Am I needed? Why am I necessary?

[wackadoodle]

Tw: self depreciating thoughts

So I just vented to a friend and I thought that something I said might help some people:

"I think I just need to keep myself busy and fight the negative thoughts and then maybe just reaffirm to myself why I'm necessary, without thinking of ways I'm useful😭💔because honestly I always feel like I'm not needed if I'm not useful, but that's never really the case. I think people are needed because of the experiences they create and that's not always a subject of usefulness. I mean, for example in terms of romantic relationships, you could be the most useless person on earth. But all the effort you put in trying to pursue someone is attractive and could sway their heart. So hmmm that's more the memories or experiences that person has created, the experience of being loved or pursued. So I just need to think of myself like that somehow💪that I'm needed because I create meaningful experiences. "

 

It's probably, definitely, not the best argument😂😭but I often struggle with feeling like I'm not really needed (because my family and friends don't REALLY need me if I'm being completely honest with myself-which I try to be as often as possible-both parties are pretty self-sufficient and I wouldn't have them any other way, I prefer self-sufficient people), and when I try to argue that I AM needed, it's always about how "useful" I am, but a) that usually doesn't make me feel better because I don't want to be needed for my usefulness😭, although ironically I often try to be as useful as possible for the reason of wanting to be needed and

b) I tend to feel like I'm not all that useful. Because technically most ways that I am useful can easily be attained from another source or person😔💔even knowledge can simply be received from Google, a book or Ai or anywhere to be honest. So in that case, I'm kind fo not all that useful. Or rare or special. 

 

So arguing that I'm useful kiiiiiind of doesn't help me feel like I'm any more necessary. But hmmmm arguing that I am an experience that helps people learn something in some way or other? It kind of helps. It gives me the permission and freedom to feel like I am enough, I don't need to earn love or do anything but be myself. It lets me pave my own path, away from whatever I think would be more beneficial for others around me. 

 

And I really hope this mindset can help others feel better about themselves. We're all just experiences, waiting to happen. Thousands of possibilities of how life could go. And no matter how it goes, somehow it will compound and create this effect where others and ourselves will learn. Maybe some things or choices or traits about ourselves will lead to us and/or others experiencing more difficult things, but it will be a lesson anyways and there are no wrong choices. Just better ones. 

 

I hope this helped you if you read this far and thank you for being you! An amazing person and experience waiting to happen! 😤💪

Aggressively, positively, sending you love, hugs and ladybugs! ❤️✨

[BabyPoppy]

3 hours ago, wackadoodle said:

Tw: self depreciating thoughts

So I just vented to a friend and I thought that something I said might help some people:

"I think I just need to keep myself busy and fight the negative thoughts and then maybe just reaffirm to myself why I'm necessary, without thinking of ways I'm useful😭💔because honestly I always feel like I'm not needed if I'm not useful, but that's never really the case. I think people are needed because of the experiences they create and that's not always a subject of usefulness. I mean, for example in terms of romantic relationships, you could be the most useless person on earth. But all the effort you put in trying to pursue someone is attractive and could sway their heart. So hmmm that's more the memories or experiences that person has created, the experience of being loved or pursued. So I just need to think of myself like that somehow💪that I'm needed because I create meaningful experiences. "

 

It's probably, definitely, not the best argument😂😭but I often struggle with feeling like I'm not really needed (because my family and friends don't REALLY need me if I'm being completely honest with myself-which I try to be as often as possible-both parties are pretty self-sufficient and I wouldn't have them any other way, I prefer self-sufficient people), and when I try to argue that I AM needed, it's always about how "useful" I am, but a) that usually doesn't make me feel better because I don't want to be needed for my usefulness😭, although ironically I often try to be as useful as possible for the reason of wanting to be needed and

b) I tend to feel like I'm not all that useful. Because technically most ways that I am useful can easily be attained from another source or person😔💔even knowledge can simply be received from Google, a book or Ai or anywhere to be honest. So in that case, I'm kind fo not all that useful. Or rare or special. 

 

So arguing that I'm useful kiiiiiind of doesn't help me feel like I'm any more necessary. But hmmmm arguing that I am an experience that helps people learn something in some way or other? It kind of helps. It gives me the permission and freedom to feel like I am enough, I don't need to earn love or do anything but be myself. It lets me pave my own path, away from whatever I think would be more beneficial for others around me. 

 

And I really hope this mindset can help others feel better about themselves. We're all just experiences, waiting to happen. Thousands of possibilities of how life could go. And no matter how it goes, somehow it will compound and create this effect where others and ourselves will learn. Maybe some things or choices or traits about ourselves will lead to us and/or others experiencing more difficult things, but it will be a lesson anyways and there are no wrong choices. Just better ones. 

 

I hope this helped you if you read this far and thank you for being you! An amazing person and experience waiting to happen! 😤💪

Aggressively, positively, sending you love, hugs and ladybugs! ❤️✨

 

I see your struggle and I love you friend! You are not alone in your struggle. Life is hard and finding your place in the world is difficult. 

Being needed and useful is important, but only part of why I love having you as my friend, but most of the reason is because I like knowing I am not alone in this world. That other people have feelings all over the place too. That my life is just as crazy, mixed up, and overwhelming as other people's, but knowing that you accept me helps so much!  You are one of a kind, Wackadoodle! 

Thanks for being so honest and bold!

 

[beanbean]

Remember lots of people don’t get told there needed enough always try to tell a friend why there important. but also know that other people don’t decide your value only should get to do that try not let people have that power over you .but every time you put your need’s below someone else’s your helping someone weather they realize or not