I'm a perpetual failure and disappointment. (Trigger warning)

[kuuchan]

adhd is ruining my life.

i'm depressed and i feel worthless.

I just refunded all my art commissions cus i suck, my work is not worth anything and i don't deserve to take anyone's money

now i have no money, and i feel like fraud. a terrible fucking failure. i'm so fucking angry i can't control my emotions.

i ended up cutting. i'm kinda pathetic.

[beanbean]

2 hours ago, kuuchan said:

adhd is ruining my life.

i'm depressed and i feel worthless.

I just refunded all my art commissions cus i suck, my work is not worth anything and i don't deserve to take anyone's money

now i have no money, and i feel like fraud. a terrible fucking failure. i'm so fucking angry i can't control my emotions.

i ended up cutting. i'm kinda pathetic.

Your not pathetic at all just need a reset your expectations , sometimes we expect too much too quickly 

[Dangerously_Well]

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time. It sounds like you're in a lot of pain, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and angry.

ADHD can definitely make life feel incredibly challenging, and when that's compounded with depression and feelings of worthlessness, it can be unbearable. Please know that you're not alone in feeling this way, and your struggles are valid.

It's heartbreaking to hear that you refunded your art commissions and are feeling like a fraud. Your art has value, and you deserve to be compensated for your work. Don't let those negative thoughts convince you otherwise.

And please, please know you are not pathetic. You are a person in pain, and you deserve help and support.

If you would like a friend to chat to, please reach out.

[Flower_Dragon]

Hmm.  Ok, so I don't have ADHD, but I have autism.  I've also never cut, but I used pick at my skin a lot.  Particularly when I was anxious.  I've also had real deep like, where are the nearest train tracks level depression.  

And through everything I've learned, you're never as pathetic as your brain tells you that you are.  You're never as bad as your brain tells you that are.  

And I do say this as someone who's been in a similar place.  You're smarter, kinder, more capable, and more in control than your brain tells you.  

Sometimes your brain is just a bitchy liar.  And that sucks.  It sucks bad.  But I promise you're better than you think you are.  I would bet money on it.

Also, every single one of those people like your art so much that they commissioned you.  That's an accomplishment.  Something to be proud of.

I see you, I hear you, you're valid, and I love you. 💖

[MasterPhotog]

On 5/14/2025 at 12:26 PM, kuuchan said:

adhd is ruining my life.

i'm depressed and i feel worthless.

I just refunded all my art commissions cus i suck, my work is not worth anything and i don't deserve to take anyone's money

now i have no money, and i feel like fraud. a terrible fucking failure. i'm so fucking angry i can't control my emotions.

i ended up cutting. i'm kinda pathetic.

@kuuchan, really sorry you're feeling this way. I just want you to know that you're not alone—and you're not a failure or pathetic. ADHD can be incredibly tough to live with, especially when it affects things you care deeply about, like your art. But struggling doesn’t mean you’re worthless. It means you’re human, and you’re dealing with something genuinely hard.

Refunding commissions doesn’t mean your art isn't good. It just means you hit a rough patch—and that happens to everyone, with ADHD or not. Your decision shows honesty and care, not fraud. That takes strength.

Please be gentle with yourself. Hurting yourself won't solve what you're going through—you deserve help, and there is help out there. Whether it’s a trusted friend, therapist, or support group, reaching out is worth it.

Even if it feels that way right now, you’re not alone in this. The fact that you’re here and expressing how you feel is a big deal. That matters. You matter.

Please take care of yourself. Things can get better, one small step at a time. ❤️

[BabyPoppy]

On 5/14/2025 at 11:26 AM, kuuchan said:

adhd is ruining my life.

i'm depressed and i feel worthless.

I just refunded all my art commissions cus i suck, my work is not worth anything and i don't deserve to take anyone's money

now i have no money, and i feel like fraud. a terrible fucking failure. i'm so fucking angry i can't control my emotions.

i ended up cutting. i'm kinda pathetic.

I have ADHD too... I feel so overwhelmed some days I actually close my bedroom door and scream in my pillow or say naughty words at my computer or sit in the car with the engine off and cry coz no one can hear me... my brain goes faster and to strange places that other people's brains and they just don't understand,  but it makes me creative and smart and silly and usually a lot of fun to be around....

it's been a really long time since I was in a place of hurting emotionally like you are right now, I didn’t cut, but I did other things to harm myself... 

I have no special words or ideas to help, but I'm  here today. I made it through. I stopped listening to that voice telling me I wasn't good enough because I found people who saw me for who I was and believed in me. They encouraged me to see myself as they see me. So, @kuuchan dear sweet artist that you are I am here, holding my hand out in friendship saying... will you be my friend? 

[kuuchan]

On 5/14/2025 at 9:30 PM, beanbean said:

Your not pathetic at all just need a reset your expectations , sometimes we expect too much too quickly 

 

On 5/17/2025 at 4:59 PM, Dangerously_Well said:

And please, please know you are not pathetic. You are a person in pain, and you deserve help and support.

 

On 5/18/2025 at 3:19 AM, Flower_Dragon said:

I see you, I hear you, you're valid, and I love you. 💖

 

5 hours ago, MasterPhotog said:

Please take care of yourself. Things can get better, one small step at a time. ❤️

 

1 hour ago, BabyPoppy said:

I have no special words or ideas to help, but I'm  here today. I made it through. I stopped listening to that voice telling me I wasn't good enough because I found people who saw me for who I was and believed in me.

Sorry it took me a while, but i feel like my mind is stabilizing slightly. Thank you all for taking the time for replying to post. It means a lot to me and while i'm still in a depressed mindset, i'll do my best to get back up. ❤️

(also babypoppy, i sent you a follow request<3)

[Flower_Dragon]

Thanks for staying.  The world's better because you're in it.  ❤️  You'll get through this.

[Daddy Bear 77]

On 5/14/2025 at 12:26 PM, kuuchan said:

adhd is ruining my life.

i'm depressed and i feel worthless.

I just refunded all my art commissions cus i suck, my work is not worth anything and i don't deserve to take anyone's money

now i have no money, and i feel like fraud. a terrible fucking failure. i'm so fucking angry i can't control my emotions.

i ended up cutting. i'm kinda pathetic.

I have ADHD too and so did my exlittle. It's very tough to live with and I understand your suffering. You can do it though, CBT can help and if you need a accountability buddy let's us help you out. 

[Daddy Bear 77]

If you have Finch it has helped me a lot too. I have a few friends from here on there as well. 

[kuuchan]

7 hours ago, Daddy Bear 77 said:

If you have Finch it has helped me a lot too.

what is that? 

[Daddy Bear 77]

3 hours ago, kuuchan said:

what is that? 

Here's my post about it. 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/63225-anyone-use-the-cute-productivity-app-finch/#comment-347835