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Tricky situation...


Lazarus_1_506
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I like to believe I am a nice guy....

 

So when on a group, I saw what I thought to be a "cry for help" so I messaged someone to ensure they weren't going to do something stupid, with the innocent intention of helping them feel better and nothing more.  I have NEVER led them on, and NEVER shown interest in them, yet they constantly try to get me to accept them as my little.  I don't want to hurt someone who is obviously emmotionally fragile, but I have tried EVERY way I can to gently show them that I am not able to fulfill the role they want and we should just stay friends( we have never had more than a few conversations, never anything romantic or intimate).  Any suggestions besides just deleting them and blocking them?

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If you truly believe you have done nothing wrong, or to lead them on, my advice would be to begin to ignore their messages. Explain to them first that you have a partner, are not looking for another, and feel uncomfortable with what the other person insinuates from your interactions. Let them know that you will not be replying to them any more, don't just disappear! But once you've done that, you will need to hold strong and genuinely not reply to any further messages they may send.

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I agree. Be honest, let them know the situation, and then remove yourself from the situation. It doesn't seem like being her friend is healthy, or even an option.
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Guest MyDaddyMyWorld
Stop being so subtle and vague. Tell them you aren't interested and you need to stop talking to them. I assume this person is an adult. She will cope.
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I agree with the sentiments above. Be firm with them and tell them outright you only want to be friends. No one can hold that against you and it isn't harsh.

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There are, both dd & lg, needy, clingy people out with sob stories just to try get attention... If they are adults, they'll or need to learn to be an adult. If not an adult, -silence- stop.
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yea, i gave up after the last attempt to establish boundaries and blocked them...realized I really owe them nothing and my own needs of wanting to keep people happy was allowing it...

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Guest MyDaddyMyWorld
Yep. Every reply you give in that kind of situation, even a non committal, "blah" or negative one, just feeds the fire. Not your circus, not your monkey.
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I agree with the comment above...there are a lot of people...not just here...everywhere...who tell sob stories for attention. That behavior...insisting you take them on as your lg after only a few casual conversations...is odd, and not generally the way genuine people behave. It's always been my understanding that BDSM and DDlg relationships are the same as "vanilla" relationships...only more intense on many levels. Her behaving this way online would be like a guy overhearing me saying something that scared him at the library...saying "you ok?"....checking on me two or three more times when he sees me around town, and having me suddenly look at him and say, "We are in a special dating relationship now" out of the blue. 

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Guest MyDaddyMyWorld

Slighty off topic, but I am so stealing that turn of phrase. "not your circus, not your monkey" LMAO

Wish I could take credit for it lol, but I can't.

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