I Want to Call Him Daddy… But My Voice Won’t Let Me :(

[marshmalloww]

Hi,

So im going to be very vulnerable here because i hsave something that makes my tummy hurt. 

I have been a little for a while and my Daddy Dom is my husband. I shared in my intro that i ran a little space instagram years ago and stopped because of the growing bullying that was coming from others. 

Because i felt deeply ashamed i pretty much stopped actively being little and would break down in to ugly crying if i did go into little space. 

In thelast couple of months, I finally to get anxiety medication and therapy and wow do i feel like brand new person in so many ways. Thats why i finally made an account after YEARS of visiting this site. I was afraid that I was bad, that you all wouldnt like me or that I was stupid for being in this commeunity. 

As I have been eorking through so much there is something I cant manage and I feel horrible about it. I havent been able to call daddy "Daddy" outloud. It makes me nervous now for some reason. He shared he missed little me so much and has been patiently waiting through my healing and im so greatful but i am scared now to say it for some reason. Hes been sooooo good to me and when we redid out contract a month ago, when we got to that point in what i call him, i panicked a little and he stopped me and said i can call him whatever I feel comfortable with.  

My heart knows he's my daddy, my heart wants to say it but for some reason i just cant . Like it gets trapped in my throat and i end up just yelling "Hiiii" or going a little non verbal with hand movements. 

Has anyone experienced this... any advice? I feel so frustrated with myself and I wish I would just stop it! 

 

[Lil_K47]

i'm so very sorry you went through such a difficult time, I'm so very sorry people made you feel uncomfortable with who you want to be. And let me just say there is absolutely nothing wrong with you that you are perfect exactly the way you are! This community here is incredibly welcoming and we accept everybody for who they are! So I hope you will find lots of great friends and great support here within these "walls"

Mental health is definitely no joke I am so glad you were able to find a good provider and get started on some medicines that are helping you that's a very big step! One I've had to take as well! 

It sounds like your daddy is wonderfully supportive of you. Id say take things slow. talk with him and let him know how you're feeling and then together come up with a plan to maybe ease yourself back into that little set of mine with him. 

In a real life almost like you're having to rebuild the trust even though I'm sure it's still there, once you've had a bad experience and you've been hurt it's hard to start over again. And it sounds like he understands that and that's a wonderful thing! 

I'm sure some others will chime in here eventually with some great advice! 

Sending you some big hugs and if you ever need to have a chat feel free to reach out anytime! 

Also the lighthouse circle is a great club here and it's a great space for getting advice letting loose your feelings. The moderators of that club are absolutely fabulous and always available for personal messages! 

[MasterPhotog]

@marshmalloww First, thank you for being so strong and for sharing this with us.

Congratulations on removing yourself from a negative situation that caused you so much pain, shame, and grief. And congratulations as well for taking care of your anxiety and allowing yourself to grow into the new person you feel you’re becoming. Your daddy sounds like an amazing, supportive, and loving individual, which I know you're proud of having in your life.

Sometimes we don’t have a choice but to be extremely busy. What matters most is that you continue to make time to care for yourself, rest well, and spend meaningful moments with your daddy. That’s what truly counts.

It’s unfortunate that some people in our society still choose judgment and negativity. Please remember that their behavior says everything about them and nothing about you. Their discomfort is not yours to carry. Their comments do not define your future. Their judgment will never outweigh the truth of who you are or the beauty of what you’ve built.
 
In addition to following great advice that @Lil_K47 has offered you, here's a motivational letter you want to write and read on difficult days: 

Dear Me,

I know today feels heavy. I know the world can be loud, unkind, and confusing when others project their fears and insecurities onto your relationship. But before you absorb even a fraction of that negativity, take a breath and come back to what is real: your love, your integrity, and your courage.

You and your Daddy did not choose each other by accident. You chose each other because your hearts connect in a way that is genuine, meaningful, and grounded in real care. That choice is an act of strength, not something to be doubted or diminished.

Remember this: people's negative behavior says everything about them and nothing about you or your daddy.
Their discomfort is not your burden. Their comments do not define your future. Their judgment will never outweigh the truth of who you are or the beauty of what you’ve built.

You have already survived so much more than anyone can see on the surface. Every moment you stand in your love — openly, honestly, proudly, you are choosing courage over fear and authenticity over pressure.

You deserve to be treated with dignity. You deserve safety. You deserve joy.
And you deserve a relationship that reflects your heart, not other people’s limitations.

When the world feels harsh, hold on to what’s yours:

• Your compassion.
• Your resilience.
• Your place beside someone who loves you deeply.
• Your right to walk in public without apology.

Let today’s heaviness fall away, piece by piece. You are not alone. You are not fragile. You are not wrong for loving boldly.

You are growing into the strongest version of yourself — the one who knows their worth, stands tall in their truth, and refuses to shrink for anyone’s comfort.

And on every tough day to come, remember this:

• You are bigger than the shadows cast by small, negative minds.
• You are deserving of love in its fullest, freest form.
• And your story is one of courage, connection, and unshakeable strength.

With pride in your journey,
Your future and proud self
- - -
Please take care of yourself, and feel free to reach out to me directly anytime without worrying about being judged. Wishing you happiness — now and always!

[RoseyLittle]

Thank you for writing what you did, and having the courage to risk for yourself. My heart constricted reading the pain you went through at the hands of others. And it soared reading how you have honoured that wound by taking care of yourself and resourcing yourself, and how safely it seems your daddy is holding you in it too.
 

You are so welcome and wanted here. ♥️ you deserve to take up space and voice. And you deserve to let your little fly free! I’ve only been here a little while but, but I’m constantly amazed by the care of others in this space. As shown in the beautiful replies of @Lil_K47 and @MasterPhotog

Im going to take a threat response approach and just normalize the way our system can go into a freeze response when it feels triggered or activated by the feeling of threat/stress. It’s really normal to have things we just can’t say yet. Certain words or even just getting a little none verbal as a whole. That happens to me sometimes and it’s absolutely like all the words are in your head, but you can’t push them out your throat. And sometimes no matter what we try to do from our head, it’s the body that is storing the trauma response and is holding on tight. 
 

Something I’ve learned that can help, in my own process and when working with the trauma of others is to help ground and soothe the trauma response down. And work with tiny little tips and tricks. So here’s a few I know:
 

1. We can just be compassionate and patient to the process, knowing it will come when ready. We don’t need to push it or force it. Not saying it doesn’t make it not true. He’s your daddy. 

2. We can embrace the nonverbal and do thinks that speak it in other ways. Most connection is felt through non verbal any way! 😜 I’ve had clients who text the words or write them down. Who pick a code word they can say that means the word they can’t. Who choose a touch that means what they want to say but can’t. Even one who could sing it when they couldn’t say it! We can get creative. 

3. We can put ourselves in as much as a soothing grounded state before we try. When I have to say vulnerable things, I can’t make eye contact. I need my daddy to squish me close to his body and burrow my face in. And then sometimes I can whisper it. And sometimes not. And it’s okay. 

4. We can do a somatic exercise to wake up the throat and help shift out of the freeze response. Moving our body can help move the state. Dance party! Silly wiggles. Or my absolute favourite, I get the client and myself to both start a low hum together and then slowly build up and up in sound til we are yelling a big strong loud note! One time I did this exercise in a day program trauma group I was running at a shelter I worked at, with like 40 guys in the room. I didn’t think about how loud that would actually get and shelter security came bursting in the door. 🤣 Oops! The point is that literally singing, or humming or having a good roar can help unfreeze our voice. 
 

But no matter what, it’s already in your heart. It’s in your eyes the way you look and him and thoughts. The way you are with him. It’s okay to let your body find the trust and healing to happen in its time. And it’s also okay to practice. There’s no right or wrong. Just what feels good to you. ♥️ 

[NickyMoon]

I really can't top the great advice above, but I was wondering, is it just the word "Daddy" or all titles of that kind? Like could you call him an alternate and maybe ease into "Daddy"? When I first started admitting to myself that I was little, saying "Daddy" felt really weird because of the stigmas but I was raised Southern so saying "Sir" was easy so that is how I referred to my first Daddy. I never once called him "Daddy" our whole relationship. I'm comfortable with it now but it definitely took time and having an alternate title helped. 

[Lil_K47]

@MasterPhotog @RoseyLittle I was really hoping you both would chime in here!! I don't know why I didn't think to tag you guys!  lol as always you guys give fabulous, comforting, and encouraging advice! Insights which are useful to all of us! Thank you both for being here to guide us! ❤️❤️