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What to do when Daddy hurts your feelings?


DelilahDream
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Like really REALLY hurts your feelings? Daddy and I are for the most part LD. We talk everyday and stuff but I wanted to find something fun we could do together from a distance since we don't see each other in person very much. I suggested getting a group of our friends together to play an online game we both enjoy. Daddy really loved the idea so I got excited about it. Last night he got a bunch of people to play except... I wasn't invited. :( To make matters worse the people who were supposed to play with him bailed so I offered to play with him instead. He said no. Which would have been fine but a friend of his wanted to play so Daddy played with him after he told me no. I told Daddy that it really hurt my feelings because it was my idea and I really wanted to play with him, he apologized and swears he didn't mean to hurt my feelings or make me feel excluded. He offered to let me play with him and his friend, I felt like I was intruding at that point so I said no. So he said we could play together tonight but honestly I'm kind of put off the whole thing now. :( And maybe I'm being silly but I thought it was something WE would do together and now it feels like he's just saying he'll play with me to be nice. I'm not sure how to tell him that.
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Well from what I can tell you did the right thing by speaking up. "When you rejected my offer, I felt hurt and that hurt my feelings a lot because I wanted to do this" is the perfect response and you can tell that he felt bad about it. He has offered to make amends by bringing you into the game tonight, so I think that while you're right to feeling hurt before, don't let it get to you so deeply that you believe everything he does is just because you're hurt.

 

If anything, just ask him. "I don't really want to play games together if you don't genuinely want to" is a conversation piece. If he says that he does want to genuinely play, then I wouldn't question it further.

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Ouch. *Hugs*

 

I've had similar stuff happen with my Daddy too. The best way to describe it is that he's "unknowingly an asshole" sometimes. I just blame it on his unhealthy and competitive work environment. I tell myself that perfect people don't exist, and that everyone is going hurt my feelings occasionally if I spend a lot of time talking to them.

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Yeah - Nobody is perfect - sometimes we make decisions without thinking/realizing that we may be hurting people we care about.

 

You were right to call him on it, and if it's just one isolated incident then I think you have to forgive him and move on.

 

On the other hand, if he is consistently putting his friends ahead of you, then it's a big problem and you need to talk to him about how you need and deserve to be a priority for him, and how being constantly put behind his friends isn't acceptable.

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I've had very similar situations with my fiance too. we're LD as well and playing games together is something we sometimes do but he always gets into games that I can't really get into and then when I don't wanna play he just goes and plays that game with his little brother instead. which I understand because he lives far away from his brother too and I love his brother like he's also my brother but sometimes I just want me and him to play together. and he sometimes invites other people to play with us and I just want to do something alone with him idk but you're not the only one

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I'm not LD and my Daddy does this sometimes too. I think it's just a thing that will happen sometimes. You were definitely right to say something cause he probably didn't notice that it would hurt you. <3 Just talk to him openly about how it made you feel but don't hold it as a grudge. Being LD you guys have a smaller list of things that can be done together and you shouldn't shrink that list just cause of one incident. :3

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