Procrastinating a breakup

[beaniebaby95]

I have been putting off breaking up with my daddy since like October or November... Tbh he scares me a little and I'm not good at confrontation to begin with. He has a violent past but I naively thought he'd grown as a person. Unfortunately I've learned that he has not. He hasn't hurt me or anything physical, but he has no problem yelling at me and making me feel like shit and has threatened physical harm towards my autistic 9yo small human for a misunderstanding. Obviously that is unacceptable and I have made the decision to kick him out and break up with him. But i am struggling to actually get the words out. I started to tell him the other day but i chickened out. I have spent the last two days feeling physically ill from the level of anxiety I feel about this. One thing that is stopping me is that he doesn't really have anywhere to go as far as he's said (i did try to kick him out in December but he talked me out of it). Another thing is that he doesn't just accept that i want him to leave, he argues and begs and says anything he can possibly think of to get his way and change my mind. And the last thing is that we share a daughter and i am afraid he'll try to use her against me in some way. I'm not really looking for advice I don't think, but maybe some encouragement to get past my fear of confrontation and just him in general. And maybe reassurance I'm not a massive dumb*ss for believing he'd changed in the first place 😞 he gets home from work tonight around 10pm and I'm hoping to convince myself to do it then. But I've also been trying to do this for like 5 days now, let alone the last 4 or so months 😬 

[DelightfulD]

I am sorry you are going through this and hope you are able to end this. Don’t be afraid to get law enforcement involved if you feel threatened. I know it is not easy to do this but please don’t feel discouraged. 

[redruffle41]

Glad you're responding to your fear with some hesitation, honestly. Makes sense to take time and think of how to do this the right way.  All that being said since you don't want advice all I'll say is this:  "Oh my gosh yes!!! Break up with that guy and then come back and tell us all how it went!!!" You can do it! Tell that ass to go somewhere else!!!!

[princess_amelia]

I'll say it and I mean it: You're not a massive dumb*ss for believing he'd changed in the first place! You have nothing to be ashamed of. Violence in intimate relationship is often insidious (manipulation, psychological and emotional abuse). You deserve respect and consideration. 

[Lil_K47]

so sorry you're going through this!! just wanted to throw some hugs and encouragement your way!! it's incredibly hard when you feel trapped! 

I once dated a guy who had a shady past, but it seemed like he had changed his life around. I let him move in with me really quick and like not even two months into it I realized he was a bad dude (that's putting it nicely) he wasn't abusive but he was doing drugs and he brought a gun into my home without my knowledge and I found it.

I ended up changing all my locks one day when he wasn't there. 

so that could be an option but if you're worried about what he's gonna say when you try to break up with him you might have a friend be there with you to give you some support. Sometimes people are less likely to cause a big scene in front of others. 

I'll be keeping you in my prayers! 

[beanbean]

Just be very careful while doing it and and yes change your locks and call the police if you see him around after words you can’t be to careful