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Hi new to the forums and have a question.


Amica
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This will seem long winded, but to better explain my plight. I think it best to be as transparent as possible, so bare with me.

 

First i'm Troy 38 years old and my partner it Tanyalee aka kitten or princess 28 years (Always called her this from the time we met before the DD/lg thing).

 

How my partner and i got into the DD/lg thing.

 

Well some people will say you become a man when you hit 18 or 21 depending on the country to which you live. For me, the first time i felt that change was the day our first child was born and my partner greeted me with "Hi Daddy" when i got back to the hospital that afternoon after work. That sense, that im sure every new father might remember... wow im a dad. (I better get my shit together aka that power kick) 

Anyway as sometimes normal with couples, our pet names became daddy and momma. The old "hey momma when she got home etc and vs Vera" This continued until the second child was born and we never paid a single thought to it "UNTIL" one night a year or two ago things got heated up in the bed room and out of nowhere she called me "Daddy".

 

Wow was an understatement... lost in the moment as she was looking up at me with those getting close to climax eye's, and that soft completely submissive look that i'm sure most can relate to. That power kick from being called daddy for the first time kicked in. The control, the awareness of my strength as she laid their thrusting her hips with mine. My one hand holding her crossed wrists above her head. the orgasm we both had was ...... just WOW!!! 

 

But this is where it got complicated..

Afterwards i kinda went into freak out mode... "what the hell is wrong with me?" Who the hell gets off on being called daddy?

I hit the good old google for the next two weeks +. (Ready to book my self into at shrink at first). You see i was sexually abused as a child by relatives and my biggest fear was "what if im like them"? I knew that even the thought of hurting a child in that way was repulsive to me. As better than most, i know the effects both physically and emotionally long term that it causes on a person and would never wish it upon anyone.

 

on the other hand Tanyalee aka kitten princess. Was why does it effect you so much or why do you overthink it? I even have gone as far as stopping our kids calling me daddy "Daddy is what mommy calls me" Which kids being as resilient as they are just stick with dad etc now. (Just weird me out too much i found)

We don't ever show that side of our relationship around the kids. Yes when one of our kids are drawing or something Tanyalee is often their right with them coloring etc... but its "HELPING" not she's having a roaring good time doing what she loves lol... Sorry its just one of them endearing things she does that i love, a good coloring book and new pencils have bailed me out of trouble a few times i admit.

 

So anyway, then one night i found a topic on the DD/lg dynamic.. and went hey.. what the hell, im not alone. There are other freaks out in the world just like me lol (My view about freaks later changed to a different perspective of freak).

So my partner and i started talking and everything fit.. all the little girly things she likes doing. Coloring, curling up on my lap, stuffies, making things / arts n crafty etc. The endlessss "PAT ME" or literately moving in her little way. To be directly in my field of vision demanding i pay her attention or the piggy backs around the block while she has her little rage about something that happened that day  etc.

 

Myself i'm kinda old school, caring, never hit a woman under no circumstances a natural teacher / care giver etc. But here in lies my predicament im in, and i hope i can explain this correctly. We both still love the dynamic in bedroom.. but i'm not the type of guy that gets off on the beating the snot out of my partner (Not judging, to each there own). Yes the odd spank here and there is fine but not to the extent of what some people take the control submissive factor.

 

Being still new to this (This is the first forum i have joined) and still very uncomfortable with something that comes sooo damn naturally to us both.. i wanted to find vids etc that show how people deal with the dynamic, both in the bedroom and combining the real life aspect. As i know... i myself am being held back from being myself and so is princess as we only get to be like that in the bedroom and switching from the roll of parent, business owner to Daddy and little space has become kinda awkward and does not feel natural, in stead forced if you get my meaning like we have to squeeze it in some how. But every time we search stuff that fits closest to our dynamic whether its porn or forums, blogs etc it always... has that incest aspect or brutality aspect. So my question is... "Is their vids or a good place that fits us and our dynamic or is it one of them things that will always lead to the taboo?" If anyone is able to help, we / i would be really really really appreciated. So stuff that does not begin with "Daddy sneaks into my bedroom" We have been together for 10 years and im always in her damn bedroom lol. You can post links to porn if its allowed on here as we are not prudes by no means, but stuff that really will help us find our way in the dynamic of DD/lg. How to manage it within our normal lives especially and give me myself some new idea's and fun things to do for her while it the little space.

 

So i hope this all kinda makes sense? if it does not feel free to ask me to try and clarify something. And i do my best to answer..

 

Troy and Tanyalee.

 

 

 

 

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Well one thing is that there are different types of BDSM and the type you say (beating the snot out of someone) is a form and people can take offense. DD/lg is a type of BDSM and its a very soft type. Daddy Doms are also called Caregivers. There are little to no videos online about this because the most of BDSM you see online is the extreme side. You can go to the resource on this forums and they have a lot of good advices on this lifestyle. You also been together for 10 years, you love her its hard for her to hide it and or suppress her lifestyle. Also you already find it interesting. All you have to o is read up on it. 

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Well one thing is that there are different types of BDSM and the type you say (beating the snot out of someone) is a form and people can take offense. DD/lg is a type of BDSM and its a very soft type. Daddy Doms are also called Caregivers. There are little to no videos online about this because the most of BDSM you see online is the extreme side. You can go to the resource on this forums and they have a lot of good advices on this lifestyle. You also been together for 10 years, you love her its hard for her to hide it and or suppress her lifestyle. Also you already find it interesting. All you have to o is read up on it. 

 

Your right i could have put that another way, sorry if it did offend people. I have done lots of reading on the topic and in most cases it's all the same rehashed stuff. But i have also found it go's from one extreme to another... and it's lead me to the question if people who post about DD/lg stuff are not into the incest thing like us.. why is there not more vids and stuff available? You would think even in the porn industry someone would have taped into what is effectively a niche market. As the following in the DD/lg unless i'm mistaken is quite large and growing all the time.

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A lot of BDSM is huss huss to say. You are overthinking it really. It really has nothing to do with incest to a point of the daddy thing. Look around this forum because by reading it offline from website are different than reading it from people who live the lifestyle. 

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My Daddy doesn't lay a hand on me outside of the bed room ((hehe!!)) instead he makes me write line :( Boo!

 

As far as videos go just type in DD/lg on youtube. A plethora of videos comes up, I like the ones with a chibi girl on them. I can't remember the name for the life of me. They are mostly informational, but I would say for more....adult videos instead of putting DDlg or Daddy put the link Ageplay. Although please note ageplay and ddlg aren't the same but often overlap especially in the bedroom.

 

Fun actives in little space I personally enjoy are:

Trips to the mall

Coloring

Bubble baths with daddy washing my hair

Being put down for naps

Stuffie play time

Puppet shows

Jump rope

Riding my biky

Eating large cookies

Playing hide and seek

Having my hair braided

Dress up day with Daddy/stuffies

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*Points to the posts above* What they say Amica, you're overthinking it way too much.

 

You're not weird, and don't try to put a label on yourself. As you noticed, doing that only gets you thinking about other things people with that label 'should' like or dislike. Try to find a dynamic that works for you and your wife and just enjoy it! It's perfectly fine if you don't want to 'hit' your wife (meaning spanks and things like that, not punching in the face :p), it's not mandatory :p

 

And yeah, DDlg and having real kids can be cumbersome, it's hard to separate the two Daddies, although, as you yourself noticed, you can blend them by joining the kids in playtime :)

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You are over thinking it...maybe. The dd/lg term is a term of endearment, generally not incestuous in intent as the porns might try to illustrate. Try to understand the word "dynamics" in your ddlg relationship... You can "play" the incestuous dynamic, if you both want that, but not incest.

Realize also there are littles that are sexual & there are that is non-sexual when in thier little spaces.

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figure out what feels most comfortable for you both.. you been together for a long time and you found this naturally... dont try to conform yourselves to fit in a mold you think this is about... do what is natural.. if she feels a need to be corrected... correct her in a way you would your real children as that is probably what you feel comfortable with already and it will make her feel little because if that is what you do with your real kids then it will make her feel like a real kid also... and just remember that there is no 2 relationships that are exactly the same, just because one needs physical discipline ie spanking.. the next one may only need a time out or corner, or maybe just "the look and a stern voice" as you said above.. to each their own... just because you are in this "lifestyle" does not mean that you have to follow a rule book or guide lines. but it is great that you are reaching out and looking for advice from fellow members. it can get confusing for everyone at times.. and i like to always remind people that... as you say you are "new" dont feel alone because everyone starts somewhere... just do what feels natural to both of you and what is comfortable. 

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Guest littlebitty

Hello there,

I would say  to you it is good to remember that people take the ddlg dynamic to different levels of the extreme, like well anything in life.

 

You are both two consenting adults, you are not hurting anyone.

The ddlg dynamic  is under the umbrella of BDSM. Of course you can have people who feel they only want the care, the protection and the innocent ageplay side to it, who do not feel the sexual side is for them which is completely fine.

On the other side are people like me. I am a 26 year old fully grown woman. Who happens to have her playful, childlike side, who loves games and being innocent and sweet. But i also enjoy knowing I have a daddy who owns me. He protects me, he is my biggest fan and im his. his to use, his to take and his property. I enjoy bondage, restraints, well so much kink and we do enjoy the 'take it for daddy' kind of roleplay. He likes to have a perfect innocent girl he can guide and corrupt. But the point is we as adults have decided this is right for us.

 

Ddlg is misrepresented hugely, either as incest or as all light fluffy rainbows and fairy dust. I just suggest you step away from the porn and focus on what you two both enjoy and reflect back regularly.There are no set rules or ways to do things.

 

P.s I actually have kids too and it can be hard to get your head round at first. Just keep an open mind and talk to lots of people to get a real feel for where your limits lie.

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