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New Beginning Quickly Ending


SweetMarie
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Hi, I'm SweetMarie. I'm new.

I had never really thought much about DDlg/CGl before. At least not as a personal preference. But started a relationship a few months ago that just felt like it had the potential for this dynamic. It's had a strong sexual attraction as well as tenderness & affection. The communication & give/take has seemed good. We recently started talking about BDSM but I haven't mentioned feeling like a little.

I am big in much of my life, but I think that I have dated other littles. This has not turned out well as I always seem to have to take on the role of a big & get taken advantage of plus my needs get neglected :(

I would love to let my guard down & be taken care of more, but my partner has health issues & finds my emotions/anxiety to be too much although I am currently pretty independent. We might be breaking up because of this. I am very sad & can't stop thinking about things. I have tried to be understanding & be a very good girl, but it seems like things are falling apart. I feel like I have no say in the outcome.

(BTW, I am a Switch when it comes to sub/domme behaviours. So I have no problem at all with nurturing him, too).

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It may fall apart and it is sure to hurt but endings can bring about new beginnings as well. the community is very friendly and welcoming so if things do fall apart you can find friends and support here. Welcome the the Forum SweetMarie and I wish you well.

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 As many others here would tell you, the most important thing to do firstly is have an open, honest conversation about your relationship, where it stands now, and where you would like it to go in the future. If you're feeling like your little side is needing care, your partner needs to know about it. Physical ailments and such can be a big weight on relationships, so you need to communicate with your partner about what they need as well. Be supportive and caring in your approach, but if they simply feel it's too much, well there's not much for that other than they focus on caring for themselves. Try to understand that there is a line between BDSM and DD/lg in that the emotional dynamics are different in many cases. Also, is your partner a switch as well? That would be something to discuss, too.

 

 Essentially, everything has to be out in the open between persons in any relationship, without major boundaries, secrets, or people holding back out of fear. Everything needs to be discussed in detail, with openness and honesty first and foremost. If someone is holding something back from the table of discussion, they only hurt the relationship. Also, those who are dealing with serious ailments may need extra care or consideration. They may feel like they need distance at times, or they may feel the opposite. It's up to individuals and how their needs and wants match up with each other at the end of the day.

 

 Take some time to really get it all out on the table with your partner, and if they feel it's just too much to handle, or not their thing, understand that it's okay to move on. I know it can be hard to walk away from a relationship, especially when you are emotionally invested, but life does go on. If you cannot create a balance between your needs and the needs of your partner, then something has to change. You might have to end the romantic phase of the relationship and remain supportive friends, or you may have to simply move on completely. No one can make that decision for you, however.

 

 I hope this was more helpful to you in your situation. Be well, and while you're here, make some friends :) There are a lot of littles/middles here who can offer you added support and care, as well as a few Caregivers who are more than willing to offer their insight.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Good news! He offered me an apology & said many validating things. We still have things to discuss, but we seem to be on the same page of figuring things out :)
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