Having children standing in the way of finding a Daddy

[littlegala]

Hewo 

I guess I just want to post here because my little heart keeps getting broken. When I speak with Daddies they ask for open and honest communication so I’m honest. I tell them that I have a grown son with Autism that has taken a lot of my time. I also have a grown kid that is transgender that all I want is respect for them. That goes for both actually.  But don't worry because I just want someone for me. It just pushes them away. But I really don't want to lie to the potential Daddies or get them attached. That's worse getting to be with someone and then they leave.  It just really hurts my heart and makes me wanna give up on searching for a Daddy. 

[redruffle41]

Gross behavior from these supposed "men".  Gotta find a guy who 1000% respects your role as a mother. That can be hard to find cuz lots of daddies can have damage in how they view women. Where are you looking??? There's a lot of bias and prejudice in trans issues cuz they're so media and political focused right now. It's closing off people's minds to the base values of human rights, freedom and America. Don't get why people think they have the right to judge others and then also tell them what to do. Hope you find a man open minded guy!!! Ps try looking on fet life for daddies who are more progressive or at least open minded about trans and respectful of women as people and prioritizing motherhood.

[littlegala]

Thank you that meant a lot to me and gave me more confidence. I don't feel crazy thinking the same way. I'm on fetlife, Facebook and here. So I got all my bases covered 😆. 

[DaddyShenanigan]

Hey Littlegala, I am a dude and you are right to not lie. If a man finds you lied then they will probably walk. Like RedRuffle said, find someone who wants to be with you for you and the kids in your life. As a man, if I really cared about a woman then I would accept her kids. I think it should be rule #1 anyway to any man dating a mom that her kids come first. That may be off putting to a lot of men, but then they probably aren't the best fit anyway. 

However, I think fetlife is gross but hey, it may make for a funny how we met story

[redruffle41]

Also, wait. The title of this post uses the word 'baggage'. Um, lady girl love. Your kids are work and def gonna affect the trajectory of your life. I just think if you use the word baggage you're gonna feel worse about your situation. Cuz kids are also special. So....why you use that word?

[littlegala]

1 hour ago, redruffle41 said:

Also, wait. The title of this post uses the word 'baggage'. Um, lady girl love. Your kids are work and def gonna affect the trajectory of your life. I just think if you use the word baggage you're gonna feel worse about your situation. Cuz kids are also special. So....why you use that word?

I’ll change the title. Its just I’m so used people calling what I have as baggage when it comes to dating that its become a bad habit.

[littlegala]

4 minutes ago, littlegala82 said:

I’ll change the title. Its just I’m so used people calling what I have as baggage when it comes to dating that its become a bad habit.

Wait I can't change it 😔 But I get what you're saying and I agree 🙂

[DaddyShenanigan]

@littlegala82 Remember, you are enough just the way you are! You deserve to be loved unconditionally and to be happy. You deserve someone who will cherish you, as you should cherish yourself and your loved ones. 

There are people here in this community who care. If you can, continue to open up and talk with others and get the support you deserve to have! With all the posts I have seen from RedRuffle, she seems like she knows what she is talking about 🙂

Edited May 2 by Warmandfuzzy

[kryssi01]

I have 4 children all whom have Autism. One is transgender. They are my world. I'm also disabled and currently in a DV Marriage which I am trying to leave. I get baggage but I hope to find a man who still sees my worth and deserves my love. 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

These men aren't Daddies. Ffs, I wouldn't even classify them as men, let alone human. They're toxic monsters that suck the motivational life force out of their victims.

You've dodged bullets, so please keep being honest. Your family and sanity depends on it. It's hard to take and understand rejection for sure, but sometimes taking the L in a situation, is actually a quiet W.

Edit;

Also, unless you've disowned or are planning to go low/no contact with your kids, they absolutely 1000% aren't baggage. They're your family and real men- real Daddies, will ultimately see past that if they genuinely want to be with you.

Of course, remaining childfree is definitely a valid lifestyle, but that clearly isn't what you're describing here.

Edited May 2 by .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ

[littlegala]

2 hours ago, kryssi01 said:

I have 4 children all whom have Autism. One is transgender. They are my world. I'm also disabled and currently in a DV Marriage which I am trying to leave. I get baggage but I hope to find a man who still sees my worth and deserves my love. 

I know both of us will. With everyone’s positive motivation it gives me hope It has changed my perception on things.

[littlegala]

23 minutes ago, .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ said:

These men aren't Daddies. Ffs, I wouldn't even classify them as men, let alone human. They're toxic monsters that suck the motivational life force out of their victims.

You've dodged bullets, so please keep being honest. Your family and sanity depends on it. It's hard to take and understand rejection for sure, but sometimes taking the L in a situation, is actually a quiet W.

Edit;

Also, unless you've disowned or are planning to go low/no contact with your kids, they absolutely 1000% aren't baggage. They're your family and real men- real Daddies, will ultimately see past that if they genuinely want to be with you.

Of course, remaining childfree is definitely a valid lifestyle, but that clearly isn't what you're describing here.

Thank you and I understand now they’re not baggage. They’re my kids and I love them. I could never see myself disowning them.

[MissAnna]

@littlegala82 As a mother of a daughter who has Autism I completely understand the struggles you face. Opening up about your beautiful children shows strength and courage. 

I'm so sorry that these caregivers have hurt you and made you feel undeserving of love. Because that is not the case, you are worthy of love and you do matter. 

Please don't allow these few moments to break your inner peace, you are enough and you are perfect just the way you are. You children are beautiful and perfect just the way they are. 

Keep your chin up and don't give up, my door is always open 

Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved ❤️ 

[BabyPoppy]

@littlegala82

As a long term single mom with 2 kids who are neurodivergent, with challenging behavior,  I get it.  Sometimes just an uninterrupted hot shower or eating your supper while it's hot are luxuries. Then when you hear that your kids are burdens from someone who is supposed to be a Caregiver,  a Daddy,  a safe, secure, rock of support for you is so painful. Please know that this forum can be different than what you've experienced.  People here do care and it is home, a family. They want to be supportive. 

My best advice is to breath... which is so hard when you are hurting, but take a slow deep breath of courage. Let go of a little hurt when you breath out.

Take another deep breath of strength to face today, moment by moment, letting go of little more hurt when you breath out. 

Take another deep breath of peace or calm to know we are here and you are accepted.  Let go of a little more hurt when you breath out. 

You are not alone and advocating for your children is the right thing to do. 3 deep breaths, focusing on positive words helps to change your mindset from I can't,  to it's possible. 

Thank you for being brave enough to share your concerns here and to seek support. 🫂 This is a hug for you. I hope you have a wonderful weekend with your children and that you feel supported as a Mom, as a person and as a little.  

Baby Manda💖🎶

[littlegala]

29 minutes ago, Baby Manda said:

@littlegala82

As a long term single mom with 2 kids who are neurodivergent, with challenging behavior,  I get it.  Sometimes just an uninterrupted hot shower or eating your supper while it's hot are luxuries. Then when you hear that your kids are burdens from someone who is supposed to be a Caregiver,  a Daddy,  a safe, secure, rock of support for you is so painful. Please know that this forum can be different than what you've experienced.  People here do care and it is home, a family. They want to be supportive. 

My best advice is to breath... which is so hard when you are hurting, but take a slow deep breath of courage. Let go of a little hurt when you breath out.

Take another deep breath of strength to face today, moment by moment, letting go of little more hurt when you breath out. 

Take another deep breath of peace or calm to know we are here and you are accepted.  Let go of a little more hurt when you breath out. 

You are not alone and advocating for your children is the right thing to do. 3 deep breaths, focusing on positive words helps to change your mindset from I can't,  to it's possible. 

Thank you for being brave enough to share your concerns here and to seek support. 🫂 This is a hug for you. I hope you have a wonderful weekend with your children and that you feel supported as a Mom, as a person and as a little.  

Baby Manda💖🎶

Thank you. I really don't feel so alone anymore.

[PigtailPrincess]

@littlegala82 I went ahead and changed the title a little for you since that is what was wanted sounds like. Let me know if there is any issue.

[littlegala]

6 minutes ago, PigtailPrincess said:

@littlegala82 I went ahead and changed the title a little for you since that is what was wanted sounds like. Let me know if there is any issue.

Its good thank you

[beanbean]

On 5/1/2025 at 12:51 PM, littlegala82 said:

Hewo 

I guess I just want to post here because my little heart keeps getting broken. When I speak with Daddies they ask for open and honest communication so I’m honest. I tell them that I have a grown son with Autism that has taken a lot of my time. I also have a grown kid that is transgender that all I want is respect for them. That goes for both actually.  But don't worry because I just want someone for me. It just pushes them away. But I really don't want to lie to the potential Daddies or get them attached. That's worse getting to be with someone and then they leave.  It just really hurts my heart and makes me wanna give up on searching for a Daddy. 

Well if it pushes them away there not for you anyway and not everyone is like that ethier so hang tough and hopefully you do find what your looking for . Remember don’t take it personally because it reflects more on them