(Trigger warning)

[Ariguin]

Honestly I'm not sure how to start this

I went on holiday last year to meet family who are very close to me...

I stayed for about a month..

However within the first week..my uncle kept trying to touch me..and it made me really uncomfortable, but i kept quiet about it but he kept at it for the whole week..touching me inappropriately to the point where he cornered me in a room... I don't want tongo into detail about what happened..but I'm sure it's very clear...after that the rest of the 3 weeks were a nightmare for me..I was too scared to be anywhere alone in case he got me again.. 

I felt very hurt and betrayed...

But since then..I've been haunted by nightmares and I'm unable to sleep... I've hurt myself in the past and I somehow forced myself past that..however I feel like I'm spiralling downwards since then.. my anxiety has also gotten worse...

No one knows this though..

I could never have imagined that the person I trusted more than anyone could've done that to me..

I've tried to move past it..but I can't.. It has nearly been a year since then..

My anxiety has started to get worse..and I feel unsafe no matter where I go.. 

Even if I try to distract myself it all comes crashing down on me.. and i don't know what to do..

In fact..it scares me..and I'm terrified since then..to the extent where I start shaking just from thinking about it..

 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. Please know that it's not your fault and what your uncle did is wrong. Also, if you haven't gone out to get professional help yet, I strongly urge you to do so. What happened isn't something you should have to process by yourself, but I also understand if you're not comfortable getting professional help you deserve just yet.

Therapy is a good place to start, and then your therapist can direct you to if you need to get a psychologist or other doctors or not. Or, if your symptoms are strong enough, maybe seeking inpatient treatment is a thing you could consider.

And even further, maybe you could consider legal action once you're more stable. 

 

Edited May 28 by .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ

[MasterPhotog]

45 minutes ago, Ariguin said:

Honestly I'm not sure how to start this

I went on holiday last year to meet family who are very close to me...

I stayed for about a month..

However within the first week..my uncle kept trying to touch me..and it made me really uncomfortable, but i kept quiet about it but he kept at it for the whole week..touching me inappropriately to the point where he cornered me in a room... I don't want tongo into detail about what happened..but I'm sure it's very clear...after that the rest of the 3 weeks were a nightmare for me..I was too scared to be anywhere alone in case he got me again.. 

I felt very hurt and betrayed...

But since then..I've been haunted by nightmares and I'm unable to sleep... I've hurt myself in the past and I somehow forced myself past that..however I feel like I'm spiralling downwards since then.. my anxiety has also gotten worse...

No one knows this though..

I could never have imagined that the person I trusted more than anyone could've done that to me..

I've tried to move past it..but I can't.. It has nearly been a year since then..

My anxiety has started to get worse..and I feel unsafe no matter where I go.. 

Even if I try to distract myself it all comes crashing down on me.. and i don't know what to do..

In fact..it scares me..and I'm terrified since then..to the extent where I start shaking just from thinking about it..

 

@Ariguin Thank you so much for finding the courage to share something so deeply painful. I’m truly sorry that someone you trusted so much hurt you in such a traumatic way. What happened to you was not your fault — you didn’t deserve any of it, and I hope you know that your feelings are completely valid.

It’s heartbreaking to hear what you’ve gone through, especially feeling so alone with the weight of it all for so long. You are incredibly strong, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Surviving that kind of betrayal and still pushing forward — even when things feel like they’re falling apart — shows just how resilient you are.

Please don’t carry this pain on your own. You deserve support, safety, and healing. If you can, I really encourage you to speak to someone you trust — a therapist, a support line, or one of your parents or even just a friend. You don’t have to go through this in silence. There are people out there who care and want to help you feel safe again.

You’re not alone, even though it might feel like it. There is hope, even in the darkest moments — and healing is absolutely possible. Sending you so much love, strength, and comfort. You matter. 💛

[Flower_Dragon]

I agree with @.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ Therapy.  Seriously.  You deserve to feel safe.  And I really don't think this is something you should try to work through alone.  

I'm sure it's scary.  And you might not feel like it, but you're so strong and so brave.  You can definitely get to the other side of this.  You just need help to get there.  And that's ok.  

None of this is your fault.  Not a single second of this is your fault.  You deserve to get the help you need.  I'm proud of you.

[Little Skittles]

"You're not alone" is the biggest understatement of all time. I have never, not ever, met a single female who was not sexually victimized in some way at some point in her life. 

There are too many of us! 

https://www.sakitta.org/survivors/

https://rainn.org/resources

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (4673)

EMDR therapy....  💯 life changer 

EFT Tapping for panic attacks 

Please don't go without help. You need the tools to heal. And remember: You survived. You are a badass. You are safe! 

Take care of you 🖤🖤🖤

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Dangerously_Well]

My heart absolutely breaks reading what you've bravely shared. What you experienced is horrific, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling this way. You are not alone, and this is not your fault.

The betrayal of trust, especially from a family member, is incredibly damaging. It's a profound violation, and the fact that it happened while you were on holiday, a time meant for connection and relaxation, makes it even more cruel.

It is never okay for someone to touch you inappropriately or force you into a situation where you are uncomfortable or harmed. What happened to you was a crime, and your feelings of hurt, betrayal, fear, and feeling unsafe are completely valid responses to such a traumatic event.

It's also incredibly common for survivors of such abuse to experience nightmares, difficulty sleeping, increased anxiety, and the feeling of spiraling downwards. These are not signs of weakness; they are your body and mind reacting to a deeply painful and terrifying experience. The fact that you've managed to force yourself past self-harm in the past shows immense strength, and you're drawing on that strength now even as you struggle.

The fear you describe, the shaking, the feeling of being unsafe no matter where you go – these are all symptoms of trauma, and they are real. It's not something you can just "move past" on your own, and it's not something that time alone will heal.

The fact that you haven't told anyone speaks volumes about the shame and fear that abusers inflict. But please know that you deserve support, healing, and justice.

You are not broken, you are not weak, and you are worthy of every bit of kindness and healing in the world.

While I cannot solve this for you, I want you to know that:

• I believe you.
• What happened to you was wrong.
• You deserve to feel safe.
• You deserve to heal.

It's okay to feel terrified. It's okay to not know what to do. The first step, even if it feels tiny, is acknowledging what happened and reaching out, just like you've done here.

If you are open to it, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. A therapist specializing in trauma (like CPTSD, which often comes from such experiences) can provide a safe, confidential space for you to process what happened, develop coping strategies, and begin to heal. They can also help you navigate the anxiety and sleep disturbances you're experiencing.

You don't have to carry this burden alone. This community is here for you, and while we can't replace professional support, we can offer a compassionate ear and a reminder that you are seen, you are valued, and you are not alone. Please keep reaching out, even if it's just to vent more.