Am I wrong to feel like this?

[SweetLittleDreamer]

I don’t know if this really fits here but I really just need to know if I’m wrong or not. I sometimes have a hard time knowing if how I’m feeling is how I should be feeling. 
 

A few years ago my sisters 2 dogs unprovoked attacked my dog, my dog was terrified he pancaked to the floor and whimpered not once fighting back. I did what I know you’re not meant to do and shoved my hands and myself between them pulling my dog out and running to another room my dog cowering in my arms. 
his been left with sever trust issues with other dogs, goes into defence mode when he sees a dog through the window. He never attacks or anything just bares his teeth and gets loud in barking… anyway… my sister with out asking just brought her now one dog (part of the attack) to stay at our house for a while and I’m absolutely furious about it. She’s only just got here and my dog is already freaking out. 
At present there is no time frame that she is going to be here so my dog and I face an undetermined amount of time locked in my room. Which is why I’ve been so thoroughly stress cleaning it. I want to make a space for him that he can curl up in and feel safe. He already kind of had one but now I want to make it as big and as comfy and as safe as possible. 

my sister is also acting like I shouldn’t be mad and that I’m wrong for refusing every time she asks if they can have time interacting. 
She keeps acting like I should get over the attack and be over joyed that her dog who is known to be aggressive (not just to my dog or even just other dogs) is here. 

anyway, am I wrong for being incredibly angry about this?, it genuinely took a lot of convincing for me not to have packed up and taken my dog elsewhere, given the only elsewhere was my car. My dog is my everything, for a long time he was the only one I could count on. I just feel like I’m letting him down not being able to do anything to get us out of here. 

[MissAnna]

34 minutes ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

I don’t know if this really fits here but I really just need to know if I’m wrong or not. I sometimes have a hard time knowing if how I’m feeling is how I should be feeling. 
 

A few years ago my sisters 2 dogs unprovoked attacked my dog, my dog was terrified he pancaked to the floor and whimpered not once fighting back. I did what I know you’re not meant to do and shoved my hands and myself between them pulling my dog out and running to another room my dog cowering in my arms. 
his been left with sever trust issues with other dogs, goes into defence mode when he sees a dog through the window. He never attacks or anything just bares his teeth and gets loud in barking… anyway… my sister with out asking just brought her now one dog (part of the attack) to stay at our house for a while and I’m absolutely furious about it. She’s only just got here and my dog is already freaking out. 
At present there is no time frame that she is going to be here so my dog and I face an undetermined amount of time locked in my room. Which is why I’ve been so thoroughly stress cleaning it. I want to make a space for him that he can curl up in and feel safe. He already kind of had one but now I want to make it as big and as comfy and as safe as possible. 

my sister is also acting like I shouldn’t be mad and that I’m wrong for refusing every time she asks if they can have time interacting. 
She keeps acting like I should get over the attack and be over joyed that her dog who is known to be aggressive (not just to my dog or even just other dogs) is here. 

anyway, am I wrong for being incredibly angry about this?, it genuinely took a lot of convincing for me not to have packed up and taken my dog elsewhere, given the only elsewhere was my car. My dog is my everything, for a long time he was the only one I could count on. I just feel like I’m letting him down not being able to do anything to get us out of here. 

No, having an aggressive dog is something that can be harmful for everyone.  Aggression can be taught out of a dog though it can take time.

You aren't letting him down, he loves you and needs you just as much as you do him. 

I'm sorry you are having to go through this, boundaries are so important and sometimes people don't understand them nor do they respect them. 

Don't live in your car dreamer, that's dangerous so let's stay clear from that idea okay? It would be dangerous and extremely harmful for you both because it's winter time where you live. 

Now with that being said, you are doing everything you can, he is safe, your sister is just well being well not nice. 

Take a deep breath and know it's going to be okay, you aren't a bad person and you are everything to that little puppy he loves you. And you are an phenomenal mum to him, I promise.

You aren't in the wrong so don't think you are

[SweetLittleDreamer]

6 minutes ago, MissAnna said:

No, having an aggressive dog is something that can be harmful for everyone.  Aggression can be taught out of a dog though it can take time.

You aren't letting him down, he loves you and needs you just as much as you do him. 

I'm sorry you are having to go through this, boundaries are so important and sometimes people don't understand them nor do they respect them. 

Don't live in your car dreamer, that's dangerous so let's stay clear from that idea okay? It would be dangerous and extremely harmful for you both because it's winter time where you live. 

Now with that being said, you are doing everything you can, he is safe, your sister is just well being well not nice. 

Take a deep breath and know it's going to be okay, you aren't a bad person and you are everything to that little puppy he loves you. And you are an phenomenal mum to him, I promise.

You aren't in the wrong so don't think you are

Thanks sissy. I just hate seeing him so freaked out. He shouldn’t be freaking out in his own home & the people I live with should not be so ok with him being so freaked out. 

[MissAnna]

14 minutes ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

Thanks sissy. I just hate seeing him so freaked out. He shouldn’t be freaking out in his own home & the people I live with should not be so ok with him being so freaked out. 

They should be but sometimes family members are the worst when it comes to boundaries, harm and damage to us 

Just take care of you two the rest will follow I promise 

[Lil_K47]

oh sweetheart I'm so sorry you're going through all this! Trust me when I say I know how very difficult that situation can be!

I have two dogs now,  I used to have three. And the three of them got into a fight, no idea what caused it doesn't even matter now. 

The third dog, I rehomed and I felt incredibly guilty about it. But it was one of those things, last one in, first one out. And she went to a great home.

I recently just had a situation occur where my girl got attacked. And I don't know who did it. I don't know if it was my other dog, I don't know if it was a groundhog or a raccoon, because unfortunately it happened when I was napping and I didn't see any of it go down. As of right now Sandy isn't acting terrified of my other dog, and she's not shown any aggression, so I'm trying not to stress myself out over it. And I'm just watching them like a hawk right now. 

You have the right to protect your dog. You both deserve to feel safe in your own home. Frankly I think it's very disrespectful of your sister to bring her dog there knowing how you feel, because that's not just something that you "get over"! That was a traumatic experience for both you and your dog!  frankly I'm disappointed in your family  who you're living with that they would allow her to bring the dog over knowing that that happened. 

I know you don't have options to go anywhere else, and honey staying in your car is definitely not an option so don't even think about that! All you can do is make you and your dog is safe as you can. If no one is going to ask your sister to remove the dog take it back home or take it to somebody else to be watched, then you just have to do the best that you can. I know it sucks for you both to be staying in your room all the time, but if that's the only option you have then that's what you do, make it work.  take her for frequent walks to get out of the house. Or you know if you have another friend go do some visiting as much as you can and take your dog with you.

If you think your family would listen,  maybe sit down and have a very frank conversation with them.  being like hey this is my home,  she doesnt live here,  I do. Tell them you don't feel safe with her dog there.  tell them exactly how you feel, I know that's a hard conversation to have but they need to know! 

If you need anyone to talk to, reach out anytime you know I'm always up late! 

Hang in there sweet girl sending lots of hugs! 

 

[SweetLittleDreamer]

9 hours ago, Lil_K47 said:

oh sweetheart I'm so sorry you're going through all this! Trust me when I say I know how very difficult that situation can be!

I have two dogs now,  I used to have three. And the three of them got into a fight, no idea what caused it doesn't even matter now. 

The third dog, I rehomed and I felt incredibly guilty about it. But it was one of those things, last one in, first one out. And she went to a great home.

I recently just had a situation occur where my girl got attacked. And I don't know who did it. I don't know if it was my other dog, I don't know if it was a groundhog or a raccoon, because unfortunately it happened when I was napping and I didn't see any of it go down. As of right now Sandy isn't acting terrified of my other dog, and she's not shown any aggression, so I'm trying not to stress myself out over it. And I'm just watching them like a hawk right now. 

You have the right to protect your dog. You both deserve to feel safe in your own home. Frankly I think it's very disrespectful of your sister to bring her dog there knowing how you feel, because that's not just something that you "get over"! That was a traumatic experience for both you and your dog!  frankly I'm disappointed in your family  who you're living with that they would allow her to bring the dog over knowing that that happened. 

I know you don't have options to go anywhere else, and honey staying in your car is definitely not an option so don't even think about that! All you can do is make you and your dog is safe as you can. If no one is going to ask your sister to remove the dog take it back home or take it to somebody else to be watched, then you just have to do the best that you can. I know it sucks for you both to be staying in your room all the time, but if that's the only option you have then that's what you do, make it work.  take her for frequent walks to get out of the house. Or you know if you have another friend go do some visiting as much as you can and take your dog with you.

If you think your family would listen,  maybe sit down and have a very frank conversation with them.  being like hey this is my home,  she doesnt live here,  I do. Tell them you don't feel safe with her dog there.  tell them exactly how you feel, I know that's a hard conversation to have but they need to know! 

If you need anyone to talk to, reach out anytime you know I'm always up late! 

Hang in there sweet girl sending lots of hugs! 

 

Ahhh I thought I replied to you ages ago! 
 

things with my family.. especially the family I live with as a soap opera all of its own… let’s just say there’s a reason I believe that the saying “you can’t choose your family” is a steaming pile of stinky horse poop. 
 

my sister lives with me, her dog with her ex, she’s lived hear 3 years with out her.. & I’m scared that this dog is going to be just like her and be just here for a little while but never actually leave. 
 

Unfortunately I don’t have anywhere I can go and take him. Everyone I know has dogs that he hasn’t meet or they don’t have a safe space to take him (no safe outdoor area, leaves unsafe food everywhere etc) 

[Lil_K47]

really sorry hon, I wish I had some better suggestions for you! 

family can be complicated. 

Could possibly move out being an option eventually? Maybe trying to find a roommate to help share expenses with?