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Guest Bubblegumbrat
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Guest Bubblegumbrat

 

I dunno if this happens to anyone else or is it just me?

Whenever I start talking to a potential daddy online they seem to just stop talking after a few days or weeks with No explanation, they just completely ignore me. Its happened a few times now and I'm starting to think it's my fault, maybe I'm not a good enough little. But at the same time I think maybe they are not genuine daddies, because a daddy knows cutting contact or ignoring a little is one of the worst things you can do (especially if the little is needy). Its really upsetting me and I kinda wish I could just stop being a little because I get hurt too easily :(

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Sorry to hear that, BGB. But yeah, it feels to me like the online world is often a place where people who aren't honest in some way get to play out other identities or fantasies or whatever. I think this is so often the nature of online things. For obvious reasons. So many of the sad stories you hear in this community are of people flaking out online for one reason or another - and I guess it's just soooo much harder to get a feel for who someone really is because it's easy to pretend one way or another. So I don't think this is about you at all. It's absolutely possible and even common to meet really genuine and amazing people online who are far away physically. And how miraculous it is we live in a time when that is even possible!?! I think you need to go into every online encounter just with openness and expecting the best and maybe some new adventure. But at the same time you need to be smart. Is someone rushing into some kind of set and narrow 'role'? Do they seem like a genuine 3d person in how they are presenting themselves? Are they just wanting to rush into sexually charged talk, or are they really interested in who you are as a person (and not just pretending an interest as a means to an end)? Are they treating you like a kink or fetish? Are they available? Are they consistent? Do their words and actions align? Do they have a social media presence and are you allowed to be part of it? If not why not? Are they reliable? Do they have other previous littles or other people in the community who can vouch for them? All that. Like so many things, For me it's really a gut feeling - is this person presenting the fullness of who they are and not avoiding or being less interested in talking about some aspects of themself? Are their answers a bit cookie-cutter or saying the sorts of things they think I might want to hear? I think you need to talk to a lot of people and get a bit of experience to be able to tell what is and isn't legit. I would always encourage someone new online to talk to a LOT of different people - to make friends with many daddies and ESPECIALLY other more experienced littles. There are so many ways to do this that its really important to get to know lots of daddies (if you are a little) and get a feel for whet different kinds there are and how they do things differently and how that sits with you. The more daddies you know the better your chances of knowing good ones - if I am dating someone inexperienced I would always encourage them to talk to lots of people. Littles (and daddies too sometimes) can get attached quickly. And that's actually a really beautiful thing. But online it has huge downsides and don't get attached too quickly! Give time for someone's true colours to show. Use things like skype where you can get a feel for someone's body language and eye contact and other social cues and nuances. Text is very abstract - but at the other end of the online continuum things like Skype conversations are much more human. But even then, because there isn't the resonance and humanity of an in-person connection, people sometimes just fade - because whatever excitement they were looking for they got and it just becomes less engaging for them. I would agree that these people are being incredibly selfish and not appreciating/respecting/caring for the humanity of the other person. To just cut off from anyone you've had any kind of genuine intimate experience with emotionally is just - well, it's not at all a sign of good character and means that person has some harmful issues right now. I don't know - but I think a good approach in life is just to take every encounter with another human being for exactly what it is, and to enjoy what is there rather than what isn't. But if you feel and find yourself being taken advantage of - well you have to learn how to look after yourself a bit better. That's not about closing yourself off from possibilities. It's just about learning how to set tests for people in the right way, and have fun, and only go deeper when you're really sure in your heart it is right to, and that you are coming from a healthy place with that yourself. Some littles sometimes feel pouty or sad about the need to take care of themselves a bit. But with things like this it is important to learn how to. Then it's not a choice between stopping being anything vs getting hurt - it's just a choice about how slowly you want to let yourself unfold with the right person. And hey - if something is real and going to be around for a long time, no need to rush it, right? To me, rushing things often has an edge of desperation about it, and that desperation tells me someone is wanting a need fulfilled rather than wanting to build something full and well rounded.
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It can happen in real life too. It has happened to me.

 

I agree with what wolfdaddy says. He is pretty smart for his years.

 

If they are rushing you or wanting to call you nicknames right away or revert to the words Daddy or Little right away, big flag. If they just want to talk about sex right away, big flag.

 

Just take it slowly.

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Guest Bubblegumbrat

Thanks for the replies guys. Wolfdaddy you made a lot of really good points I think I will refer back to your comment whenever I need too.

♡♡☆☆

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