Feeling overwhelmed

[BabyPoppy]

It's starting to hit me that I'm leaving... for 3 weeks... leaving my daughters, my home, my routines, my safety to find help and healing. It's not the first time I've been gone for my health and I'm starting to have flashbacks of how hard it was to resume regular life. I've been struggling today with getting things done... it's a freeze response. I've spent the past 2 weeks planning, organizing,  being rational, logical, focused and making sure everyone else is ready... now it's time for me to finish packing and get the last of my stuff ready to go and I'm truly terrified! 

I'm an introvert,  from a small town, and I really need my routine to feel safe. I'm going to a huge hospital in a big city (big to me), all by myself, and my routine will be all over the place. 

I'm worried about everyone else, when I need to relax, breath and prepare myself. 

To say the words I feel scared both that the doctors will find something major, turning my entire life will be upside down, or that I will once again be told we need more tests... I'm so tired of being sick, weak, exhausted, and not being able to eat or sleep. I want answers,  but I'm also afraid of what that could mean for my future! 😞😢

 

[redruffle41]

Good luck!!!!  I'm going to be sending you good vibes! I hope this process leads you to some healing and peace. 

[NickyMoon]

Sending you so many hugs Poppy. That sounds scary to be going through. I know for me it is easier to worry about everyone else before helping myself so just the fact that you are doing this for your health is a big deal. I don’t really have any words of wisdom but you deserve so many hugs for facing something scary head on and for taking care of yourself 🩷