How to handle big feelings befor exploding into pieces

[babypichu5]

Hi friends 🤗. I would like to brain storm a problem together and see what you think. I frequently deal with emotional disregulation due to changes in routen and sensory processing disorder (spd). This can results in a meltdowns and shutdowns, I'm autistic, a fellow aspi if you will, so this is just comes with the territory. 😣

 

I have taken steps to try and mange my spd (thats a whole nother topc for another day) but can't manage meltdown well. I can suppress them up until appoint. Heck, I can even acknowledge when one is coming on but in those states I lack the mental capacity to acess the rashional side of my brain to find a solution. This delay in response easily yeids at best, a shutdown and at worst, a meltdown. 

 

One of the curent stratiges I've been wanting to impliment is to create a calm down corner and list of simple instrutions so that when I feel these feelings coming on, past me has made a plan for current me tackle the situation.

 

Some context that can help guide answers are.

 

-I hate noise and light when I am stressed.😖

 

-I love fuzzy, squishy, and smooth textures.😇

 

-I like deep pressure like a weighted blanket.😇

 

*mild trigger warning*

Self-h**m mentioned. Skip the hidden paragraph if that topic causes you stress. 

Spoiler

-Some stims that I am trying to a void is kicking, hitting, and head banging. If you are not familiar with asd those are common maladaptive copes for disregulation but obviously are dangerous. These are not results of the person thinking about there actions but instead are involuntary responsible from the body. 

 

Also another helpful detail, I lose the capacity to translate complex thought into words and often will result to grunts, yells, and screems to express emotion or "communicate" needs which is not productive and is distressing to me and the person trying to help me. When I calm down I mange to speak and have the simple speech patterns of a three year old. All that to say is I regress quite a bit.  

Again none of this negative behavior is on purpose it's not the same as having anger issues but is a nervous system issues (please feel free to ask me questions on this and I can clarify and answer as best as I can). 

To tie this all together, my question is what steps or rituals would you suggest I take as part of my written instructions for dealing with emotional disregulation as well as what sensory based activities should I implement to help myself calm down and reduce dangerous stims?

🩷 Thanks a ton for reading this. It means alot to me for someone to read my honest thoughts and reflection. It feels like apart of me gets to be seen and there for not alone. I look forward to interacting with your responses see your perspectives. 

Sincerely,

💛Pichu 

[redruffle41]

Hi 👋 @babypichu5

Thanks for your message and for being open to feedback.

Gentle things to calm yourself are good and it sounds like u have a practice with sensory needs like low light, soft texture and weighted blanket. (Add noise cancelling headphones? They're about $50)

But if you're about to explode IMO you need something that's going to answer to that deep well of anger, anguish, fear of annihilation that is a meltdown.

To avoid the self ***m stim would it help you to find a place where you can PUSH your arms and /or legs really, really hard? A doorway can be a good spot, a bed with metal bars, or a small nook with walls that are close together and feels safe.

For me, this is what feels good:

if I can find the sweet spot where my arms can lock and I can engage my whole body without hurting a joint.

If I'm sitting on the floor (because I've fallen there, lol) I love pressing my back into a wall using my straight legs. A hallway that's the right size can help or closet.

I can hold a pillow to my face, add an ice pack to the face (someone can bring that to me if I'm melting down and set it next to me silently. I don't have to use it but I don't have to walk to the ice box if I need it either. This is a way for them to support that feels safe for everyone) and wow. Cold pain can really help get the energy out.

If I'm on my bed I lay face down (scream into that mattress yo!!) and I press my hands into the metal bars of my headboard. I lock my arms. This is wonderful bc the mattress provides enough give for me to be able to find that sweet locked joint place for my shoulders and elbows but the mattress also PUSHES BACK AGAINST MY PUSH. It's so so helpful.

A note about self***m and the need for pain:   The contact from the bars on my palms can hurt a little and that's ok for me!! I don't know where you are with self***m but for me I have a relationship with pain that's ok for me to cause myself pain. The bars don't cut, they're rounded and not sharp. So the pressure is deep but not sharp. I have indentations after, never bruising. But this may differ for you in the amount you use this. My holds tend to be brief. Maybe 60 seconds at a time before I get tired and need to reevaluate.  I understand everyone is at a different place with self***m. But I wonder if needing some pain is ok. And I think it's smart to avoid the harm from hitting your head or kicking that may hurt your leg or ankle. I do think kicking heels into the ground while lying on your back is ok. I have a gymnastics mat for that. If you need space to thrash around make sure your go to spot has enough room so u don't hit yourself on something hard. 

 

As a pre coping mechanism you can have someone lay on top of you, kneel on your back with knees on your hips and hands on your shoulders, or they can practice standing on you and giving pressure. This is good to practice when calm so u can communicate but maybe you can build up a practice that helps?

Edited 21 hours ago by redruffle41