My little left me...

[AgentCodyDanks]

Pain. Nothing but pain right now. Questions. Pain. Fear, and more pain. My stomach hurts. I have a pit there that I haven't felt since my most depressed days years ago. I hate this feeling. I feel disgusting. 

8 months straight of going to sleep over facetime, 8 months of waking her up on time for class or work or whatever activities she set for the day. 8 months of taking care of her in every way possible, seeing her extreme highs and lows that come with Bipolar Depression. 8 months of seeing her every day, knowing that I was going to hear her voice say I love you Daddy as we put our heads down. I put something on Discord for you. It's usually our favorite Papa Meat, or its one of your favorite cartoons or animated movies. 

 

But i know, we couldn't see eye to eye on this. No matter what. You were perfect except for one thing, you wanted to be open. I couldn't deal with that. I don't want to share you. And that is what a majority of our issues would stem from. And I know that isn't everything, we had a few other little issues. But so many would have been avoided if we just had those talks early on. I said that in a DDLG or BDSM style relationship, communication is everything. And I tried to have conversations about boundaries and what is okay and what isn't. But you kept insisting it was better to learn along the way. But now look. You blew up on me 3 times these last few weeks because we were doing things you didn't like. But I had no idea because you never expressed anything. If I asked if you were okay with certain things, even just watching what I wanna watch, you would differ to me. 

 

Im venting. Im hurt. She is gorgeous, she is insanely easy to talk to, bubbly, flirty... The amount of guys that are going to want to talk to you... The amount of guys that were already trying to talk to you.... My mind is stuck. Its been 12 hours and I still cant stop crying. 

 

You were my first true little. You were my first Girlfriend. You were my first a lot of things. I just wish we could have met in person first. Just so I could know what my littles hair smells like. Or what her face feels like against my hand as I caress her. Or what your voice sounds like not on Snap.... I miss you babygirl. I don't know how I am going to get over this at the moment. 8 months of knowing you were there day and night. And now no one. You have former Daddies and Sugar Daddies in your phone. You have a reddit account where you used to search for Daddies like me. And you have an OF account soon to open. My biggest fear is how much "Fun" you want to have. You can slip into little space quite often when doing fun time. I fear that you are going to do that with someone who has no idea how to handle my little girl. And they're gonna hurt you. Just be safe baby. For Daddy. You're still my little girl. You always will be. I told you that and I meant it months and months ago. I miss you. I love you. Thank you for being there when you were. I just wish you were here now.