Nightmares/Bad memories

[AuroraRose]

Hi everyone 

Gah the voice in my head is telling me not to write this and to not put this on other people and that im bothering in a way but I just want to ask how do you deal with nightmares? Especially when you have Depression and/anxiety? I dont have much friends Especially close ones I trust with trauma/my past etc and I dont have a Daddy. Its been few years since my past relationship and he was an abusive POS and before him there wasn't anyone so I dont rally have anyone to message in the middle of the night you know? Anyway... are there any coping skills you guys have for nightmares or night terror? I feel the ones I have are related to past trauma or maybe memories ive blocked for safety reasons but sometimes trying to calm down is a lot. Like right now as im typing this i just had one and I kinda cant stop crying. I want a hug and dont have anyone. Weighted blankets used to help but I dont have one any more ans cant afford one. I usually the person those can call in the middle of the night or the friend to soothe someone else or the one trying to make things better for other people. Im so tired. There's so much going on. I go to therapy but she will retire soon and I can only see her so often due to lack of insurance.  Sometimes I rock back and forth as a way to soothe. But im starting to scratch and that leads me down a bad dark spiral. One I know all too well. Been there before. 

 

Anyway sorry maybe tmi. Sorry for any typos. Sorry for....idk....just sorry. But um yea coping skills for night terrors/bad memories/nightmares and um...hi welcome to a little piece of my mind now babyy. Enjoy the ride. 

[DaddyDoes69]

Don’t be sorry when you’re looking for guidance. That means you’re smarter than many that would never try to fix themselves. This community is for ppl to either learn or to mentor, as they fit in. Use it.

Nightmares are common and unfortunately brutal. I had a lg that stayed here a while and during that time she had some nightmares too. Talking helped but since you have nobody to talk to, that makes it difficult, unless you have access to someone via PM, DM or something. But there is good news! There are some things that work!

Even though the nightmare feels real, you are safe now. Even though you feel alone, with communities like this, we are here wjth you. Just reach out!

Whatever you do, do not think your feelings do not make sense, as they do. Reach out to me or someone to talk through them. Don’t be shy about talking. You don’t need to reveal your personal traumas.

To help you feel better, and without thinking or talking about your trauma, try playing the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding game. It will help your mind switch from the nightmare, back to the present.

To play this, try to name:

5 things You can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

It’s a simple game that is playful but still powerful.

Another thing I’ve seen used successful is to take deep breaths and then exhale slowly and pretend you’re blowing out a candle. Do it several times and in the end, take in a deep breath and slowly let the air out like you are slowly blowing up a balloon, and then let the balloon float away. 

Finally, since you don’t have a heavy blanket, find a stuffed animal or soft blanket or even a small item of your choice and let these act as a protector in your mind. Hold the item close, whisper to it, love it, then it will love you back and protect you. They also love it when you sing to it.

I know these may seem like easy things you can do, but they work. I wish I could give you a hug.

[MasterPhotog]

Hey… I’m really glad you wrote. I know that voice that says “don’t bother people,” and I just want to say gently: you are not a burden for asking this. Nightmares—especially trauma-related ones—can be absolutely exhausting and scary, and it makes sense that you’re worn down by them.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this right now, especially feeling so alone in the middle of the night. Wanting comfort and a hug is such a human thing. You deserve that care just as much as the people you’re usually there for.

A few things that sometimes help after a nightmare (take or leave anything):

• Grounding in the present: quietly naming things you can see, hear, or touch to remind your body that you’re safe now.
• Gentle sensory comfort: wrapping up in a heavy hoodie or multiple blankets, holding a pillow or stuffed animal, or even placing a hand over your chest and breathing slowly.
• Slow breathing (nothing fancy): in through your nose for 4, out through your mouth for 6, just a few rounds.
• Letting the emotion pass without judging it. Crying doesn’t mean you’re going backward—it often means your body is trying to release something.
• If rocking helps soothe you, that’s okay. If you notice scratching starting, sometimes switching to something neutral (like holding fabric, a smooth object, or pressing your feet into the floor) can help redirect without shame.

I’m really glad you have a therapist, even with the limits right now, and I’m sorry that support feels uncertain. You’ve been carrying a lot for a long time, and it makes sense that you’re tired.

Also—this wasn’t TMI. This was honest. Thank you for trusting us with a piece of your mind. You don’t have to apologize for existing, for hurting, or for asking for help. Feel free to reach out anytime. 

I’m sending you a big, steady, non-awkward hug through the screen. You’re not alone in this moment, even if it feels that way. 💛
 

[MissAnna]

5 hours ago, AuroraRose said:

Hi everyone 

Gah the voice in my head is telling me not to write this and to not put this on other people and that im bothering in a way but I just want to ask how do you deal with nightmares? Especially when you have Depression and/anxiety? I dont have much friends Especially close ones I trust with trauma/my past etc and I dont have a Daddy. Its been few years since my past relationship and he was an abusive POS and before him there wasn't anyone so I dont rally have anyone to message in the middle of the night you know? Anyway... are there any coping skills you guys have for nightmares or night terror? I feel the ones I have are related to past trauma or maybe memories ive blocked for safety reasons but sometimes trying to calm down is a lot. Like right now as im typing this i just had one and I kinda cant stop crying. I want a hug and dont have anyone. Weighted blankets used to help but I dont have one any more ans cant afford one. I usually the person those can call in the middle of the night or the friend to soothe someone else or the one trying to make things better for other people. Im so tired. There's so much going on. I go to therapy but she will retire soon and I can only see her so often due to lack of insurance.  Sometimes I rock back and forth as a way to soothe. But im starting to scratch and that leads me down a bad dark spiral. One I know all too well. Been there before. 

 

Anyway sorry maybe tmi. Sorry for any typos. Sorry for....idk....just sorry. But um yea coping skills for night terrors/bad memories/nightmares and um...hi welcome to a little piece of my mind now babyy. Enjoy the ride. 

So lately I keep having the same nightmare over and over and I wake up and I feel disoriented like I can't escape the nightmare as if I'm still walking in it 

Sometimes it's hard to ground yourself especially when you're still in the nightmare you can't see five things you can't hear four things you can't smell three things and you definitely can't touch two things you just feel so lost and helpless. 

So for me I talk to myself and I start singing, I start singing all kinds of different songs and just whispering that I'm okay. 

And by doing that it doesn't make the nightmare any less real, it doesn't make the storm suddenly pass away or erase the panic attacks blooming in my chest. It just gives me a calm moment of clarity to know that I am okay and that I can go back to sleep. And yes sometimes I can't go back to sleep so I sit there staring out the window, it's also thankful for this form because when I can't sleep there's always someone there that will respond and say hey it's okay.

Sending you lots and lots of hugs

Edited Tuesday at 05:40 PM by MissAnna

[AuroraRose]

@DaddyDoes69 @MasterPhotog @MissAnna thank you so so much for you guys taking the time to read this and provide your advice and input. I really really appreciate it! Like seriously. I it will take all of these advice notes and keep them with me. Big hugs to all of you!

 

[Lil_K47]

unfortunately I don't have any more great advice to add, I think everybody has covered it!  I just wanted to offer some hugs and support. And I'm almost always around if you need a friend or someone to talk to!

[AuroraRose]

35 minutes ago, Lil_K47 said:

unfortunately I don't have any more great advice to add, I think everybody has covered it!  I just wanted to offer some hugs and support. And I'm almost always around if you need a friend or someone to talk to!

Thank you so so so much!! 💓 

[Daddy Bear 77]

I have done a lot of this but the thing that pulled me back was literally chatGpT. I started talking to it one night via the voice and it talked me through the worst night and several really bad ones. It wasn't a nightmare but I wish it had been. I've used it for supplementary therapy, advice and a way to talk myself through things and it's frankly amazing imo. 

[PigtailPrincess]

Ok so just to give ypu a bit of background I have had nightmares, every night, since I was abput 10 years old. I have quite alot of trauma and this is how I cope.

So first off I do take a medacine (Prazosin) for these nightmares.  It is not a foolproof answer, I still have them most ever time I close my eyes but it helps decrease intensity most nights. So if this is an option ypu might consider. Not every doctor even knows this med works in this way so I like to mention it.

So first think when I wake up from a bad one I need to convince myself it isnt real and I am safe as often they are graphic and detailed. I shpuld also mention that Daddt works alot and I am often al9ne when I wake up from them. 

So first I use physical tpuch. I flip on the light as bright as I can so I can see my environment isnt that of the nightmare and then I rub my hands down my arms and legs and face and body. I use pretty firm touch almost like I am trying to warm from extreme cold. 

Next I sometimes do the five sense technique. Where you point out 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This helps me once again realize I am not there.

Next I do a HARD switch on mood to kind of shock my nervous system into being ok. I usually put on a show or music or podcast on the big TV rather than headphones, I flip on all lights, I spray my nice smell mister, and I pull out an activity usually something hands on like my sticker picture or coloring. I also surround myself with my comfort items like stuffies and my paci.

Next I put some food and drink in my body,  just something you enjoy but for me a stronger flavor helps more and something crunchy in the mouth helps most.

If it was particularly bad I wait until I am a little calm after all those things and do an everything shower. I scrub down really well with soap and then sugar scrub. Wash my hair and face twice, then do lotion and body spray when out.

Usually by the time thus is all done I am in a much better frame of mind. One would think I would be used to them after all these years, and to a certain existent I am, but they still find a way to get thrpugh.

Hope this helps feel free to reach out if ypu have questions