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Becoming vulnerable at the wrong times


Guest starrflower
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Guest starrflower

So I am having trouble with becoming really vulnerable to certain people especially when I regress to my 4 year old self. It's like my protective boundaries just disappear. And I automatically go into little space at such unfortunate times. This is making me very depressed.

 

I would like to ask what other littles do in this situation. Do you have similar troubles with this?

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Pardon, I am a bit dense sometimes with the English language... I don't quite understand: "having trouble with becoming really vulnerable to certain people"

Do you want to be vulnerable to them or no?

 

"It's like my protective boundaries just disappear."

Again, is that what you want or is that what's bothering you?

 

If I had to guess... you are not feeling secure & safe with certain people when you are in your vulnerable little space & you want to be?

 

I'm not a little... but as a daddy, I should be able to empathize.

It's never easy feeling to be able "to completely trust others" with yourself, especially if you have no extensive proven history with them & it might be for a good reason for you feel that or just more time to build trust.

 

"At ages 4-6" your parents were responsible for you. "In" your little space, you are still ultimately responsible for yourself, unless you have a daddy that "can & will be your complete care giver" for the "duration" you are in your little space. Otherwise, it's healthy to be on your guard or you can talk with someone that you do trust to help you sort it out as you are in your little zone.

Best wishes.

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Guest starrflower

these are good questions :)  I want to be vulnerable with certain people and others no.  When I was married my husband became my protective barrier although we did not have a daddy/little relationship.  Now that I am single, I am having to learn to be my own protector and this is a good thing, but not easy to learn.  My adult self can reason and see "red flags", but my child self wants to trust too much.   

 

When I learned about ddlg, my draw to it was that I can have a relationship with someone that really understands my little space and also sees me as an adult.  But now that I am putting myself out there in the dating world (which I hate dating lol)  I am feeling a bit terrified.  

 

I am learning a lot about myself.  Thank you for your insight.  I appreciate any help while I am going through this.  

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