Finding our people our thing

[Daddy Marc]

Hi all

 

I am new here. I grew up in a very traditional Catholic family in a small town. Which I’m sure is very familiar story to many here. Lots of guilt and shame.
 

like many , I had conformed to the norm relationship. I knew that I liked the idea of dress up and age play from a young age.
 

My ex and I made some testing of the water with school girl outfits, but I knew I was a little kinkier and I didn’t really have the vocabulary to articulate it i didn’t dare say it out loud to anyone. I wonder if people would feel comfortable telling a bit of their back story, when did they accept their true self, how they found their way here, what was their journey along the way. 
 

I would love this to be a positive sharing of stories and supportive to everyone.

 

 

Thanks - Marc 

Edited October 14 by Marc6555
Spelling

[MissAnna]

1 hour ago, Daddy Marc said:

Hi all

 

I am new here. I grew up in a very traditional Catholic family in a small town. Which I’m sure is very familiar story to many here. Lots of guilt and shame.
 

like many , I had conformed to the norm relationship. I knew that I liked the idea of dress up and age play from a young age.
 

My ex and I made some testing of the water with school girl outfits, but I knew I was a little kinkier and I didn’t really have the vocabulary to articulate it i didn’t dare say it out loud to anyone. I wonder if people would feel comfortable telling a bit of their back story, when did they accept their true self, how they found their way here, what was their journey along the way. 
 

I would love this to be a positive sharing of stories and supportive to everyone.

 

 

Thanks - Marc 

So for me I always knew I was different, I wanted to take care of people all the time. I needed and craved someone to take care of. When my ex husband became ill it became something of an obsession if you will. The need to take care of someone filled me with so many desires and needs I never knew I had. 

When I became a GM for a luxury adult business my eyes were opened and I fell in love with being a Mommy Dom. My ex and I divorced not long after and I found a little which made me hooked on being a Mommy Dom. 

 But I soon found out quite quickly how submissive I truly was. The littles I dated and even became engaged to one hated how submissive I was. They would get frustrated because when you have two submissive people who want to be dominated and can't make decisions for themselves, I'm sure you can guess the outcome.

Time moved forward and I hung my hat up and decided I was going to go vanilla. And then I realized vanilla wasn't for me, so I had came to the conclusion I would always be alone. I was okay with that, or so I thought. 

I was online and was searching up cute MDLB and ABDL quotes when I saw the link to this forum. I clicked on it and I felt that I found my home, I found where I belonged. I had found my island of misfit toys like me and I finally felt the feeling of not being alone. 

I came on this forum as a submissive Mommy Dom I had no plan on changing who I was, I mean why would I? Then I met @-Soul- we instantly clicked from the moment we first met. It was like a moth to a flame I knew without a shadow of a doubt I was meant to be his, but of course I fought him tooth and nail. I tried so hard to prove I was just as much as a Dom as him, he proved me wrong lol.

Now fast forward almost 7 months later and we are still going strong, still falling in love with one another more and more. 

Chance lead me to this forum and fate brought the people I love to me. 

[Daddy Marc]

5 minutes ago, MissAnna said:

So for me I always knew I was different, I wanted to take care of people all the time. I needed and craved someone to take care of. When my ex husband became ill it became something of an obsession if you will. The need to take care of someone filled me with so many desires and needs I never knew I had. 

When I became a GM for a luxury adult business my eyes were opened and I fell in love with being a Mommy Dom. My ex and I divorced not long after and I found a little which made me hooked on being a Mommy Dom. 

 But I soon found out quite quickly how submissive I truly was. The littles I dated and even became engaged to one hated how submissive I was. They would get frustrated because when you have two submissive people who want to be dominated and can't make decisions for themselves, I'm sure you can guess the outcome.

Time moved forward and I hung my hat up and decided I was going to go vanilla. And then I realized vanilla wasn't for me, so I had came to the conclusion I would always be alone. I was okay with that, or so I thought. 

I was online and was searching up cute MDLB and ABDL quotes when I saw the link to this forum. I clicked on it and I felt that I found my home, I found where I belonged. I had found my island of misfit toys like me and I finally felt the feeling of not being alone. 

I came on this forum as a submissive Mommy Dom I had no plan on changing who I was, I mean why would I? Then I met @-Soul- we instantly clicked from the moment we first met. It was like a moth to a flame I knew without a shadow of a doubt I was meant to be his, but of course I fought him tooth and nail. I tried so hard to prove I was just as much as a Dom as him, he proved me wrong lol.

Now fast forward almost 7 months later and we are still going strong, still falling in love with one another more and more. 

Chance lead me to this forum and fate brought the people I love to me. 

Thank you for this - and congratulations on your journey/ finding your true match. Such a beautiful story 

[MissAnna]

[MissNMTX]

Unlike @MissAnna I haven't found my partner yet. Honestly, I'm coming to terms that I might never and that's really okay.

However, I know for me I did a ton of research and I mean a TON! The main thing I think is just to be open. Just like Anna's journey demonstrates. Open to self awareness, change, growth, expression, etc. It's all a journey and honestly it's all a surprise as we go along.

[Daddy Marc]

3 minutes ago, MissNMTX said:

Unlike @MissAnna I haven't found my partner yet. Honestly, I'm coming to terms that I might never and that's really okay.

However, I know for me I did a ton of research and I mean a TON! The main thing I think is just to be open. Just like Anna's journey demonstrates. Open to self awareness, change, growth, expression, etc. It's all a journey and honestly it's all a surprise as we go along.

Thanks for this - every one’s journey is different and I do believe that we can all find someone, here or close to here. Believe me I live in Ireland so the pool is smaller. But I live in hope .

 

The time when you start accepting your self, is the first and most liberating part.

[RoseyLittle]

I love how everyone’s journey and process is so unique. For myself, I’ve always known I was drawn to spanking and discipline. I would look up words in the dictionary as a kid and read the definitions over and over. 

I grew up in two very different worlds. My mother came out as lesbian when I was 4 and my siblings and I  began going back and forth to two homes. In my mother’s we went to Pride parades, volunteered at the Aids committee, and had lots of rainbow folks and sex positivity in our world. In my father’s we experienced a lot of trauma and abuse.

This strange mix meant that by the time I was 19 I was aware of fet and leather. But only from the space of gay men. I actually had a conversation with my mum that I thought maybe I was a gay man in the wrong body. *laughs* When she wanted to know why I explained because I was drawn to the fet stuff but that’s only for gay men, she very happily explained that actually it can be for all genders and orientations. I was very lucky to have a mum that was so open. Growing up we always cheered as she walked in the Pride parade, but that year I joined in the fet section of the parade and she cheered on the sidelines. ♥️

I jumped onto fetlife and the local kink community as soon as I was of age. I met my first doms in that space. At first I resonated with discipline doms/spankos. And I loved it because it gives me the structure I crave. And because kinky sex doesn’t hold triggers for me the way “vanilla” does. So it was sexually healing and empowering. But also didn’t feed all of me.

I quickly pulled more into age play but that wasn’t quite right either. However, I could never get the courage to talk to my doms about calling them Daddy and moving more in that direction. My trauma created blocks for me, and I also struggled with internalized stigma. Especially around DDlg or Abdl stuff. I didn’t want to confirm every social trope of “daddy issues”. Especially because as a therapist I am constantly challenging the field to stop likening erotic orientation to trauma!

When I met my Daddy on fetlife, he was the one who was very upfront that he was a Daddy Dom and we began dating. The second I let myself sink into it, it was like coming home. All the pieces clicked together in a way that made much more sense. We’ve been together now over 10 years, married, collared and finding our way through having tiny humans while still holding space for our dynamic. Which has been hard the last two years.

I found my way to this forum as part of a way to connect back to my own littles and make space and time for myself and my Daddy again. And to connect safely to community as I realized I really needed friends and folks who lived this too, and I can’t get that from fetlife (especially with how it’s changed over the years).

[MissAnna]

22 minutes ago, RoseyLittle said:

I love how everyone’s journey and process is so unique. For myself, I’ve always known I was drawn to spanking and discipline. I would look up words in the dictionary as a kid and read the definitions over and over. 

I grew up in two very different worlds. My mother came out as lesbian when I was 4 and my siblings and I  began going back and forth to two homes. In my mother’s we went to Pride parades, volunteered at the Aids committee, and had lots of rainbow folks and sex positivity in our world. In my father’s we experienced a lot of trauma and abuse.

This strange mix meant that by the time I was 19 I was aware of fet and leather. But only from the space of gay men. I actually had a conversation with my mum that I thought maybe I was a gay man in the wrong body. *laughs* When she wanted to know why I explained because I was drawn to the fet stuff but that’s only for gay men, she very happily explained that actually it can be for all genders and orientations. I was very lucky to have a mum that was so open. Growing up we always cheered as she walked in the Pride parade, but that year I joined in the fet section of the parade and she cheered on the sidelines. ♥️

I jumped onto fetlife and the local kink community as soon as I was of age. I met my first doms in that space. At first I resonated with discipline doms/spankos. And I loved it because it gives me the structure I crave. And because kinky sex doesn’t hold triggers for me the way “vanilla” does. So it was sexually healing and empowering. But also didn’t feed all of me.

I quickly pulled more into age play but that wasn’t quite right either. However, I could never get the courage to talk to my doms about calling them Daddy and moving more in that direction. My trauma created blocks for me, and I also struggled with internalized stigma. Especially around DDlg or Abdl stuff. I didn’t want to confirm every social trope of “daddy issues”. Especially because as a therapist I am constantly challenging the field to stop likening erotic orientation to trauma!

When I met my Daddy on fetlife, he was the one who was very upfront that he was a Daddy Dom and we began dating. The second I let myself sink into it, it was like coming home. All the pieces clicked together in a way that made much more sense. We’ve been together now over 10 years, married, collared and finding our way through having tiny humans while still holding space for our dynamic. Which has been hard the last two years.

I found my way to this forum as part of a way to connect back to my own littles and make space and time for myself and my Daddy again. And to connect safely to community as I realized I really needed friends and folks who lived this too, and I can’t get that from fetlife (especially with how it’s changed over the years).

I'm so glad you found your daddy and where you belong 

[Daddy Marc]

3 hours ago, RoseyLittle said:

I love how everyone’s journey and process is so unique. For myself, I’ve always known I was drawn to spanking and discipline. I would look up words in the dictionary as a kid and read the definitions over and over. 

I grew up in two very different worlds. My mother came out as lesbian when I was 4 and my siblings and I  began going back and forth to two homes. In my mother’s we went to Pride parades, volunteered at the Aids committee, and had lots of rainbow folks and sex positivity in our world. In my father’s we experienced a lot of trauma and abuse.

This strange mix meant that by the time I was 19 I was aware of fet and leather. But only from the space of gay men. I actually had a conversation with my mum that I thought maybe I was a gay man in the wrong body. *laughs* When she wanted to know why I explained because I was drawn to the fet stuff but that’s only for gay men, she very happily explained that actually it can be for all genders and orientations. I was very lucky to have a mum that was so open. Growing up we always cheered as she walked in the Pride parade, but that year I joined in the fet section of the parade and she cheered on the sidelines. ♥️

I jumped onto fetlife and the local kink community as soon as I was of age. I met my first doms in that space. At first I resonated with discipline doms/spankos. And I loved it because it gives me the structure I crave. And because kinky sex doesn’t hold triggers for me the way “vanilla” does. So it was sexually healing and empowering. But also didn’t feed all of me.

I quickly pulled more into age play but that wasn’t quite right either. However, I could never get the courage to talk to my doms about calling them Daddy and moving more in that direction. My trauma created blocks for me, and I also struggled with internalized stigma. Especially around DDlg or Abdl stuff. I didn’t want to confirm every social trope of “daddy issues”. Especially because as a therapist I am constantly challenging the field to stop likening erotic orientation to trauma!

When I met my Daddy on fetlife, he was the one who was very upfront that he was a Daddy Dom and we began dating. The second I let myself sink into it, it was like coming home. All the pieces clicked together in a way that made much more sense. We’ve been together now over 10 years, married, collared and finding our way through having tiny humans while still holding space for our dynamic. Which has been hard the last two years.

I found my way to this forum as part of a way to connect back to my own littles and make space and time for myself and my Daddy again. And to connect safely to community as I realized I really needed friends and folks who lived this too, and I can’t get that from fetlife (especially with how it’s changed over the years).

This is such a great story too. Congratulations on finding your daddy. 

[Journey]

I think it comes down to speaking to enough people until you find the one you want to be with. That is what happened to me. Eventually I found the one. And there were other serious contenders too. But before that happened, I got serious about looking for a relationship and I defined exactly what I wanted in a relationship and defined what I didn't want in a relationship. I found her, and then get some unexpected bonuses. And unexpected downsides too. No one is perfect. But we have been married for 20 years, so we must be doing something right. 

[Daddy Marc]

51 minutes ago, Journey said:

I think it comes down to speaking to enough people until you find the one you want to be with. That is what happened to me. Eventually I found the one. And there were other serious contenders too. But before that happened, I got serious about looking for a relationship and I defined exactly what I wanted in a relationship and defined what I didn't want in a relationship. I found her, and then get some unexpected bonuses. And unexpected downsides too. No one is perfect. But we have been married for 20 years, so we must be doing something right. 

That’s brilliant. I think the hardest thing especially if you live in a rural area is to find your people. People who understand you first and don’t think you are weird. Then the mask can come off, the ability to talk about what you want and for it to be mutual. Congratulations on 20 years. That’s such an amazing accomplishment 

[NickyMoon]

5 hours ago, Daddy Marc said:

That’s brilliant. I think the hardest thing especially if you live in a rural area is to find your people. People who understand you first and don’t think you are weird. Then the mask can come off, the ability to talk about what you want and for it to be mutual. Congratulations on 20 years. That’s such an amazing accomplishment 

I very much agree with that. I also live in a rural area and to top it off I am in the bible belt and anything that even remotely has to do with sex is just not discussed. I had to learn almost everything from the internet. When I went to my first dungeon in Atlanta it was such an eye opening experience and I remember talking to EVERYONE that would talk to me just so I could learn as much as I could while I was there. I didn't find out about DDlg until I was in my 30's and had to get past all the assumptions that people make around it to admit that it resonated with me and then I dove in. And I love hearing about people that have been in their relationships for so long. Congratulations to all of you that have found your person and been together for awhile

[Daddy Marc]

Oh same but I haven’t been to any meet ups or met anyone in person who is ddlg. I haven’t learned from on line and very much only now admitting that this is me

[Journey]

For me, I expanded my search beyond my local area and wound up finding someone on the other side of the world. Took awhile to get her fiancée visa, but eventually she came over here. 

[Daddy Marc]

1 hour ago, Journey said:

For me, I expanded my search beyond my local area and wound up finding someone on the other side of the world. Took awhile to get her fiancée visa, but eventually she came over here. 

Once you found the right person that’s all that matters. Delighted for you.

[MissNMTX]

If you live in small rural areas(which surprisingly a great many of us do) you really do have to be willing to expand your search perimeters. Not the absolute core things you're looking for or compromising any absolute deal breakers, but be willing to compromise on location, age, things such as that. You have to be willing to talk to people.

[Daddy Marc]

2 minutes ago, MissNMTX said:

If you live in small rural areas(which surprisingly a great many of us do) you really do have to be willing to expand your search perimeters. Not the absolute core things you're looking for or compromising any absolute deal breakers, but be willing to compromise on location, age, things such as that. You have to be willing to talk to people.

Yes I agree. I work for my self so personally I can and do travel with in Europe. But I am somewhat unable to relocate country. But I have started talking here, spoken by WhatsApp to a local little, I am beyond her age range, which was disappointing but, what here has thought me in a very short time is that I am not alone, I will find my little and I am allowed to find happiness with my little, be it long or short distance.

[NickyMoon]

2 hours ago, Journey said:

For me, I expanded my search beyond my local area and wound up finding someone on the other side of the world. Took awhile to get her fiancée visa, but eventually she came over here. 

That is absolutely what I have been doing. The guy I am talking to right now lives 2300 miles away. It does help that I am very willing to get away from the rural area that I am in though 🤓

[Daddy Marc]

5 minutes ago, NickyMoon said:

That is absolutely what I have been doing. The guy I am talking to right now lives 2300 miles away. It does help that I am very willing to get away from the rural area that I am in though 🤓

Yeah I’m 4000 miles away from Atlanta for example but it won’t stop me looking