Trauma Nightmares

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

Hi hi 👋

I'm not asking for advice on how to deal with trauma nightmares, as I'm pretty far along with my recovery. But I'd still like a show of hands by anybody who's currently suffering or has suffered with them.

Sometimes it's nice to see that you're not alone, even if you know you're not alone.

Also, I'm not asking anyone to vent their trauma in here. So sharing what your nightmares are about isn't necessary. But just in case someone wants to share, please add a disclaimer trigger warning before it, so we can avoid accidentally triggering others.

I hope you're doing well~ please know that you are not alone, if you're experiencing this.

[BabyPoppy]

I struggle with these, especially when I have a lot of stress in my life... so they come and go frequently... One thing I was told to do was journal to clear my mind, but I found journaling sometimes stirs the pot emotionally, so to speak. So I do a gratitude list at night and in the morning.  I journal about stress and therapy assignments during the day when the sun is out and I can take time to recover and find myself back... similar to a deep dive in littlespace... I wanna be me before I try to sleep or I struggle with nightmares and bad sleep. My bedtime routine is very important to a good night's rest and timing is everything.  

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@BabyPoppy That's exactly why I've never particularly liked journaling. I feel like I'm dwelling on all of the negative stuff. But a gratitude list sounds way better to end the day with, than regular journaling of feelings. One thing I was suggested in a group therapy session, was to use my creative writing hobby to explore the feelings of the day. Basically to do in-character journaling. I find the concept interesting, but haven't tried this form of journaling just yet. I don't have too much of a real bedtime routine, but I do have a nightly routine for my night meds. Though I do attempt to get proper amounts of sleep, even without a true routine. 

[MissAnna]

3 hours ago, .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ said:

Hi hi 👋

I'm not asking for advice on how to deal with trauma nightmares, as I'm pretty far along with my recovery. But I'd still like a show of hands by anybody who's currently suffering or has suffered with them.

Sometimes it's nice to see that you're not alone, even if you know you're not alone.

Also, I'm not asking anyone to vent their trauma in here. So sharing what your nightmares are about isn't necessary. But just in case someone wants to share, please add a disclaimer trigger warning before it, so we can avoid accidentally triggering others.

I hope you're doing well~ please know that you are not alone, if you're experiencing this.

I have the same nightmares almost every week, you aren't alone

They feel so real and it's as if you are back in that same place unable to leave. 

One day we can all be free from all of our fears, until that day comes we will rely on those sweet friendships around us. 

I love the idea of your new club 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@MissAnna

I know I'm not alone, but sometimes seeing is believing! And you're right, all of them are so vivid and wildly attached to the world around us. I hope to one day be completely free, but until then, I'll keep fighting! And thank you. I've learned that group therapy can be a valuable asset in the recovery process and since a lot of us Littles (caregivers can have trauma too) have some form of trauma, it only makes sense to me to have this sort of group. 

Edited May 24 by .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ

[BabyPoppy]

I struggle a lot too! Some days are worse than others. Some weeks are so bad I don't sleep and others I don't have any nightmares at all. Here are some things I know. 

A friend recently recommended drawing in my journals and that has been incredibly helpful, too. I have used creative storytelling in the past but then get really embarrassed when I share the story. People often don't believe I have experienced the things I have, and I feel shame and guilt from my experiences, which compounds the feelings I am trying to express. My favorite activity in a group therapy session was art therapy when I had to be quiet and process without words. I had to create my emotions visually. I would go home so exhausted from those sessions. Completely drained.

Here's some science about it:  Sometimes when trauma happens (when we are young or vulnerable, or unable to prevent the hurt from happening), it gets stuck in our emotion centers of our brain or even lower in our base brain where we react and logic cannot reach. This is the deepest part of who we are. In that section of our brains, we react on an autonomic level where our hearts race, our breathing increase, our stomachs react in strange ways, and we are ready to fight (protect ourselves), flight (run away), freeze (hide), or faun (suck up to those in control so we minimize the damage to ourselves).  This is the home of nightmares. When our fears and trauma reach this level of damage to who we are, we need the support of trained professionals to guide us through the steps of healing. It can happen when we are young, but it can happen throughout our lives. Witnessing violence, or experiencing violence, prolonged stress, prolonged neglect and an inability to find support when you need it. 

Everyone experiences nightmares from time to time. They are a normal part of being a human, but many people have unresolved trauma that they try to logic away and nightmares are something that comes from a deeper place within us that cannot be reached by logic. Sometimes that can be healed by love, support and kindness, to ourselves. Yes, we need to acknowledge and accept the trauma we experienced through the logical outlets, but we also need to let healing happen in the places that our logic cannot go. Those dark feelings we try to ignore and pretend we don't have. Using art, music, movement (mindful, or trauma-informed yoga) can be beneficial outlets. 

The longer I live and the longer I teach, the more I realize everyone has some trauma or stress that really impacts them and holds them back from the life they could have. My best advice is be little. 🙃 Play kids games, laugh and enjoy the simple things in life. Nightmares happen because of unresolved pain, so counter that pain with happiness, joy, peace, kindness and simplicity. Replace those stressful and painful memories with happy thoughts. Think of the boggart in Harry Potter. Change your fears into something funny!

Try affirmations on the mirror in the morning. 

- I am Brave

-I am Strong

- I am Beautiful

- I am Resilent

- I can make good choices

- I am Competent

- I am Loved

- I am Accepted

- I Belong

- I am Enough

 

Baby Poppy

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

The science behind it all is really interesting. But I've got no words to add, but I do want to say very well written!

I don't think I'd mind sharing my stories if I did. I like to play post by post roleplay, so some of my writing is already available to the public. Not that I think that I'm any good for anything on a serious level, but I do have fun with writing as a hobby sometimes. Say, what if I held a roleplay for creative writing expressions in here? Would anybody be interested?

A separate art and music thread also sounds like a good idea as well! I kind of like the group art I've participated in, but music group was always my favorite. We'd share songs that represented emotions and I found it fun.

[BabyPoppy]

I like the music idea!!!!

[Lil Baby Stoner]

Im still deal with trauma nightmares and even 6 years later they don’t get better just learned to not let it affect me so much and it happened for a reason only thing I hate is no matter what I can still smell the chemicals they use to clean and the smell of blood whenever I have trauma nightmares guess my brain won’t forget that smell 

[BabyPoppy]

3 minutes ago, Lil Baby Stoner said:

Im still deal with trauma nightmares and even 6 years later they don’t get better just learned to not let it affect me so much and it happened for a reason only thing I hate is no matter what I can still smell the chemicals they use to clean and the smell of blood whenever I have trauma nightmares guess my brain won’t forget that smell 

I still smell certain smells too... and it's been decades... I'm so sorry you're going through this. I sleep with the lights on in the house... sometimes it's all the lights, sometimes just the lamp or bathroom light... in my mind it keeps me safe... I don't think it actually helps the nightmares,  but it definitely makes me feel safe.

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@Lil Baby Stoner

I'm sorry to hear this, it sounds like a lot if blood is involved. idk if it will ever go away, but it should get easier to deal with as time goes on. 6 years might seem like a lot, but it really isn't. 

[Lil Baby Stoner]

@.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ I know it wasn’t gonna be easier to deal with sadly as time goes on feels worse but therapist said that normal and learning to be okay with that 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@Lil Baby Stoner Ngl, I'm kind of worried that you're saying it's getting worse as time goes by. It sounds like you've got some unresolved trauma and maybe need more/different treatment to what you're currently getting. If I may speak for myself, I wouldn't just try to learn to deal with it and be okay with what's happened. I'd seek out a different therapist and or maybe get some additional treatment added to my care plan.

[Lil Baby Stoner]

My trauma also involves

Spoiler

death of a child

so that is the part where I have to tell myself it happened for a reason what reason that may be idk 

Edited May 25 by Lil Baby Stoner
Trigger warning

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@Lil Baby Stoner That alarms me even more. Your therapist really isn't helping you get through this until it feels easier for you? I'm so sorry you've gone through such a traumatic event, but even sorrier that you're not getting appropriate treatment for the feels you're going through.

If I may be so bold;

Have you considered refraining your mindset?

Spoiler

I tried to generalize this best I could, as I don't know what you're connection to the child is or other details. I don't want to make too many assumptions or pry further than you're comfortable with. So please bare that in mind as you read.

 

Every living thing eventually crosses over. There is no guaranteed time frame that determines the time length we're here in this plain of existence. Instead of feeling nothing but sorrow, cherish the small things and know that there's no more suffering.

Continue loving the child. Maybe set up an area/alter specifically for the child. Invite all the memories of them into your heart and cherish what little time you had with them.

At some point, you too will pass to the other side. And as long as you've lived your life to the fullest, you'll be able to tell them all about your experiences and how much you've missed sharing things with them.

Loss is never easy, but all loss, including that of a child, should get easier to deal with over time, imho. The rock will never go away, but just as rippling water calms after the rock settles to the bottom, your waters will also have a chance to calm themselves.

But also, I'd seriously consider getting checked for postpartum depression or other mood instability problems. You deserve to feel better and to heal, regardless of your loss.

 

 

[Lil Baby Stoner]

@.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟmy therapist is amazing but she understand this topic is alot for me so we go super slowly and plus I just gave birth almost 8 weeks ago and that whole pregnancy was alot almost didn’t make it so she didn’t wanna get too into that trauma while I’m dealing with possible more trauma baby steps we opened that wound up slowly cause when we do it’s alot for me 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

@Lil Baby Stoner

Well congratulations on the new baby! I can understand wanting to go slow. I do hope it gets better for you. Your child depends on your ability to make clear decisions.

Just so you know, I'm not a mother myself. So I've got very little advice in that area. But I'll still listen to anything you'd like to share.