Overwhelmed and exhausted

[BabyPoppy]

I have been struggling to name my feelings the past while and I final found the words.... I feel lonely and jealous.... now hear me out... I feel lonely because I spend a great amount of time bring this happy positive face to the world.  Far too many times in my life I was told that my sadness,  fear, anxiety was too much for those around me to bear and I work very hard at keeping them hidden from others. Those feelings are my private battle. When I do share them, I am always called selfish, insecure, and mean. It is best to just listen to the words people say and walk away quietly when this happens. Since it does always happen, I must be the cause... so I'm in therapy... and the answer was take a break... heal, be gentle to myself. But that's where the jealousy... or maybe envy comes in...

I feel envious of those around me for being able to have friendships, relationships, dynamics, and to work through their problems without this deep pain. Without needing the support of so many professionals to live a healthy life with others supporting them....

I know.... the responses already... it's ok... we all have our own journey... it takes a strong person to get help... there are people who support you... look how far you've come already.... but it doesn't change the situation I am in... it doesn't make it any easier... it doesn't make finding and maintaining friendships any easier... or my walking away any less of a problem... I don't know how to fix this one... and it hurts my heart so much...

[beanbean]

Bone crushing loneliness has been companion of mine on and off for a while and while there is no good way to defeat it we just got to try our best and make what we can out of it and you do a great job of that even though you don’t like to hear that, I get that too though it used to frustrate me to no end when people would try to encourager with generic talking points about how it will all work out in the end . But after a while I realized that they’re just trying to help it that imperfect way people be. Just know I am rooting for yoy

[MissAnna]

Everyone on here has a different walk in their life, everyone on here is facing a battle that you can't see 

Yes, those are the answers most give like myself but why are they given? 

In my case I say the truth from my heart because of what happened to my brother. I cannot and will not let anyone I see on here not know they are loved and they matter.  Because I mean those words, I mean what I say. 

I can't let someone go unseen and unheard because that's not who I am. 

The pain is real, the heartache is real, the problems are real and it's something I wish you or anyone on here had to face. 

But please remember those around you who are trying to cheer you up, are going through a battle you can't see 

There are some who don't know what to say and are trying their best to show you that they care.

And to me that shows that they do see you, because when you are alone in the dark someone will stand beside you with a flashlight helping you find your way out 

Do the words always help? No because sometimes you just want to vent but remember this is a community that wants to help those in need and even if you vent someone will be here to listen.

No one thinks you are selfish or any of those mean things you think of yourself 

We all love you and yes we are here for you, because that's what a family does. We stand behind one another.

Its okay to feel heartbroken, its okay to not be okay. 

Just remember we see you, we value you and we do love you. 

[BabyPoppy]

3 hours ago, beanbean said:

Bone crushing loneliness has been companion of mine on and off for a while and while there is no good way to defeat it we just got to try our best and make what we can out of it and you do a great job of that even though you don’t like to hear that, I get that too though it used to frustrate me to no end when people would try to encourager with generic talking points about how it will all work out in the end . But after a while I realized that they’re just trying to help it that imperfect way people be. Just know I am rooting for yoy

Thanks Bean! 

[BabyPoppy]

1 hour ago, MissAnna said:

Everyone on here has a different walk in their life, everyone on here is facing a battle that you can't see 

Yes, those are the answers most give like myself but why are they given? 

In my case I say the truth from my heart because of what happened to my brother. I cannot and will not let anyone I see on here not know they are loved and they matter.  Because I mean those words, I mean what I say. 

I can't let someone go unseen and unheard because that's not who I am. 

The pain is real, the heartache is real, the problems are real and it's something I wish you or anyone on here had to face. 

But please remember those around you who are trying to cheer you up, are going through a battle you can't see 

There are some who don't know what to say and are trying their best to show you that they care.

And to me that shows that they do see you, because when you are alone in the dark someone will stand beside you with a flashlight helping you find your way out 

Do the words always help? No because sometimes you just want to vent but remember this is a community that wants to help those in need and even if you vent someone will be here to listen.

No one thinks you are selfish or any of those mean things you think of yourself 

We all love you and yes we are here for you, because that's what a family does. We stand behind one another.

Its okay to feel heartbroken, its okay to not be okay. 

Just remember we see you, we value you and we do love you. 

Thanks Anna! 

[MasterPhotog]

@BabyPoppy, Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I want you to know, first and foremost, that I hear you — not just your words, but the weight behind them. Naming those feelings takes so much courage and honesty, and I admire you deeply for being able to do that, especially when you've been told for so long to hide them away.

Feeling lonely while carrying the mask of positivity is such a heavy burden, and it’s so deeply human to crave connection that sees all of you — not just the parts that smile. You are not too much. Your sadness, your fear, your anxiety — they are not weaknesses or flaws, and they never have been. They’re part of your truth, and your truth is valid.

I understand that those “comforting” responses — the ones people often give out of habit — can sometimes feel like they dismiss the real pain you're in. So I won’t say them here. Instead, I just want you to know that you’re not alone, even in that ache of loneliness. Your feelings make sense. It’s okay to feel envious — it means you’re longing for something deeply meaningful: genuine, accepting, and effortless connection. That’s not a bad thing. That’s something beautiful to want.

Therapy isn’t a sign that you’re broken — it’s a sign that you’re trying. And trying while in pain is one of the bravest things a person can do. I don’t have a fix either, and maybe that’s okay for now. Sometimes what we need most is just someone to sit beside us, without trying to make it all better, and say: “I’m here. You matter. You’re not too much. I see you.” And I do.

You’re doing hard, deep work — and that deserves so much compassion. Please keep being gentle with yourself, even when it feels impossible. You are worthy of the kind of love and connection you’re longing for — not someday, not when you're "better" — but right now, just as you are.

[BabyPoppy]

4 hours ago, MasterPhotog said:

@BabyPoppy, Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I want you to know, first and foremost, that I hear you — not just your words, but the weight behind them. Naming those feelings takes so much courage and honesty, and I admire you deeply for being able to do that, especially when you've been told for so long to hide them away.

Feeling lonely while carrying the mask of positivity is such a heavy burden, and it’s so deeply human to crave connection that sees all of you — not just the parts that smile. You are not too much. Your sadness, your fear, your anxiety — they are not weaknesses or flaws, and they never have been. They’re part of your truth, and your truth is valid.

I understand that those “comforting” responses — the ones people often give out of habit — can sometimes feel like they dismiss the real pain you're in. So I won’t say them here. Instead, I just want you to know that you’re not alone, even in that ache of loneliness. Your feelings make sense. It’s okay to feel envious — it means you’re longing for something deeply meaningful: genuine, accepting, and effortless connection. That’s not a bad thing. That’s something beautiful to want.

Therapy isn’t a sign that you’re broken — it’s a sign that you’re trying. And trying while in pain is one of the bravest things a person can do. I don’t have a fix either, and maybe that’s okay for now. Sometimes what we need most is just someone to sit beside us, without trying to make it all better, and say: “I’m here. You matter. You’re not too much. I see you.” And I do.

You’re doing hard, deep work — and that deserves so much compassion. Please keep being gentle with yourself, even when it feels impossible. You are worthy of the kind of love and connection you’re longing for — not someday, not when you're "better" — but right now, just as you are.

Thank you for your kind words. 

[Littleangle4002]

Hey there, 

First of all, I hope you are feeling lot better now. Very reason I replied to this is how much I feel related to your feelings. I know how it is to feels to be anxious, and alone when facing a problem (sometimes with no reason at all) and I could relate to having friends but not best friends that you can share all your worries because you are soo used to bottling up emotions inside you. And I can relate to smiling and pretending everythings OK when I'll literally crumbling inside. On top of that I know who it is to feel neglected and cornered by closest people who labeled me as selfish, mean, when I've being nothing but kind and helpful to them. I have seen how people change from being kindest to meanest in mere seconds just because you didn't act the way they want you to be. 

I'm telling all this to you, just to say you are not alone. They are more people like us every where. So, we can be each other's support system when feeling down. I hope you'll talk to me or anyone from here if you feel down again. Though, I've only been here for a little time, I met soo many kindered souls just in mere hours of time. I was so happy during this time as I was able to talk to lot of people with similar interests without any judgment and or any predatory intentions. 

☺️☺️

[BabyPoppy]

7 hours ago, Littleangle4002 said:

Hey there, 

First of all, I hope you are feeling lot better now. Very reason I replied to this is how much I feel related to your feelings. I know how it is to feels to be anxious, and alone when facing a problem (sometimes with no reason at all) and I could relate to having friends but not best friends that you can share all your worries because you are soo used to bottling up emotions inside you. And I can relate to smiling and pretending everythings OK when I'll literally crumbling inside. On top of that I know who it is to feel neglected and cornered by closest people who labeled me as selfish, mean, when I've being nothing but kind and helpful to them. I have seen how people change from being kindest to meanest in mere seconds just because you didn't act the way they want you to be. 

I'm telling all this to you, just to say you are not alone. They are more people like us every where. So, we can be each other's support system when feeling down. I hope you'll talk to me or anyone from here if you feel down again. Though, I've only been here for a little time, I met soo many kindered souls just in mere hours of time. I was so happy during this time as I was able to talk to lot of people with similar interests without any judgment and or any predatory intentions. 

☺️☺️

Thank you for your supportive words. Yes! This okay us full of friends who take the time to be real and true.  My life can be a lot and I forget to ask for help when I need it. 

Thanks for offering your support!

[Lil_K47]

You’re welcome to message me anytime, morning, noon or night, I’m always happy to listen! I struggle with my own insecurities, I think we all do to some degree or another. 
 

and as I’m sure many before have said,  your putting in the work and making efforts to center and ground yourself, which is so easier said than done!! 
 

there’s about nothing wrong with having the help of multiple professionals! Sometimes an impartial opinion is exactly what we need.

 

4 , close to 5 years ago now,  I took on a roommate who turned out to an alcoholic. I spent two years carting her back and forth to rehab, but she just didn’t truly want to change what she was doing. I came to a point where I had to decide her or me, because her issues were starting to affect my own mental health. But I worried and felt guilty as hell about asking her to move out, because I was like, if she ends up dead it’s going to be my fault for giving up on her!  And you know I still feel bad about it to this day and I often wonder about her. but I stop myself from checking on her because I don’t wanna get sucked back in. She in her late 50’s and has been repeating the same cycle over and over and over again since her early 20s! 
 

now I have supportive in person friends, I dont tend to  share the more intimate aspects of my life with them because I just know they’re just not into my kinks, however they are all very wise on different levels  and I don’t think they’d  actually judge me if I did tell them. 

they all supported me and encouraged me to do what I needed to do for myself. Shannon wasn’t family, nor were we friends when she moved in.  Her life was NOT my responsibility!  It was not my responsibility to make sure she cared about her own life. I put in two years of effort into supporting a complete stranger mentally, emotionally, and at the end financially because she could not hold a job down so she was basically living with me for free for the last 2-3 months of our roommate-ship,  let’s call it that. 
 

it took hearing the exact same words from a therapist for me to believe it was ok  to ask her to move out. That it was OK to think of own well being first! 
 

Try not to be too hard on yourself! We are all works in progress in someway or another! You are self-aware and you are trying and that’s what’s important!
 

And it seems like you have surrounded yourself with people who truly care about your well-being and who are willing to listen to you.  so use us as sounding boards! lean on us for emotional support! We are here for you! You ARE loved!! 
 

I enjoy each and every one of your posts on this forum, your one of the ones I look for because of your positive energy! So know you’re making a difference in my life just by being you and by bringing me joy every day! 🥰

~K

 

[BabyPoppy]

35 minutes ago, Lil_K47 said:

You’re welcome to message me anytime, morning, noon or night, I’m always happy to listen! I struggle with my own insecurities, I think we all do to some degree or another. 
 

and as I’m sure many before have said,  your putting in the work and making efforts to center and ground yourself, which is so easier said than done!! 
 

there’s about nothing wrong with having the help of multiple professionals! Sometimes an impartial opinion is exactly what we need.

 

4 , close to 5 years ago now,  I took on a roommate who turned out to an alcoholic. I spent two years carting her back and forth to rehab, but she just didn’t truly want to change what she was doing. I came to a point where I had to decide her or me, because her issues were starting to affect my own mental health. But I worried and felt guilty as hell about asking her to move out, because I was like, if she ends up dead it’s going to be my fault for giving up on her!  And you know I still feel bad about it to this day and I often wonder about her. but I stop myself from checking on her because I don’t wanna get sucked back in. She in her late 50’s and has been repeating the same cycle over and over and over again since her early 20s! 
 

now I have supportive in person friends, I dont tend to  share the more intimate aspects of my life with them because I just know they’re just not into my kinks, however they are all very wise on different levels  and I don’t think they’d  actually judge me if I did tell them. 

they all supported me and encouraged me to do what I needed to do for myself. Shannon wasn’t family, nor were we friends when she moved in.  Her life was NOT my responsibility!  It was not my responsibility to make sure she cared about her own life. I put in two years of effort into supporting a complete stranger mentally, emotionally, and at the end financially because she could not hold a job down so she was basically living with me for free for the last 2-3 months of our roommate-ship,  let’s call it that. 
 

it took hearing the exact same words from a therapist for me to believe it was ok  to ask her to move out. That it was OK to think of own well being first! 
 

Try not to be too hard on yourself! We are all works in progress in someway or another! You are self-aware and you are trying and that’s what’s important!
 

And it seems like you have surrounded yourself with people who truly care about your well-being and who are willing to listen to you.  so use us as sounding boards! lean on us for emotional support! We are here for you! You ARE loved!! 
 

I enjoy each and every one of your posts on this forum, your one of the ones I look for because of your positive energy! So know you’re making a difference in my life just by being you and by bringing me joy every day! 🥰

~K

 

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement... it means a lot!