Is there such a thing as too much trauma?

[BabyPoppy]

I have been stuck in my head this week with all the therapy I'm doing and I'm starting to wonder if I've just had too much trauma to be "typical"? 

I'm incredibly self-aware, I've done all the therapies, seen all the professionals, providers, learned all the science,  the skills and supports necessary to recover.  Currently I'm training my body to relax and calm down during stressful situations, something I need, but I'm also finding out how much all this trauma, stress, pain, and suffering have destroyed my physical body. I am trapped in the consequences of other people's bad choices and I feel angry!!!! Something I haven't felt before... I'm good at forgiveness,  grace, mercy, understanding,  compassion, but anger? Sadness? Regret for the loss of safety I rarely experienced? 

Is there too much trauma? Too much to overcome? Too much to truly recover from and be healthy? 

The short answer is no... I just need to accept where I'm at abd set my expectations appropriately.  But the grieving is so painful. I missed so much, and now it looks so overwhelming.  

Poppy 💕 

[Insanity_Stars_Birdie]

Hi friend! I have these thoughts a lot too and you put it so beautifully. 

I have CPTSD and as a fellow educator I'm sure you've probably heard of ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). Out of 10 I score an 8. Science tells us so much about what these do to our bodies

Anything over 4 comes with severely heightened risk of physical side effects. Without trauma my illnesses would not be as progressed as they are. I get angry about it too. Its harder for us. Those of us who have so much trauma that doing all the right things doesn’t always work even. 

We've missed so much. There's so much to mourn that we didn't get to have. 

But you're absolutely right. There's always a road to recovery. We need to meet ourselves where we're at and celebrate every step. Big. Small. Forwards. Backwards. 

I'll say what I always say. Trauma healing, particularly complex trauma, is not a straight line. It's more like a scribbled page one might see from a child. Not too different from the inner child we're trying to heal. 

Keep doing what you're doing! And remember backwards steps are still steps! You'll move forward again soon

[Tendillo]

19 minutes ago, Insanity_Stars_Birdie said:

Keep doing what you're doing! And remember backwards steps are still steps! You'll move forward again soon

I don't claim to have much knowledge or experience of what you've endured , @BabyPoppy, but these words from @Insanity_Stars_Birdie struck a chord with me.

I've often found that our route through life, to reach a particular destination, won't be a simple A to B, but seems to involve detours and challenges that feel so unwelcome and even unnecessary at the time, as we have to divert to other points to find our path, but... in the long run, even those seemingly backward steps are there for a reason, a lesson to learn or something helpful that we can only find by following those steps. 

We may not see the value of these detours at the time, but it eventually becomes clear in the longer run. We may see only a steep mountain to climb, but can find a more circuitous and ultimately easier way if we trust in ourself and keep believing.

[bakedplushie]

i, too, often feel like i am too traumatized. i have endured so much in my life, and i am sorry you too, have endured. 

i found what has helped me most, with all the skills and tools i have gained and learned over far too many years, is interpersonal neurobiology. the woman i have learned most from really helped me rethink how i view my own trauma with a very simple statement: 

"trauma is a normal reaction to abnormal experiences." 

i don't know how or why exactly, but it changed so much for me to view my trauma not solely as just "bad stuff happened to me and now my brain and body are a mess," to "things i never should have experienced happened to me, and now i respond to things that remind me of these abnormal experiences i shouldn't have had to begin with in a way that makes sense for my particular relationship with trauma." 

also, please feel free to message anytime if you need a shoulder, a sounding board, or just an abyss to cry into. i personally have OCD and PTSD myself, and was misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder for several years. i'm not super well versed in CBT, but if you use DBT skills, i am always happy to participate (or learn skills you use!) 

[PocketDove]

On 6/21/2026 at 1:56 PM, BabyPoppy said:

I have been stuck in my head this week with all the therapy I'm doing and I'm starting to wonder if I've just had too much trauma to be "typical"? 

I'm incredibly self-aware, I've done all the therapies, seen all the professionals, providers, learned all the science,  the skills and supports necessary to recover.  Currently I'm training my body to relax and calm down during stressful situations, something I need, but I'm also finding out how much all this trauma, stress, pain, and suffering have destroyed my physical body. I am trapped in the consequences of other people's bad choices and I feel angry!!!! Something I haven't felt before... I'm good at forgiveness,  grace, mercy, understanding,  compassion, but anger? Sadness? Regret for the loss of safety I rarely experienced? 

Is there too much trauma? Too much to overcome? Too much to truly recover from and be healthy? 

The short answer is no... I just need to accept where I'm at abd set my expectations appropriately.  But the grieving is so painful. I missed so much, and now it looks so overwhelming.  

Poppy 💕 

Really well explained and I'm sorry for what you've had to overcome. 

I relate to a lot of what you're saying and just want to leave some good energy here for you. I hope you have the opportunities to breathe and take care of yourself this week. 

[BabyPoppy]

@Insanity_Stars_Birdie

Thank you for your encouragement!

I know about ACEs all too well from work, but recently had mine assessed formally at Mayo... I thought I was about an 8....  but when she did the full assessment,  sge said I was a 10.... I cried... it was about a couple of months ago and I kinda shut down. I always told people I was a 4 - 6 depending on how well they knew me, because it really doesn't matter to most people. But to hear a psychologist ask all the questions and know as you're answering what they're saying about you is so overwhelming... then came questions about depression,  anxiety, pain,  OCD, mania.... but they were different at Mayo, deeper, more about why I felt the way I did, not just my symptoms... was the constant checking doors and windows being locked out of safety or out of a need to do the behavior... did I wash my hands immediately after getting home due to fear of getting sick because I did actually get really sick a lot, or because the act of washing my hands felt safe.... was I feeling sad and withdrawn all the time or primarily when my pain and health symptoms flared... 

All the pieces clicked onto place... I didn't have the hundreds of things the doctors worked to convince me of the past 25 years... I just had a really tough life, full of suffering and pain and I needed to be off 75% of the medications I was on, switch to more appropriate therapies, and build some in person social supports (fun). 

Thankfully I found the Forum here and all these wonderful people to be my online support community! I never would have made it through the past year without you! ❤️🥰

 

@bakedplushie

Thank you for your support! 

I love DBT!!! I'm super awesome at distraction! Ummmm sorry I mean distress tolerance 🤭 and I think emotion regulation is getting better.... i would love to trade mindfulness ideas! Here we do relaxation for 30 minutes a day and I'm struggling! We do a movement group in the morning, too that's easier,  but still difficult for me.  I excell at deep breathing, but when I slow down to do it, I cry... which i need to do, but I don't like to do.... 

@Tendillo

Thanks for the encouragement! I think everyone has struggles, but it is how we handle the journey that makes us who we are. 

@PocketDove

I'm so sorry you have had similar struggles. Life is painful and unfair. I hope you have the support you need, and if not, I'll be happy to chat.... as soon as I complete therapy... 

11 days til I go home.  

[Insanity_Stars_Birdie]

@BabyPoppy

I understand all too well how you're feeling. Rest assured you're making the right choices. Healing is just a very twisty winding confusing road. But you have lots of people to weather the storm with you. Myself included