Trauma patterns coming back under stress

[BabyPoppy]

I have a big doctor appointment coming up soon at Mayo... I'm starting to feel it in my body, mind spirit and soul... I know this is a stress response or rather a trauma response from years, decades, or a lifetime of not being heard, not being seen, and lack of validation.  I find myself withdrawing from safe people and slipping into unsafe habits again. I logically don't wanna do this! It is hurting my heart and I feel so frustrated, angry and sad when I see the choices I'm making, but I keep doing it! I just wanna stop! But I feel so helpless... which is a lie my overreacting brain is telling me... 

Deep breaths... calm... peace... one moment at a time... 

Tears are healthy...

I'm not alone... 

But everything is so big! So intense... I just wanna hide my head in the sand like an ostrich and let the world run by... 

I don't need answers, just people to sit with me in this moment. To be kind and gracious, as you always are. 

When life gets hard, I gotta learn to trust people, not run away. 

[Lil_K47]

oh sweetie I'm so sorry you're feeling the stress!! 

Like you said just remember deep breath! And remember I think you are way stronger than you think you are!! 

You're incredibly brave to come here and reach out! But even better, your self-aware of what you're doing! Which means you are in control!! 

And I will sit here with you and metaphorically hold your hand anytime you need me to! 🫂❤️❤️

Big hugs my friend big hugs!!

[princess_amelia]

Trying to break patterns is not easy! I think you're showing great bravery. Sending you warms thoughts 🌟

[RoseyLittle]

I’m so sorry this is overwhelming and hard right now. It’s beautiful that you recognize the trigger, the trauma response and old coping patterns even as they happen. That is the biggest part of the battle in slowly changing them. 

I can hear the way you are holding yourself with compassion in it too and I am all out Pom-pom cheerleading you doing that. I know sometimes a return of old coping mechanisms can feel like a game over button that starts us over. Womp womp. But this isn’t retro Mario style gaming, it’s 2026 rpg style! When we return to the coping mechanism we are not back at the beginning, we bring with us all our xp, and gear!! I swear this metaphor works. 🤣 Even in an old behaviour YOU are a different person than each time before, with a little more awareness, a little more practice. 

Like you write, you are not alone. One breath at a time, one moment at a time. You are human and beautifully imperfect. Also *climbs into the hard place with you and just sits* we don’t need to fix nothin. Happy to just sit with you in it. ♥️

[frantastic]

Trauma hits everyone different.  You are doing the right things. You will make it through this. I believe in you.