Jump to content

what kind of daddy are you?


Guest starrflower
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest starrflower

So, I am really new at learning about the relationship between daddy and little and I wish I had found this years ago.  I would love to hear the different styles of being a daddy and your experience with it :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bebita_Mia, my little, and I are new to DDlg as a community, so we're exploring. I'm nurturing and supportive of her desires while helping her remain relaxed and stress free throughout her day. We have few rules between us and we are flexible with life events, but work together for a balanced and loving relationship.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 I've only been involved with DD/lg for a year now, so I'm still learning on the fly. I would say at this stage that I'm fairly lenient when it comes to rules, and I'm not big into dealing out a lot of harsh discipline. My main concern as a caregiver is the health and happiness of my little, the kink and funishments are somewhat secondary for me. I really enjoy being a positive force in my little's life, guiding her to make good decisions for herself in life and persuing her dreams. I don't think those core values will change for me, I naturally want to nurture my partner. I enjoy watching my little spread her wings and fly, to take delight in simple things, and to feel a deep sense of self love for herself. 

 

 However, I realize that I still have much exploring and experimentation to do in regards to my dominant side. I'd like to further explore that more primal, animal side to my sexuality. I'd also like to expand upon my kinks and work towards being more comfortable exerting more control as a Dom. I seem to be a bit too lenient at times, and I would really like to get over the Dom drop obstacle. I find it hard often to be as strict as is needed, and sometimes feel hesitant to use harsher punishments. I recognize that I'm still very green and need more experience to continue to grow.

 

 Some things I think are carved in stone for me, though. Even if I had a much more rigid 24/7 D/s styled relationship, hugs, kisses, cuddles, and other forms of affection would still be extremely important to me. That's just how I'm wired, I need affection just as much as most littles do.

 

 Anyhow, that's where I'm at as a Daddy Dom right now :D

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest starrflower

I really love to hear how nurturing daddies are to their littles. And the guidance you give. Both of you are like this. It's nice for a little to feel like she has someone to hold her hand if she needs it.

 

I can see how important it is for a daddy to want affection. Maybe this is why daddies are attracted to littles in the first place. But I know every relationship is unique.

 

The word Dom scared me at first. But I think I have a better idea of what it means in the ddlg community. Thank you for your responses! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am never experienced a ddlg relationship, so this is all theoretical for me right now. I am naturally very nurturing, especially when I feel needed. I want to be able to take care of a little and take control. I know how to make decisions and be a leader. I know how to teach and be dominant. And I want her to feel safe to try new things, be herself, and learn more about herself.

 

With all that said, I think it is important to also have time to learn about the little when she isn't in her little space. I would want to make sure I know as much as I can about her and have that mutual trust and understanding. Consent is big as is communication in all aspects of something like this.

 

So I guess my style would be more taking a step back and getting to know the person as a person before getting to know them as a little. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am an actual father of three amazing children...so, when Princess Katie (DaddyJsPrincess) told me about DD/lg and that she would like to explore it, I just kind of fell right into the role.  It was easy for me.  Having a little is pretty much like having your own child (with OBVIOUS exceptions in some cases). You are there to guide them, teach them and above all else...care for them, physically, emotionally and psychologically.

 

I treat P.K. pretty much how I treat my own children.  She has rules that I expect to be followed...and, if not, there are (usually) consequences.  I say "usually" because, I am a big old softy and her amazing brown eyes are my Achilles' heel. (((***Don't tell HER that though!!!***)))  I am strict when I need to be, but I try to stick more to the loving and nurturing side.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest starrflower

It's nice to know that a daddy is not just in a relationship to be a "daddy" but also a partner.   I can see that daddies have this natural nurturing.  I know that I have this need to be nurturing myself.  I want to care for someone else as well.  Hold my daddy/partner if he needs it.  Let him vent or cry on my shoulder.  

 

 

 

 

So I guess my style would be more taking a step back and getting to know the person as a person before getting to know them as a little. 

this is very cool.   I think I prefer for someone to get to know me as an adult first and go from there.  My whole life I hid this little side because I didn't think a man would want to have a relationship with someone who regressed as much as I do.  But the adult me is just as much here as the little me.  And I definitely want that part of me to be acknowledged.  

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
Well, I always treat my little as a little even when I don't know what a Daddy is or do :) She said that I am kind, lovely, patient, intelligent, intense and etc as I am hard when its necessary. When I know my little I just take her for me. It's was funny, in the third day I notice her that she was mine. It works. In the next day I bought a ring to ask her a date. We are together since then.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest D@ddyDom

NURTURE: Establish an environment in which she can flourish to the best of your abilities, no matter what they are. If I challenge her to take steps out of her comfort zone, I make sure to stand by her side to ensure success.

 

ENCOURAGEMENT: Guide her to try new things or explore the unfamiliar territory. I want to encourage her to experience as much of life as possible.

 

EMOTIONAL SECURITY: I am her ultimate confidant. There is nothing forbidden or taboo when she speaks to me. There is absolute trust and knowledge that I will keep everything confidential.

 

PLAYFULNESS: Life is meant to be fun, and I know my lil loves to have a good time, especially with Daddy. I am frisky, teasing, and enticing.

 

ENFORCEMENT: I set the tone by creating structure and boundaries. My rules are designed to guide and protect. When punishment is necessary it is enforced. I am always fair and consistent with established rules.

 

MENTORSHIP: Once again this leads to growth and development I am a teacher, that will help my little learn more about life and make necessary adjustments to succeed. Her achievement and happiness is my success and happiness.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Great topic starrflower. :)

 

I'm glad the point of getting to know the person as a person/adult has come up. To me it would be plain weird to launch in to a daddy/little dynamic with someone I don't know! For example I'm not on here coming across exactly as I would in a relationship. It would take a long time for me to feel comfortable with expressing the littleness and to be honest I don't know what I'd be like as it would depend on the person.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Great summary D@ddydom, I really like the different points you make and think you address the many different ways in which we Dom's foster a relationship with our littles!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest D@ddyDom

Great summary D@ddydom, I really like the different points you make and think you address the many different ways in which we Dom's foster a relationship with our littles!

Thank you,

 

The relationship is always growing. It doesn't matter how long you have been in the lifestyle there is always more to learn and each dynamic of a lil is different. A great Daddy needs to make adjustments to meet their needs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest starrflower

Great topic starrflower. :)

 

I'm glad the point of getting to know the person as a person/adult has come up. To me it would be plain weird to launch in to a daddy/little dynamic with someone I don't know! For example I'm not on here coming across exactly as I would in a relationship. It would take a long time for me to feel comfortable with expressing the littleness and to be honest I don't know what I'd be like as it would depend on the person.

Yes I agree that it's so important to know someone really well. To start something too quickly seems like false security. And being in little space is such a vulnerable place to be, so there has to be trust and a true bond. I can't believe what an eye opener this forum is. And that ddlg even exists. It's comforting to know that a relationship can exist where a man really understands a woman who goes into little space and how each of us is so unique.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Every little is unique in the same way that every woman is unique. Keeping that in mind helps me as a Daddy to remember to be flexible with her needs and emotional state. When not in little head space she may require more space, more independence, support from a distance. When in little head space she may require more nurturing, patience, and physical contact in my role to support her. Different events and different situations may push and pull her to and from little head space so I feel that it is important to learn your partner's, then your little's, emotional cues so you can be there with what she needs when she needs it.

 

I tend to be a good emotional support Daddy, a solid rock for them to hold on to in this sometimes crazy world. I am very good at dealing with littles when they become fragile or shy and don't easily walk away when my partner or little needs my support, only if she insist that I leave will I go. I will patiently talk and work with them to give them the strength needed to deal with day to day life. I am stubborn and hard headed but I try to show my littles how having someone who will hold them to shield and protect them (figuratively and physically) from as many stressors as I can is an advantage for them. I know they want to learn and grow in the world, but I feel it's my responsibility to provide them with an environment where they are safe, happy, and as little as they want to be.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...