A Little with Internal-CG as a Means to Cope

[Sunshin3]

 

I wanna know if some of y'all have thought of or are using an (IFS) Internal Family System (or something close to it) as a way to cope without having an actual caregiver. Like having a mature presence in your mind, a fleshed out one that acts as a caregiver to your younger part of your self? 

 

This have been the case for me for years (and I'm talking more than a decade) although the mature/CG part of my psyche isn't perfect, they took their role seriously and have helped me in soothing myself for years. (Using They to refer to my Internal CG)

 

How they came to be isn't something that I could explain clearly as they came out of nowhere after a traumatic event. I think they developed naturally rather than me being consciously/intentionally making a "Caregiver" part of me. Personally though? I think everyone has a mature "part" of themselves in their brain. It just depends on how active they are in your life and psyche. 

 

I get to have a Caregiver that's curated for ME and my needs which helped me lots in navigating life as a whole(which I do talk to, sometimes verbally or through writing letters to them—which may sound crazy but it did help me greatly in maintaining stability. Stability is something that is a luxury for most who went through a very traumatic childhood). They can never replaced an Actual physical CG (someone that you could actually bond with in every sense) but they helped me in the process of getting into any kinds of relationships by discerning the red flags in people I meet and avoiding getting myself (the body and mind) hurt— which little me finds hard because they're too trusting and gullible (ಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ)

 

 

 

I'm opening this discussion in hopes of getting people (who've done something similar or close to) to discuss about it and talk about how our internal caregiver have helped us. Think of it as us honouring our unseen heroes (⁠灬⁠º⁠‿⁠º⁠灬⁠)⁠♡

[NikkiNoo]

This is such an interesting topic!

I've only recently started doing inner child work and reparenting, but I've always had imaginary caregivers in my fantasies. Like, TV or book characters with strong caring and nurturing vibes. I imagine them comforting me, helping me calm down when I'm stressed, and guiding me through difficult situations.

It feels weirdly like I've externalised an internal caregiver by projecting it onto a character. Does that even make sense?!

I'm starting to integrate these characters into my own system by learning that I've always been the one generating these fantasies, and therefore taking care of myself. My therapist calls it my 'wise self,' which I really like.

Thank you for opening up this discussion!

[Sunshin3]

2 hours ago, NikkiNoo said:

This is such an interesting topic!

I've only recently started doing inner child work and reparenting, but I've always had imaginary caregivers in my fantasies. Like, TV or book characters with strong caring and nurturing vibes. I imagine them comforting me, helping me calm down when I'm stressed, and guiding me through difficult situations.

It feels weirdly like I've externalised an internal caregiver by projecting it onto a character. Does that even make sense?!

I'm starting to integrate these characters into my own system by learning that I've always been the one generating these fantasies, and therefore taking care of myself. My therapist calls it my 'wise self,' which I really like.

Thank you for opening up this discussion!

 

This is exactly what I mean!!! And it's so cool that you've externalised them because it makes the self-work easier (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) !! Plus you get to enjoy your favourite characters at the same time

[NikkiNoo]

15 hours ago, Sunshin3 said:

 

This is exactly what I mean!!! And it's so cool that you've externalised them because it makes the self-work easier (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) !! Plus you get to enjoy your favourite characters at the same time

It definitely makes it easier to work on myself. I feel that now I'm more mature, I'm ready to delve into it more deeply. I've been doing a lot of inner child work recently, which has been enormously helpful in identifying the support I lacked as a child and finding ways to meet my own needs as an adult. I'll always love my 'comfort characters,' but they served me better as a child than an adult.