Jump to content

Monogamous DD/lg Relationships


Guest hislittlestar22
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest hislittlestar22

Hello,

 

I'd love to connect with other littles (or daddies!) who are in a monogamous, one partner, dd/lg relationship. Are you guys 24/7 ddlg? Long distance or live in same place/live together? Were you together before you discovered/started a dd/lg life style or met through a dd/lg personal ad?

 

My Daddy and I fell in love a few years before finding the dd/lg dynamic, and for me, realizing that I was a little was like being able to truly breathe fully for the first time. We've been trying out the dynamic for about 10 months now and are currently transitioning into more of a 24/7 submissive and little framework (with potentially adopting more power control boundaries). We are long distance due to non-ddlg reasons right now, but will hopefully be living together in the next 8-12 months. 

 

For me, being little is a part of my personality and something now that I can't live without. For my Daddy, being a daddy definitely comes naturally to him, but I don't think it's the same connection that I feel with my little side. Due to this, I've been the driving force behind adopting the ddlg dynamic and figuring out how to structure our relationship around the framework going forward. It's been a lot of responsibility for a little! But I'm hoping as we learn and adjust and adapt to what works best for us, my Daddy will be able to sense better what his roles are in the 24/7 dynamic, what he wants, and how we can both find our best selves. 

 

I'd love to hear about your experiences and share my own - I'm looking for a community with a similar relationship style to bounce ideas off of and bond with :)

 

:wub:  hislittlestar

 

Sidenote: If you are not in a monogamous relationship or are in a poly relationship, feel free to of course comment and I'd love to connect with you too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest sweetbabibunny

Hi! My Daddy and I have know each other for 5 years and been together a little over a year. We are monogamous and 24/7 haha. That is the whole reason we joined here is to make friends :D We do live together :) im a housewife so, yeah haha.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest hislittlestar22

Hi Bunny Princess :) Thanks for responding! I'm also looking to make friends as my Daddy and I aren't "out" to anyone in our life (and don't plan on being so), and sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to who understands being a little and daddies. May I ask if you and your daddy started out as 24/7 in ddlg, and if not, was it a natural transition? Do you have any advice for a little who is working on changing the dynamic to be more encompassing? My Daddy is so supportive and encouraging but just doesn't know much about what having a submissive means! I'd be happy to talk over message if you're open to that, or if its easier :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hai!

 

My Daddy and I are monogamous and in a LDR DD/lg relationship. We've known each other for 5 years, been together for 3 years and have been living the lifestyle for maybe several months. We started with a more traditional D/s relationship but the underlying dynamic has always been DD/lg, when we really started getting into it and researching we realized there were more of those characteristics present much earlier on in our vanilla relationship.

 

We had to and have to communicate a lot to make sure we are both getting what we need, it's my biggest advice to you. Communicate, communicate, communicate! We've learned a lot along the way and I'm sure there's more we don't know but that's why we're here, like minded friends to talk and discuss!

 

:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest buddhagirl

Daddy and I are monogamous by nature and live together--married, actually. We have four child between us and we both have full-time careers as well as aging parents to care for, volunteer duties and hobbies. We live full and complicated lives. Your question is complicated because our lives are complicated. I am always Daddy's little girl, Daddy is always Daddy. We find opportunities to have dedicated Daddy/little girl time as we can, and do/say little things to acknowledge each other throughout the day of our roles. I call Daddy, Daddy almost all of the time, I follow my rules, I ask for permission to have a grown-up drink, Daddy gives my owie a kiss if I get hurt, etc. He always tells me when I've been a good girl in getting my responsibilities done and I am ALWAYS available to Daddy in all ways and I am always deferential to Daddies decisions. He is always Daddy and my dominant. Sometimes I feel like I'm not his little girl and he isn't Daddy because we're both so busy and I have to act grown up so much of the time, but Daddy will always step in and correct and remind me of who I really am and that I'm his. So, we are 24/7, but no one but us know. 

 

We started out in an a typical relationship and naturally moved into bdsm fairly quickly (I've been into bdsm as long as I can remember) and then into DDlg about six months into the relationship. Neither of us had ever heard of DDlg, let alone had a DDlg relationship before. But I just felt compelled to call him Daddy and he fell into being a caretaker. Finding this kind of relationship was like finding a big part of my true self. I really pushed for it and needed a lot from Daddy. At first I felt the need to have written rules and more protocols than I do right now. Things evolve over time and change. Honestly, I don't think I could ever get as much of Daddy's attention and time as I'd like, but I love our family, partnership and lives.

 

Please let me know if you have any other questions for me or Daddy (I can always ask him). 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest hislittlestar22

Hi DaddysLolita and buddhagirl! Thank you so much for responding :) It's so nice to know there are other monogamous littles and daddies out there who are making it work, despite the complicatedness of every day life! That's definitely something my Daddy and I are struggling with..fitting the dynamic into everything else we have going on. I appreciate this advice so much...if I can ever offer you any, please let me know!

 

DaddysLolita - My Daddy and I also noticed hints at the dynamic present back when we were vanilla, which I think is why finding ddlg was so refreshing for me, because it spoke to something that was already there! I'll definitely take that advice of communication. I'm trying to do that by gathering up as much information as I can to better help my Daddy and I make this transition. I just had a conversation with him last week where he said he'd be willing to commit to a more 24/7 dynamic, which was a huge step! Do you have any concrete ideas for ways to make sure the communication is happening, especially in an LDR? Daddy and I text constantly and say goodnight before bed every night, but sometimes its hard to figure out when/how to have those more intensive conversations when we're so far apart and exhausted by work/family/life...Thank you so much for your response! 

 

buddhagirl - ohmygoodness I resonate so much with the first paragraph you wrote...my Daddy and I don't have kids (although, we are planning on marriage and a family once we are financially able!), but he works full time far away and I am currently working two jobs to save up for graduate school in the fall (plus lots of commitments to our families). Basically, life is BUSY. Before we had the conversation about committing to a more "full time" ddlg dynamic, it felt like days or sometimes a week or so would go by where I couldn't share my little side with him, which was very hard for me. Its a part of who I am, and I want to still find that time and have that little structure, even with the adult world taking up so much time and effort and work. I am definitely going to show him what you wrote, because I would like to incorporate ddlg at the base of everything (like calling him Daddy all the time and always being available to him/submissive, and having little moments where he makes sure I know I'm a good girl - or a naughty one, honestly). I think its hard for my Daddy because he doesn't need to control as much as I need to him to have control, which means its not as natural but he's open to it. May I ask how your daddy reacted to you pushing a lot for the dynamic? I feel like I need a lot from my Daddy and I don't want to overwhelm him (he is already stressed out from work!), but still get the point across that I want to be my best self and I really believe that this dynamic is right for me and for us and can get us there. He's so supportive, understanding, eager, and open, but I'm not sure he quite understands the degree to which I'm looking for...Thank you again for responding, and I'm so glad you love where you and your daddy are at :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You could consider a "check in", maybe once a week or whatever your schedule permits where you both know the idea is to set aside maybe a half hour to an hour to specifically discuss Daddy/little things. If something comes up that needs further discussion you could set aside time specifically for that topic.

 

I know it sounds weird to plan to talk but when life gets busy you want to make sure it's happening at a good time for both of you. Avoiding distractions and having the attention needed to be productive.

 

:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh yes it's so nice to see a post like this! My Daddy and I just started dating about a month ago but we are very monogamous. He was in an open relationship for three years (at the girls request) and I think it really hurt him emotionally. He didn't know what DDLG was before we met but he's fallen into the role so naturally. We both need someone we can be completely devoted to.

 

I am super lucky that my Daddy only lives about about 30 minutes from me, so we see each other quite often. However, I am in my junior year of college so I am very busy with school responsibilities. I think it's as other people have said making your relationship dynamic a priority and having specific time set aside to be little with your Daddy.

 

I could never have imagined being 24/7 with someone in the past (and we certainly aren't now,) but my Daddy makes me feel like that would be an amazing reality someday. Although I personally need to work, I couldn't sit at home all day while he was at work Id go crazy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest hislittlestar22

Hi there littleprincess94 :) I'm so glad you and your daddy both felt so natural in the ddlg roles! I totally understand where you're coming from in terms of needing to work..I'm constantly torn between wanting to have that housewife role and devote myself to taking care of my Daddy, but there's other factors keeping me working and in school. I still want the 24/7 dynamic underscoring my Daddy's and my relationship, even if it isn't in maybe a "traditional" sense? And I agree - it's really nice to see so many other little/daddy couples :)

 

Thanks again, DaddysLolita! I think I'll try suggesting that to my Daddy, maybe a weekly scheduled check-in, just to make sure those conversations are happening and nothing is getting lost in the day to day stress of life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest buddhagirl

 I think its hard for my Daddy because he doesn't need to control as much as I need to him to have control, which means its not as natural but he's open to it. May I ask how your daddy reacted to you pushing a lot for the dynamic? I feel like I need a lot from my Daddy and I don't want to overwhelm him (he is already stressed out from work!), but still get the point across that I want to be my best self and I really believe that this dynamic is right for me and for us and can get us there. He's so supportive, understanding, eager, and open, but I'm not sure he quite understands the degree to which I'm looking for...Thank you again for responding, and I'm so glad you love where you and your daddy are at :)

Yes, I feel like I pushed harder than I wanted to because I really felt (and still feel, sometimes) like I need more in the dynamic than he's doing. He reacted like my Daddy, that is to say, he was patient, methodical, a little stubborn and refused to be told what to do by a little girl.  :rolleyes: I told him many times how important spending time with Daddy as my little is to me, and he did what he wanted to do...which he gets to because he's the boss. I realized that my leading was just another way of me not allowing him to be superior, my caretaker, my guide, my teacher, my DADDY. All of the things I really wanted! I needed to sit back and let him be the Daddy he wanted to be, not the one I wanted him to be. And it is working out. I've learned to trust his lead a lot more and just when I think he doesn't care about me being his little girl anymore (and I'm still impatient, so this can happen daily), he will do or say something that makes it clear everything is just as it has been. I needed it a lot more, though, in the first year of our dynamic because I needed a lot of reassurance that he really wanted to be my Daddy and that this wasn't going to just go away. I was so afraid he was just doing because I wanted it so much and that he would get tired of it and stop. 

 

Hope that helps! :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm also monogamous with my Daddy. We've been together almost 4 years, live together and have only just recently transitioned into the ddlg lifestyle. I actually didn't realize I was a little until I got comfortable enough with him to start calling him Daddy and let my little side out.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Thanks again, DaddysLolita! I think I'll try suggesting that to my Daddy, maybe a weekly scheduled check-in, just to make sure those conversations are happening and nothing is getting lost in the day to day stress of life.

You're welcome! Daddy and I wrote a resource topic on being LDR, https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/6611-living-the-cgl-lifestyle-at-a-distance/

 

Mebbe you might find something useful in there!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest hislittlestar22

I realized that my leading was just another way of me not allowing him to be superior, my caretaker, my guide, my teacher, my DADDY. All of the things I really wanted! I needed to sit back and let him be the Daddy he wanted to be, not the one I wanted him to be. And it is working out. 

 

Thanks again, buddhagirl! That definitely does help! I think I'm trying to lead right now too, because I'm so so worried that if I don't get us started, my Daddy will forget about being my Daddy and just stop. I want to build a foundation for him to then find his daddy-style and really take the lead and take control. Maybe I'll see if he can be more involved in this research/transition process, instead of just agreeing and following with what I say...I want to be taken care of, I'm the little! But I also feel like I have to push right now because I'm the one who discovered the dynamic and is the one who feels like she needs it, whereas he wants me to be happy and wants to fulfill my needs, but may not need it himself as much. Anyway I'll stop rambling :) I'm so so glad you and your daddy have found your rhythm and it works for you!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest hislittlestar22

Thanks for responding poutypeachprincess :)

 

Thank you too for responding lilstrawberrie! I'm glad you were able to find your little side with your daddy :)

 

And thank you, Rosie, for responding! Do you mind if I ask how the transition was for you and your daddy when you moved in and went to 24/7 ddlg? Do you have any advice for someone transitioning to that full time dynamic right now? (Although it'll be a mix of ddlg and d/s for my Daddy and I)

 

Thanks EVERYONE :heart:  So nice to hear about so many littles and their daddies in a similar relationship style. If anyone else has questions or wants advice, feel free to post as well! This could be a hang out/chat thread for any monogamous littles to ask questions  ^_^ (and anyone else, of course, open/poly/whatever!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Heya! I'm monogamous and engaged, and looking for lifestyle friends of all shapes and sizes.

 

I have a lovely submissive of my own (going on five years!), though she doesn't identify as little. We started as vanilla, but dove headfirst into 24/7 D/s two years in.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest hislittlestar22

Hi Bull :) Congratulations on five years with your submissive - that's wonderful! Right now I'm transitioning my Daddy and I to ddlg 24/7, but it will really be d/s with ddlg elements..Do you or your submissive have any advice for ways to incorporate submissive behavior into every day life? How was the transition for you all? My Daddy and I also started out vanilla and have been exploring ddlg for about 10 months.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm surprised and delighted to see that there are plenty of monogamous folks here! Here I was under the impression that monogamy in BDSM is unusual :p

 

Daddy and I began our relationship as LDR and vanilla. About 5-6 months in it came to light that we both had an interest in D/s and it took another month for me to get the courage to talk about DD/lg specifically because historically revealing that part of myself has not gone well. But to my surprise he was fully on board! And we transitioned our dynamic from a more Master/pet relationship to DD/lg and the rest is history ^_^

 

I moved to be with Daddy after 8 months or so if being together...pretty quick. But it was a golden opportunity and it really has been for the best. We are as 24/7 as is presently possible right now and have been for a year ^_^ hopefully in the next 5 months or so it will be 24/7 for real though. If you check out my tumblr page and search the tag "homework" you can find a lot of stuff about our day to day lives ^_^

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Dollycupcake

Im in a monogamous realtionsship me and my CG/daddy were at first best friends when we became boyfriend and girlfriend and we have now been that for soon 4 years we are not ddlg 24/7 in all ways im little but im also very much my own adult we live in the same town and see each other at least twice a week these days I have rules and he is my caregiver but we are also ''just'' girlfriend and boyfriend which I love both he is my caregiver my boyfriend my best friend and the one I share everything with :)  And I have always been a very little personality and he has always been my caregiver in some way even before we knew about this. :) But know we now so much about it and found a whole new world it really is great. :) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...