Trauma patterns coming back under stress

[BabyPoppy]

I have a big doctor appointment coming up soon at Mayo... I'm starting to feel it in my body, mind spirit and soul... I know this is a stress response or rather a trauma response from years, decades, or a lifetime of not being heard, not being seen, and lack of validation.  I find myself withdrawing from safe people and slipping into unsafe habits again. I logically don't wanna do this! It is hurting my heart and I feel so frustrated, angry and sad when I see the choices I'm making, but I keep doing it! I just wanna stop! But I feel so helpless... which is a lie my overreacting brain is telling me... 

Deep breaths... calm... peace... one moment at a time... 

Tears are healthy...

I'm not alone... 

But everything is so big! So intense... I just wanna hide my head in the sand like an ostrich and let the world run by... 

I don't need answers, just people to sit with me in this moment. To be kind and gracious, as you always are. 

When life gets hard, I gotta learn to trust people, not run away. 

[Lil_K47]

oh sweetie I'm so sorry you're feeling the stress!! 

Like you said just remember deep breath! And remember I think you are way stronger than you think you are!! 

You're incredibly brave to come here and reach out! But even better, your self-aware of what you're doing! Which means you are in control!! 

And I will sit here with you and metaphorically hold your hand anytime you need me to! 🫂❤️❤️

Big hugs my friend big hugs!!

[princess_amelia]

Trying to break patterns is not easy! I think you're showing great bravery. Sending you warms thoughts 🌟