall, with "pretty eyes" and who had a great smile.

 

I got all of these and so many more in the man who is now my husband. 

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I looked for honesty, respect, communication, respect, loyalty, and respect as far as non-physical traits went. I was in an emotional abuse situation before meeting my partner, so more than anything, I wanted him to respect me.

 

As far as physical traits goes, I wanted someone tall, with "pretty eyes" and who had a great smile.

 

I got all of these and so many more in the man who is now my husband. 

I'm glad you've found someone who fits your criteria! :)

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The things I really need to see in my partner/Daddy Dom arrreeee:

  • Patience: Being a little, I need a Daddy who can be patient with me. Someone willing to sit down and teach me thing or talk to me sternly in order to better myself. 
  • Passion: Relationships can get tough. I want my partner to want to fight for us. I also want him to be passionate about what he does in life. I don't want to be with someone who is settling on a career or in a relationship. 
  • Communication: I need to be able to speak freely with my partner or else I'll bottle things up.
  • Family-oriented: Family is so important to me. Being a mother one day is important to me. If he doesn't want kids, it would be a deal breaker. 
  • Humor: I need to laugh! I like the funnies!

 

Agreed. I'd want someone interested in having a family. I'm not interested right now, per se. Probably because I'm so young comparatively, haha.

 

What would you say is the most important criteria?

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Even with my age, I wouldn't say that I want kids right now. I've pretty much accepted that I probably won't have kids for at least another five years. But it is super important to me! 

 

Gosh, the most important..that's so hard! I want to say family but I wouldn't want to make a family with someone who didn't have the other qualities. I think they are all pretty necessary! 

I'd say chemistry is the most important part, but you're right - the other qualities are almost equally important!

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As a dd, what I like from my little are: her loyalty, being content & interested in each other's going ons, openness, wild but guarded innocence, trusting, honesty, loving, likes to learn, listen & express her needs, playful, receptiveness yet curiously kinky & be completely infatuated with daddy as forever daddy's girl ;)

 

And, unconditional love. "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they are yours; if they don't they never were."

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Respect, honesty, stability, passionate, funny, responsible, shared interests but able to maintain their own separate interests without it being a problem, wants to experience life (try new things, get out of the house, have fun), spontaneous, good communication skills, loyal, embraces my littleness.

 

<3

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Pouty Kitten

1. Intelligence. I need someone who can challenge my mind about any subject.

2. Honesty. This is self-explanatory. I won't deal with someone who wants to deceive me.

3. Dominance. I am very submissive so I need someone able to counteract my personality.

4. Sense of humor. It needs to match mine or else we just won't work out.

5. Sexual chemistry.

6. Loyalty.

7. Well-mannered/respectable

8. Open-minded

9. Patient. I can be extremely hard to deal with.

10. Self-driven

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1.) Highly Intelligent. I require a partner who has an intelligence that is equal to if not greater than my own. By intelligence I do not simply mean "school smarts." I require an individual who is wise, reflective, and philosophical. This individual is able to understand the world as well as myself instrinsically and esoterically.

 

2.) Similarity: To contine from the aforementioned, I require a partner who is similar to me when it comes to world views, human views, and overall attitudes to life. I'm indifferent to whether our interests mesh. As long as we are on the same wavelength, I am content. This is a great necessity to me for I have found that I am not attracted to someone starkly different from me. I require that non-verbal, instantaneous understanding that is beyond speech. 

 

3.) Romantic: I require a partner who is highly romantic. This individual will be sensitive, empathetic, and understanding. They will love to go for romantic dinners, dates, and to have poems made and read to them. I will constantly be showering them with love and attention and ensuring that they understand the depth of my affections. I need a partner who is responsive to this, otherwise, I will wilt and eventually recoil. I also require the same in turn and love to be spoiled.

 

4.) Passionate: You need to titillate my mind, my heart, and my blood. I need to be attracted to you on every level: emotionally, mentally, and sexually. I never had specifics for looks. I just know. 

 

5.) Affectionate: I need lots of affection in terms of attention both physically and emotionally. I need validation that I am loved whether it be through a kiss on the forehead or a brush of your hand in a public place. I love to be snuggled and cuddled. I love to kiss, hug, and give massages. You must love these things as well.

 

6.) Conversationalist/Charismatic: You are able to match my wit and understand my sense of humor. We can have five different conversations occurring at once. We can be philosophical one minute, talking about finance the next, and reminscincing on last year's anniversary trip at the same time.

 

7.) Respectful: You must respect me and it is essential that I respect you. Love is easier than respect. If I do not respect you, then you will be incapable of comforting me and I will never take you seriously.

 

8.) Honesty/Integrity: I admire individuals with a self-defined moral code. I do not believe in universal morality so generally what I expect is an individual who is conscientious of his actions, takes responsibility for his mistakes, doesn't lie to me, admits his faults, and is always seeking to improve. I like the idea of an "old-fashioned" gentleman who has eyes only for his beloved, is a self-made man who doesn't require the approval of others, and doesn't don a facade in front of his peers. 

 

9.) Misanthropic: I myself am pretty misanthropic and as stated- opposites don't attract for me. I don't do well with social butterflies or individuals who need a swarm of friends.

 

10.) Understanding: You listen to my stories, and you validate who I am. Your understanding of who I was urges me to become a better, more self-aware me. You're always there to lend an ear, but you don't let me get away with my wrongs. You tell me the truth, regardless of whether or not I want to hear it. I will always need to hear it. 

 

11.) Selfless: I require a partner who is willing to love me unconditionally and would do anything for me. I believe in soul mates and unconditional love and selflessness is essential. I will give you my entire self so you must be willing to do the same.

 

12.) Adventurous: You like to explore our community, you like to learn from me as I learn from you, and we are constantly evolving together. We are always expanding our horizons whether it be through new dining, travels, learning, or mental exposures.

 

13.) Protective: You view me as a treasure, a little baby, and you desire to protect me from the plethora of hardships in this world. You are sad if I am sad, and grow angry if someone hurts me. 

 

14.) Individualistic: You are mentally and ethically strong. You are not easily swayed by others and do not display continuous weakness in terms of succumbing to others and blending in with the herd. You do not smoke, drink, or use drugs. You are faithful and devoted and non-religious.

 

15.) Dominant: You like to dominant sexually and in our daily life. However, you view me as an equal and always take my viewpoint into account. You guide me and are constantly teaching me how to become a better baby.

 

The truth is, I only had vague inclinations of what I desired before I met my papa bear. Now he has defined for me what I need in a partner and that is utterly him. Always. No one can fit this bill but him for he is my soul mate and an utterly perfect match. I am beyond lucky that he found me. :) I am thankful everyday for such a wonderful man who is beyond my wildest dreams. 

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