I feel like an ass

[littlegala]

I found a guy and were talking just fine. He even accepted my kids. But last night I realized I don't want a Daddy. Because my son threw a big tantrum and reminded me of how my life is like in reality. Plus I looked in the mirror and saw how heavy I’ve gotten. So I told him I’m not looking for a Daddy or any kind of relationship other than friendship. He sounded upset and I feel like the biggest asshole. But how can I be in a relationship if I don't feel confident enough?  I guess I just want to know if I did the right thing or was I coward by ending it?

[LittleBiscut]

I think you should only go into dynamics when your ready, you did the right thing ❤️❤️❤️

[redruffle41]

No you were brave. It would have been brave to share all that with a good guy who was willing to be there for you. You could have given him a shot and seen how he handled the real you. You're brave no matter what that's how i see it. Maybe work on getting ready. Or set a limit and keep home life and your kids out of a DDlg dynamic. You're not bad. Just human.

[beanbean]

46 minutes ago, littlegala82 said:

I found a guy and were talking just fine. He even accepted my kids. But last night I realized I don't want a Daddy. Because my son threw a big tantrum and reminded me of how my life is like in reality. Plus I looked in the mirror and saw how heavy I’ve gotten. So I told him I’m not looking for a Daddy or any kind of relationship other than friendship. He sounded upset and I feel like the biggest asshole. But how can I be in a relationship if I don't feel confident enough?  I guess I just want to know if I did the right thing or was I coward by ending it?

I think you did the right thing for sure it would have been worse if you waited just cause you didn’t want to hurt him 

[littlegala]

2 hours ago, LittleBiscut said:

I think you should only go into dynamics when your ready, you did the right thing ❤️❤️❤️

You’re absolutely right. Thank you. 

[littlegala]

2 hours ago, redruffle41 said:

No you were brave. It would have been brave to share all that with a good guy who was willing to be there for you. You could have given him a shot and seen how he handled the real you. You're brave no matter what that's how i see it. Maybe work on getting ready. Or set a limit and keep home life and your kids out of a DDlg dynamic. You're not bad. Just human.

Thank you. I’m trying to work on myself and my life. I just need to be alone for a while. Then I’ll be back ready to have someone else in my life. 

[littlegala]

2 hours ago, beanbean said:

I think you did the right thing for sure it would have been worse if you waited just cause you didn’t want to hurt him 

Thank you. Yeah that's how I saw it too. Still hurt me to do it. I know how much it hurts to be rejected. 

[beanbean]

1 hour ago, littlegala82 said:

Thank you. Yeah that's how I saw it too. Still hurt me to do it. I know how much it hurts to be rejected. 

It’s does hurt but it’s also hard when we are strung along 

[littlegala]

31 minutes ago, beanbean said:

It’s does hurt but it’s also hard when we are strung along 

You’re right.

[MissAnna]

Healing takes time, you are not a coward nor are you bad. 

You have been hurt in the past and it triggers you that everyone will hurt you as well. It's a normal response to trauma, also don't look in the mirror and think bad thoughts. 

Instead look in the mirror and remind yourself how much you have overcome in your life. 

[littlegala]

3 minutes ago, MissAnna said:

Healing takes time, you are not a coward nor are you bad. 

You have been hurt in the past and it triggers you that everyone will hurt you as well. It's a normal response to trauma, also don't look in the mirror and think bad thoughts. 

Instead look in the mirror and remind yourself how much you have overcome in your life. 

I don’t know why I say such stupid things. I’m just insecure and need to be nicer to myself. 

[MissAnna]

I don't think you say stupid things and we all need to be nicer to ourselves 

It just takes time for our wounds to heal 

[BabyPoppy]

It is ok to feel overwhelmed about your son and your life. It sounds like a lot! I'm so sirry you are struggling! If you are not ready fir a Daddy, that's ok too. Being honest is best. 

Please hear me carefully when I say this next part. 

11 hours ago, littlegala82 said:

Plus I looked in the mirror and saw how heavy I’ve gotten

Sweet, dear, little friend, I am a little, a very baby little, but I am not small in size sweetheart.  I'm not sure what you look like, but us littles are not little because we and physically small (some are, but not all). And most of us who stick around are not very young either... real life I'm 45 (hehehe I am 4 and 5 get it!) 

At the heart of who I really am is a sweet baby girl sometimes I'm 3 and sometimes I'm a baby, and sometimes I get in trouble coz I'm mean to myself too and say unkind things, but my Daddy cares and fixes it. Good Daddies are Caregivers first. They want the best for us, not for us to be sad or hurting. If you want to work on your weight ask your daddy for some rules about healthy eating, exercise, sleep routine. 

I'm a single mother, so I ask for rules that fit around my parenting schedule.  There's no shame here. We accept who you are. You are seen. You are heard and you are important,  sweet,  dear little friend💕.

[beanbean]

58 minutes ago, littlegala82 said:

I don’t know why I say such stupid things. I’m just insecure and need to be nicer to myself. 

I don’t think it’s a stupid thing and we all need to be nicer to ourselves 

[littlegala]

10 hours ago, BabyPoppy said:

It is ok to feel overwhelmed about your son and your life. It sounds like a lot! I'm so sirry you are struggling! If you are not ready fir a Daddy, that's ok too. Being honest is best. 

Please hear me carefully when I say this next part. 

Sweet, dear, little friend, I am a little, a very baby little, but I am not small in size sweetheart.  I'm not sure what you look like, but us littles are not little because we and physically small (some are, but not all). And most of us who stick around are not very young either... real life I'm 45 (hehehe I am 4 and 5 get it!) 

At the heart of who I really am is a sweet baby girl sometimes I'm 3 and sometimes I'm a baby, and sometimes I get in trouble coz I'm mean to myself too and say unkind things, but my Daddy cares and fixes it. Good Daddies are Caregivers first. They want the best for us, not for us to be sad or hurting. If you want to work on your weight ask your daddy for some rules about healthy eating, exercise, sleep routine. 

I'm a single mother, so I ask for rules that fit around my parenting schedule.  There's no shame here. We accept who you are. You are seen. You are heard and you are important,  sweet,  dear little friend💕.

That's really sweet. 🥰 Thank you ❤️

[BabyPoppy]

22 minutes ago, littlegala82 said:

That's really sweet. 🥰 Thank you ❤️

Any time... that's what friends are for... we love you no matter what.🫂

[MasterPhotog]

On 5/14/2025 at 9:53 AM, littlegala said:

I found a guy and were talking just fine. He even accepted my kids. But last night I realized I don't want a Daddy. Because my son threw a big tantrum and reminded me of how my life is like in reality. Plus I looked in the mirror and saw how heavy I’ve gotten. So I told him I’m not looking for a Daddy or any kind of relationship other than friendship. He sounded upset and I feel like the biggest asshole. But how can I be in a relationship if I don't feel confident enough?  I guess I just want to know if I did the right thing or was I coward by ending it?

@littlegala,

 @littlegala  First of all, you're not an asshole, and definitely not a coward. What you did took a lot of courage and self-awareness. It’s okay to recognize that you're not in a place emotionally or mentally to be in a relationship right now. That doesn't make you selfish—it makes you honest, both with yourself and with him.

Parenting is incredibly hard, and it sounds like you're doing your best to juggle a lot. Feeling overwhelmed or insecure at times is totally normal. It’s okay to step back and prioritize your own well-being and your kids. You made a choice that’s right for you in this moment, and that’s something to be proud of.

If he's upset, that's understandable—feelings are complicated. But that doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It’s better to be upfront now than to stay in something that doesn’t feel right and risk hurting both of you more down the line.

You did the right thing by honoring your truth. Continue being kind and loving to yourself—you’re doing just fine.  It's time to feel proud of yourself!❤️

[Flower_Dragon]

On 5/14/2025 at 8:53 AM, littlegala said:

I found a guy and were talking just fine. He even accepted my kids. But last night I realized I don't want a Daddy. Because my son threw a big tantrum and reminded me of how my life is like in reality. Plus I looked in the mirror and saw how heavy I’ve gotten. So I told him I’m not looking for a Daddy or any kind of relationship other than friendship. He sounded upset and I feel like the biggest asshole. But how can I be in a relationship if I don't feel confident enough?  I guess I just want to know if I did the right thing or was I coward by ending it?

I think it was just a knee jerk reaction that snowballed, honestly.  I've had knee jerk reactions to things too, I think most people have.  And I'm not the type to say you can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself first, because that's bullshit.  However, I do think, loving yourself helps in those moments that might otherwise cause those knee jerk reactions to snowball into a decision.  No matter what you decide you should give yourself the time and space to think it through.  

And this isn't just about wanting or not wanting a Daddy.  This about you and what's important to you.  You deserve to be important to yourself.  You deserve to have people in your life that you're important to and that are important to you.  You deserve to be loved and cared for, especially by yourself.  You deserve to be loved by yourself.  

I don't think you're a coward, I think you're tired.  And of all the things you deserve, rest and healing are two of them.