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Deal Breakers


TurtleTheKittenTamer
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In a relationship, what would be a dealbreaker for you?

What are the nevers that if ever done even once or you feel the relationship must end?

Edited by TurtleTheKittenTamer
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Guest ScarletBlue

I feel like smokers and drinker are a deal breaker. Mainly smoking. I can understand going out with friends or going to party and have a few drinks but not enough to get drunk.

 

And if he was too controling, that is also a deal breaker.

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Guest StainedBlack

I have quite a few. It might be because I'm crazy, but it might be because I know exactly what I want.

 

The common ones apply.

 

Lying

Cheating

Smoking

Hiding stuff

Drinking

Voting for trump

Drugs

 

I have some other ones too.

 

Has/wants children. I do not.

Religious

Has many male friends.

Needs to keep social media private. Mine is open and hers should be too.

If they want to be financially supported

No common sense

No critical thinking skills

No goals

Too overweight. A little thick is fine but I think past a certain point it's lazy/negligent (unpopular opinion)

Doesn't share hobbies

Can't keep up a conversation or doesn't put effort in.

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Guest kyril

I think the most obvious to me, even though I'm quite a forgiving person, but if and when my partner ever sleeps with another person while in a relationship with me there's no recovering from that and it's over.

 

Others I can think of right now are: stealing, drug addict, flirting with other dudes, keep questioning my love and or trying to make me jealous, dishonesty.

Edited by kyril
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Guest BittyKitty
If he gives me reason to doubt my safety while under his care, whether emotionally, mentally or physically, that's a definite deal breaker. At best, we could continue as a vanilla couple, at worst, a clean cut. Fastest way to scare me off would be to invade my personal space (without permission) and making me feel completely defenseless (and not the fun way).
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In the past, cheating has been a deal breaker for me. One of my exes was shocked when I told her that. She said everybody does stuff they regret when they're drunk. But that's not much of an excuse when you're talking to a guy who's never been drunk in his life.

 

These days I wouldn't call cheating a deal breaker though, because I don't expect it to happen. I understand psychology and sexuality better now, so if somebody cheated on me, I'd see it as my fault for neglecting our relationship to the extent where she'd even consider it. (I wouldn't apply that standard to anyone else, of course.)

 

I've had girls test me before. Actually, the same girl as thought drunk cheating should be forgiven. We hooked up on OkCupid, and a few minutes later she started messaging me from a different name, pretending to be a completely different girl who was interested in me.

 

I told her immediately that some other girl was talking to me, and although I kept talking to both, I never showed any interest in the "other" girl. It didn't take me long to figure out that they were the same person. The whole thing was kinda fun, really. So testing me wouldn't be a deal breaker either.

 

To be honest, I think most deal breakers would come up before the relationship started. Like playing hard to get. If you act like you're not interested in me, I'm going to treat you like you're not interested in me. Until we have a safeword, no means no -- even if it's said with a coy smile. I'd much rather spend my time with someone who can be genuine about her emotions.

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This is a hard one. I'm naturally very forgiving. Umm...I think my only deal breaker would be an irreparable violation of trust.
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Guest DaddyXavier

Biggest one is being too much of an investment for too little in return (or only the possibility of a return), or wanting to go at a snail's pace (which is also about investment - of time). 

 

Another big one is running hot and cold and constant excuses when I want my needs met, but those excuses being absent when her needs are being met.

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Guest DaddyXavier

I have quite a few. It might be because I'm crazy, but it might be because I know exactly what I want.

 

The common ones apply.

 

Lying

Cheating

Smoking

Hiding stuff

Drinking

Voting for trump

Drugs

 

I have some other ones too.

 

Has/wants children. I do not.

Religious

Has many male friends.

Needs to keep social media private. Mine is open and hers should be too.

If they want to be financially supported

No common sense

No critical thinking skills

No goals

Too overweight. A little thick is fine but I think past a certain point it's lazy/negligent (unpopular opinion)

Doesn't share hobbies

Can't keep up a conversation or doesn't put effort in.

 

I agree with most of these. Especially the private social media thing. I dislike guarded people - it's a real turn off, especially if you're supposedly trying to build a relationship.

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Common stuff like lying and cheating as said above. Oh god, you shouldn't be doing that to anyone really, not just in relationships.

 

To me, someone who can't control their anger is the bigggggggest turnoff. Someone who throws stuff, has their voice raised or even scream, or someone who becomes violent. I see no hope in continuing to be around that person. It scares me and it'd feel like there is no way to solve problems if the other person's just going to be angry instead of trying to analyze/solve problems.

 

And maybe a less serious slash kinda funny turn off that came into mymind. Haha kissing without brushing teeth? hehe its not a hard limit but i just LOVE the freshy-ness in a mouth. I kinda like brushing my teeth too. I kinda like that cold and freshy mouth when I kiss right after brushing teeth.

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Smoking is a huge turn off, and if they don't try to limit the use when around me at the least, that's a major deal breaker :/ I just cant stand the taste..
A second is if they don't rave. You can dance if you want to, you can leave your friends behind, but if they don't dance and IF they don't dance, then their, no friend of mine..

Use of drugs in front of me.. this goes for almost anything, I don't mind knowing they do such if they are responsible so long as its not meth or some shit (I am a raver so its common knowledge..)

Meeting the parents... I do not, like this at all.. I am typically put in a situation because I seem like a reasonable guy. But I really don't want to be known as the guy taking your girl out to a rave or treating her like a 4 year old or such >>

 

Everything else is pretty reasonable, I'm poly so I don't mind if they see other people :x I understand people have urges and people lie, you don't need to tell me everything if its just going to be a lie so I typically don't ask much.

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Deal breakers for me are something that prevents even a slight interest for me so it doesn't even get to the cheating, lying, trust stuff.

 

No job

Addict of any sort

Doesn't have their own home

Hadn't finished grade school as a minimum

No hobbies

Can't hold a conversation that isn't about TV

Makes racial or sexist comments

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Guest little domi

I'm a pretty open-minded person. There isn't much in a person that I cannot appreciate except... LYING... and DISRESPECT. In my mind, it all boils down to the those two things for me, and they seem to go hand-in-hand. Nothing makes me dropkick a person faster than those two things.

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  • Judgmental comments

  • Cheaters, obviously

Laughs/picks on people he/she doesn't even know

No humor whatsoever : I need to laugh !!

Pretentious attitude : thinks they're better than everyone else, has social double standards, that kind of stuff.

Is a lot smaller than I am : I'm mostly attracted to tall people. ; - ;

Isn't into anything Asia related : most of the things I'm into / hobbies are Asia related, including TV shows / movies I like and the way I dress.

Racist / sexist / anti-LGBT comments : this is just not gonna happen lmao try me

Drug nazi : I've been using marijuana for a long time, and for good reasons. I totally respect and envy those who don't use it, but if you can't understand that sometimes it's the only option left (or make me feel really bad about it), then this is not going anywhere. I can't live with upsetting my SO for something I already feel bad about.

Drug user who brags / thinks smoking makes them gangsters : I strongly dislike that stupid "smoke weed everyday 420" weed culture. I'm also very shy and terribly anxious in public places (^ said good reasons to use marijuana), so talking about it loudly or acting out as if it were their first time smoking is a DEFINITE deal breaker.

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Basically a guy that tells me to give up the ddlg lifestyle. I can't. I'm a child at heart. And while I will be an adult when I want to, when we go to Walmart or to a store, I don't want a guy that looks down on me because I go to the toy section and want to buy a toy
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I believe, the only real deal breaker, is lying. Everything else can fall under that umbrella. If you are in a monogamous relationship and you cheat, I believe that qualifies as a lie.

Always telling the whole truth takes good communication and trust.

So yes, lying is my deal breaker.

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Guest Elencha

I tend to try to take people as individuals rather than lists of qualifications, but there are a few things that are absolute deal breakers.

  • Self-righteous non-smoking (I hate this more than hell, all Montagues and bad pizza)
  • Drug use of any kind other than nicotine, alcohol and caffeine
  • Stupidity
  • Cheating, emotional or physical  (I don't play silly games about whether or not there was actual sex involved.)
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You can dance if you want to, you can leave your friends behind, but if they don't dance and IF they don't dance, then their, no friend of mine..

:heart: :heart: :heart:

Everything else is pretty reasonable, I'm poly so I don't mind if they see other people :x I understand people have urges and people lie, you don't need to tell me everything if its just going to be a lie so I typically don't ask much.

I feel the same way about seeing other people. I do expect my Daddy to be honest about it though. Honesty is pretty important in a relationship. But I also kind of agree with the "you don't need to tell me everything". I don't like sex secrets but I don't need to know every single thing about his life. If he's uncomfortable sharing something, I'm comfortable with letting him keep it to himself.

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Addiction

(And I mean the kind where someone is in so deep they're desperate. Everything revolves around when they'll be able to be drunk/high whatever. Lying, manipulation, someone who is clearly not trying.)

I'm totally fine with smoking weed, because it's something I enjoy myself, but as someone who has struggled with addiction, I find it very hard to deal with someone else's shit when they're VERY deep in it, i.e constantly on their substance of choice, losing everything, caring about it more than me.

 

Not wanting babies. 

 

When someone can't deal with my neediness and jealously. 

 

Not wanting to indulge in my every fantasy (My Daddy isn't usually into certain things that I am, but he says that I have changed that, and anything I'm into makes him hard as a rock.) 

 

Too politically correct - seriously, I hate that shit. 

 

Usually I end up with 'sad guys'. They are my type. I think I can change them and I can't, and it's a big problem because I end up falling in love and getting hurt over and over again most of the time.

Edited by daddyslilpeach
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