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Pet play sub drop


Peach121
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Ok. So last night for the first time ever I had all my puppy gear on and me and daddy got to play together. I got completely absorbed in being a pup - to the point where it was surreal, an almost out of body experience... Playtime ended, and then I crashed...

I got up and went to the toilet and found myself just falling to the floor and crying in a heap.

I was scared and confused and I just remember looking down at my naked human body and feeling disgusted with what I was. I felt like I wasn't me, I felt like a matter of minutes ago I was a puppy and then all of a sudden I'd woken up in this horrible, disgusting human body. I just hated myself and I wanted to go back to being a pup. Daddy was trying to comfort me, but in all honesty his words weren't even registering. I remember wondering what was real and what wasn't, and just looking at my body and hating it, despising it.

It took me a very long time, being very emotional, having a total breakdown really, before I started to calm down. I got daddy to put my collar and lead back on because it was the only thing that made me feel safe and ok. I lay in bed with him holding my lead and I finally managed to calm down. I was trying to explain that I knew I was really me, and I know I'm a person, but that play time just felt so real that for a little while I forgot that it wasn't, and that scared me.

 

I'm wondering if this kind of sudden and intense drop is normal? How can we deal with it better next time? Neither of us was prepared for that to happen, or for it to be so intense. I don't even want to talk to daddy about play time at the moment, I loved everything that happened but I'm so ashamed of how I acted during the drop. I really thought I was actually a pup for a while, and I don't want daddy to think I'm acting crazy or think any less of me.

 

Please someone just help me understand if this is normal, please.

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I personally don't participate in pup play, but I do understand the state of being surreal. While it doesn't happen to me when I am is mouse space usually, whenever I go deep into little space, I can feel myself becoming smaller, and I occasionally will 'forget' to speak. It is not that I don't know how, it's just the endorphins from age regression are so intense my mind doesn't focus of speaking.

When I come out to quickly, it is jarring and shocking to discover I have long legs and adult features. I tend to drop, which for me means I can't eat, cry easily, get mad, and I can even loose sleep. This has been confusing for both Daddy and I. I know I am an adult, but it's like for the last two hours I wasn't and I felt like I just woke up in someone else's body.

What I have found to work for me is very very very slowly coming out of that space. Daddy will slowly work into getting me into a big headspace. He will use bigger words, encouraging me to do the same, he will take away my paci and just very gradually work me into an adult. He calls this," Transition assistance."

After that (which usually spans the course of thirty minutes but it depends on how deep I am) we have a bunch of after care. Gentle (tmi sorry) sex, warm baths, funny movies are out personal favorites.
:)

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I never thought I'd say this to anyone as I'm rather shy, but..

 

When I go in to my fox/kitten self, I tend to not want to leave the mindset. When I have to I feel the same, it lowers my mood and makes me want to sob. I like the carefree illusion I get and the feeling of being controlled completely by someone more competent.

 

When coming out of it, if it's sudden then I struggle. I become withdrawn and sort of wallow a little. Daddy is usually gentle and keeps me calm, same sort of aftercare that Lexie stated. (: I find that this helps, and I eventually ease back in to my big space easier with soft conversation that grows in to a more adult vocabulary. I don't talk a lot when I'm in kitten/fox space, so talking is a big thing to draw me away from it.

 

Don't feel like you are alone though, it's just learning to adapt mentally and find a resolution that allows you to seperate yourself safely. I hope you figure out what works best for yourself (:

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I apologize, I meant to put do not participate in Pup play. I am a mouse myself! (please don't eat me tehehe) Although yes I agree fully with Pocket_Kitten! I used to think I was the only one haha! O.o

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It's very hard, especially if you are LDR or like myself, in a relationship with my Daddy but have no IRL friends that are accepting enough for me to tell. Sometimes you just need someone to reassure you who isn't your Daddy/CG.
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Have you considered a symbol that represents the return from pet status? You can have an object that represents the transition from person to pup and back again. Psychologically, this can be very meaningful. When your Dadfy turns it around, or upside down, or whatever you choose, it gives you permission to melt away into pet space. But it stays there throughout as a reminder that you will be returning. And when it goes back, it gives you direction and permission to return. Then it stays as a reminder of your ability to dissolve again.

 

I say all of this because you got so deep into play that it became like hypnosis. No one waived a watch in front of your face, but you basically put yourself in a trance. Bringing yourself back takes some trigger - like what you see on tv with a snap of the fingers, but more complex than that.

 

These are just some thoughts to consider. Aftercare is of course critical, and I'm glad your Daddy was there and tried to help.

 

And finally, bravo for you for going so deep. Not everyone can.

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Thanks so much for all your comments.

I really didn't know if going so deep into pet/little space was normal and it's nice to know I'm not weird or different or crazy!

I sent daddy the link so he's been able to see how I feel and some of the suggested solutions so hopefully we'll be better prepared next time. Thanks all x

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