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complicated issue about getting my bf into the dd/lg dynamic!


ena

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You can't force someone to be a Dom or a Daddy eaither they are or they arn't and you already awnsered your own question saying he isn't a daddy miterial then he isn't. Forcing it will only make you both miserable there is a user on tumblr who went though something similar and she has a husband and a daddy (seprtate men)

 

For some people being little is a big big part of who they are I think it comes down to you figuring out what you want first off.

You awnser all your own questions. Yes being little is something you need you just said so in the last sentence and yes it is something you can't live ith out

however this man is not a Dom/caregiver sort it sounds like. You could try and see if he'll be more Dom sexually but as far as the Daddy/Caregiver aspect you might want to consider finding another person if a triad/poly works for you

 

As for what to do ask yourself. Can I live with not having these needs met when I'm older?

Your young, your 19 and right now it might seem like you can handle this but what about when your 25, 30, 35?

Will you be okay with this man if he can't satisfy a very imporent part of you? Do you think he can try his best?

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Guest Pouty Kitten

Just like lilvioletcub stated, you cannot force someone into a lifestyle they aren't into. Not everyone is made to be involved in the BDSM community and that's perfectly fine. You have to find what's important to you and if that means leaving him to find someone that fits what you want, then so be it. Don't settle for anything less.

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If your boyfriend is really not interested in being a Daddy then he won't ever be. Insisting he do it for you will lead to resentment and a feeling of being unfulfilled. Like faking an orgasm... What's the point, you aren't getting what you want out of it lol.

 

I'm not saying break up... I'm saying give up on him being something he's not. You can still be little. Nurture your little side yourself. Learn to take care of you. To be honest if you don't know how to take care of your little yourself then you won't really know what you want from a Daddy anyway. Explore on your own.

 

Give it some time and think it over. If you just can't deal with not having a Daddy then the relationship won't work. Hopefully if your really in love then him not being a Daddy won't matter. He just won't ever be something he's not.

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BDSM (of which DDlg is a part) is based on two things. Trust and Honesty. You have to trust yourself and your partner, and be completely honest with yourself and your partner. This means communication. You need to sit down with him and talk, without emotions, without accusations and without fear. You both need to express yourselves in a calm and respectful manner and let each other know what is really going through your heads. You can't read each other's minds and we, as humans, tend to make assumptions and hide things from our partners, which can lead to resentment and eventual failure of the relationship.

 

You both need to come to terms with your feelings and figure out your next steps from there. Be honest with each other and yourselves.

 

Just my opinion.

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Perhaps I'm adulting in the extreme here, but one of your statements was that "he spends most of his time being unemployed and playing video games". If he's unable to look after himself, what makes you think he's going to be able to take care of you?
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Perhaps I'm adulting in the extreme here, but one of your statements was that "he spends most of his time being unemployed and playing video games". If he's unable to look after himself, what makes you think he's going to be able to take care of you?

 ^ This as well as the line "He seems to think that being a daddy dom will take up all his time and energy," Well....yes it will its a relationship those things take your time and energy and I echo this if he is like that to this degree what makes you think he's going to be able to take care of you?

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