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Too Old?


tarnished_angel
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This is my first time ever asking anything on a forum as Im shy and dont normally have the strength. I dont know if this has been asked before. I read the posts by littles..the personals..the advice, and I wonder if Im too old? Im 40 and right now Im wondering if I should pull on my big girl panties and forget this side of myself

I'm new to finding out about the dynamic,in fact,I didn't even know it existed and that what I loved had a name until I read about it on fetlife. I feel like crying that I may have found out too late

  :unsure:

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No one is too old, there are also many 'older' doms them you, if you're scared of not having a dom. Amd if you already have a partnet, just tell him/her about it :).
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Quick answer - no of course you're not too old!!!!

 

You may see more younger littles because, like BDSM and asexuality and etc etc etc, public awareness of alternative lifestyles around sexuality (etc) is just booming in the last decade or so and people are finding out about this stuff younger and younger thanks to the net. You can be a little no matter your age (and a big no matter your age) and a little no matter your height or weight too - which seem to be the other things people worry about most.

 

This is an imperfect analogy because big/little can be a bit more of a lifestyle thing, but would you say someone who liked to be a kitty wasn't allowed because she wasn't an actual cat? Nope. And think it through more too - at what age should someone grow out of being little? Does that mean it's just a phase? You will find most people who identify as it don't identify with it like that.

 

But maybe what you worry about is conforming to some idealized version of what Daddies are looking for. Heh. That may be a valid concern to an extent. A lot of the people who claim the title 'daddy' might be only interested in the young, shaved, thin etc etc etc fetishised version of a little. But you know what? Not to shame that preference but can you see already how it has a very sexual emphasis? Maybe you don't want to be attracting that energy anyway.

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Thank you for your replies. You're right Wolf..it's not a phase,it's something I've felt for many many years..to the point I wondered if I had mental health issues because I didn't feel 'grown up' ..this was before I knew about the dynamic.

I know one day my Daddy will come along, so I'm not scared about that :) I'm patient.

It is just the fact  .. am I too old, but you've all answered that beautifully and made me cry xxxx :wub:

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Guest little domi

Never too old! I'm 46, and although I've tried to yank up my "big girl britches" and just forget about my little side altogether, I cannot. When the little pokes through, it's nothing I've tried to do, *pooof* I just am, and that's all there is to it.  Every part of you, makes you who you are, and I bet you're pretty awesome. :)

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*waves*

Never ever EVER too old to be a little

I'm 36 and "in shape" (hey round is a shape) :p

I am not the "idealized" little

And guess what that's AWESOME!

We are not cookies! We are each our own unique most awesome individuals.

Yeah I admit sometimes my Bigness tries to bully my little side and tells me to "grow up"

:p

To quote Peter Pan "if growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree I won't grow up never grow up NOT ME"

IMHO life is meant to be enjoyed! So who cares if my idea of a good time is snuggles with stories and grilled cheese and chocolate milk??

TA you are amazing:) enjoy being you.., all of you... Every LITTLE bit :)

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Guest starrflower
I had the same exact worries! I thought I was too late to explore the little in me when I figured out what this was. I am 45. Wolfdaddy made a really good point. We didn't have the resources when we were younger that there are now.
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Thank you everyone. Your words really helped. I don't feel quite so silly anymore or like crying about this.
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Guest Thomas

Nobody's too old. :) Be yourself, and be happy you have found this side of yourself. Embrace it! Everyone here will give you their 100% support I'm sure.

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Omg I just found this forum and so thankful! I'm 45 and new to the little/dd but I've known for years this was something I wanted and needed and now I have a wonderful daddy and I can honestly say I've NEVER been so happy or more comfortable with myself or life!
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I will be 44 on Sunday and my story is very very similar to yours. I also question if I'm too old. And just recently I've told myself that "little me" can't exist. That there is no room for her. And my significant other is really proving to not be Daddy material which leaves me feeling very neglected. So I've been considering that Little Me just needs to go in to hiding. That depresses me. Everyone here makes me feel accepted though.
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Thank you all for your kind responses. It's also awesome to know I'm not the only 'older' little here. I am not going to worry about my age,I am going to embrace myself and my little side
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Guest GrapeApe

Great Question, thanks for all the answers.  I am 37 and a newbie Daddy / Caregiver.  I can only imagine there are all types of ages involved in the DD / LG 'Spectrum.'  I am glad to know of others who are on the 'older' side, so you should be encouraged, too!  Best of luck...

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Guest starrflower

I will be 44 on Sunday and my story is very very similar to yours. I also question if I'm too old. And just recently I've told myself that "little me" can't exist. That there is no room for her. And my significant other is really proving to not be Daddy material which leaves me feeling very neglected. So I've been considering that Little Me just needs to go in to hiding. That depresses me. Everyone here makes me feel accepted though.

I feel sad to hear you say that your little may need to go into hiding :(   I have felt the same way.  Maybe no matter how old we get our little will always be there <3  I just hope you don't feel you need to push away your little because your partner isn't a daddy.  My ex was a dominant guy, but not a daddy either. 

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Guest Elencha

I will be 44 on Sunday and my story is very very similar to yours. I also question if I'm too old. And just recently I've told myself that "little me" can't exist. That there is no room for her. And my significant other is really proving to not be Daddy material which leaves me feeling very neglected. So I've been considering that Little Me just needs to go in to hiding. That depresses me. Everyone here makes me feel accepted though.

I've felt this way plenty in the few months since I found out that DDlg was a thing. I'll be 40 on Thursday, and it may just be unrealistic at this point to think I'll ever find a Daddy. A boyfriend isn't difficult but a daddy is forever. (I will never use the phrase I have read so often "my former daddy") But that being said, I'll never stop being a little. I couldn't stop being a little any more than I could stop being my brother's sister. I am who I am. And you are who you are. Who you are or are not with really can't and shouldn't change that. Be you. If he decides to step up into the role, great; if he doesn't, sucks to be him, you are still you.

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I may be 20 but that doesn't make it a bad thing! I've always thought that the best thing in life is to be yourself, do what makes you happy despite what others may say! :D If you want to be 70 years old and cuddle up next to your daddy and sit in pj's watching cartoons etc then I say you have every right to do whatever! :)

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Guest yossarian

There is never too old. I am 42 and am intrigued by older littles/middles.

I think, if anything the dynamic can be stronger if the little/middle is older. Its about expressing inner feelings and sometimes life and experience givesus older ones a more nuanced vocabulary, more ways to express ourselves. 

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I am 47 and just realizing I am a little. It makes me so sad because my husband has never been the protective nurturing sort. I am scared that I can no longer hide this part of me. It needs fed. I found out about 9 months ago that he had a yr long affair supposedly partly because I was very sick and "unavailable" though not in a sexual way. This shows his selfish streak. I love him but I wonder if this is the time to break out and live something new. Very sad
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I'm sorry littleinhiding. My ex also is very selfish. Something I knew but thought I could change or hoped would change. I was with my ex for the better part 27 years. We were actually married for 13 of them, divorced, and then made another go the past couple years. But a leopard doesn't change its spots. And though I do love him, or think I do/did, whatever, I know he is toxic for me. I just found out in the past year that I'm a little. Never knew there was a name for me. My ex and I discussed it and he agreed and was seemingly supportive. I opened up a lot to him and then things went south. Now he knows things that I don't want getting out. Nobody really knows about my little side but him. He can be very vindictive. And that has me nervous. But mostly I have come to the conclusion that "Little Me" really can't exist right now. I've never really had a comfortable situation to let her out anyway. I'm 44 years old and maybe I'll never get to just be me.
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Guest Elencha

@nobodysprinces - First of all, quit worrying about it getting out. I know, we all do to some extent or in some way. It's way easier said than done, but it can be done. I think vanilla is an illusion anyway, everybody's got a little freak in them whether they admit it or not, whether they know it or not. People who are gonna judge you for a little kink like this when some of the stuff I've seen on fetlife exists aren't worth your time.

You need to be true to you. You aren't really going to let some judgmental jerks stop you from being who you are, are you? Hypothetical judgmental jerks, at that. Both my sisters have made lifestyle choices which I don't approve, I told them. They did not give two tenths of a damn. Even though we love each other, even though I'm the big sister. And guess what, I got over it. And I don't love them any less. They are still my babies and I'd still kill anyone who looked like they might make one of them feel even the slightest hurt. Their kink is not my kink, and that is okay. Most people realize this eventually however they flail their arms and stomp their feet at first.

 

Secondly, I know from selfish exes. Screw him, who needs him. Intentionally losing his phone number is my best advice here. I have an ex who was about the most selfish bag of dicks you can imagine. I left him six years ago and didn't look back. It hurt. It hurt so much I thought my heart would actually explode from my chest. But the hurting stopped, eventually. He found my number last year and apologized for being a giant bag of asshole. It happens that way sometimes, when they realize you aren't going to be a doormat.

 

So, my point is, let your freak flag fly. Those who are worth it will get over it, those who aren't won't, but then, they aren't worth it.  :p

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I am new to this too and am thinking he ju SD t might use it against me. We will soon see. I agree, nobodysprincess. E your own princess. Love and nurture the little inside you the way you would love and nurture a friend in the same place.Love that little girl. She deserves it. Thank you guys.
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