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Little who hides things


Mister daddy man

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I'm new to the DDlg scene. In my first real relationship with a Little. Did not start out on the best of foots but has gotten better. I try to be as completely open and honest as I can (not always easy) but I know she is not completely open and honest with me. Various reasons. Outside of forcing her (will not do that, not how I operate normally) how do I get her to open up to me? I've tried sharing my story and that has worked to a degree but she is still very closed off. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
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I know how you feel!

 

I open up easily but my Daddy has lots of trouble talking about the simplest things, like admitting he's feeling sad or saying what's wrong. We've been together for a year now and I still can't get him to tell me when he's feeling down. I was also really scared that he was hiding stuff from me; I was terrified, and yep, it still happens sometimes. The thing is, some people just don't feel comfortable opening up just like that. That's how my Daddy is and I've accepted it; since your relationship is still in its early stages, however, I wouldn't worry too much. It's only normal to hide a few things in the beginning; everybody does it on a different level. A DDLG relationship is still a relationship: it takes time to build it up and you absolutely can't force it. As time goes by and trust builds up between you two, your relationship will get a lot better and she might eventually open up to you. I know it sucks to feel like your SO is hiding things from you, especially in a DDLG relationship. :c Sharing your stories and struggles is a great way to show her that it's safe for her to tell you this kind of stuff, but it doesn't mean she has to share her stuff back to make it up (I know it sounds pejorative, I just suck at writing in english) for the things you shared, either. 

I'd recommend developing your relationship further before thinking of this situation as an issue. Take care of her like you'd normally do, and refrain from directly asking her to open up; it actually works for my Daddy as well, although I can't guarantee anything. Take things slow and easy; a rushed relationship usually doesn't end up well. c: ♥

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I think what I would do in this situation is share my own secrets, let her know that I trust her and I'm here if there's ever anything that she wants to talk about, and then I'd back off.

 

Sometimes people need to have secrets. And if she does want to share it with you, it will be easier on her if you give her the space to decide that for herself.

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Honestly? I find its like any relationship. First you must build repport then deep repport then continue to build with that. The way you "Listen" to her is how she'll eventualy open up and begin to trust herself with you. It takes time. One conversation is not going to do the trick. And when I say listen. its diffrent than listining to her words. It's being empathic and understanding the feeling behind the situation or what she is saying. Never offer suggestions to her when she is opening up. Just a golden rule of thumb.

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Generally for me the ddlg aspect has been behind closed doors for many years so its natural for some littles and bigs to not really open up because of social standards :/ Take her to a place that's beyond the normal Que, Raves, Conventions, Festivals, Fet partys. If you can show her there are various outgoing people she may learn to be more open herself.

In my experience;

 

Raves: Very open people but can also be dangerous(drugs r bad mkay) and it takes time to know those of good vibe nature and sketchy mc sketcher. Dancing is a great way to open the soul and mind, (drinking helps if its hard to go all out, even if its just excess caffeine :o ) People at raves like wearing cute things, even suck on pacifiers(most for reasons other then the little side) so dress up becomes easier as everyone is a freak at a rave. You can also try finding rave esque clubs to help start off if underground warehouses are a bit much for ya(not that those kinds are easy to find anyway)

 

Conventions: I do mostly Anime and game cons, both have people that like dressing up in cosplay and have roleplay dynamics. Helps branch from your normal state of mind. I was once told from a little she found it easier to get into "little space" after practicing live action role playing at some cons. These places also sell some of the cutest things for littles as well. She will definitely love dealer rooms at the least~

 

Festivals: These are the outdoorsy type raves. I would try finding local things and avoid those major things that bring in the masses. A smaller festival brings a better community and you can find it spiritually relieving. Some festivals are clothing optional, so there is nothing like opening up then walking in the nude and being comfortable with your body. These places are best for that experience with low judgement (so long as you find the right kind of festival). Start off with open showers, move to naked swim holes and see where that may take you both.

 

Fet Partys: These are the closest thing to finding other littles and daddy doms directly rather then guessing and asking about based of clothing or accessories at other places. They help you open up to the bdsm world and the ddlg is like a sub category to this. You need to be careful as there are a lot of creeps here as well >< But its a good way to see and learn a lot of dynamics you haven't tried before.

 

Hope that helps, if you live near the north eastern states of the US I can point you in the right direction if any of those sound interesting.

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Thanks for the replies. I just let her know that I'm here for her and ready to listen when she is ready to talk.

This. Just be patient with her. She is only little, afterall.

 

I also have a hard time opening up. My Daddy helps by always being supportive and encouraging when I do open up and never pressuring me when I'm not ready.

 

Good luck :)

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