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Did the ship set sail without us?


Daddy Itzae

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This is a question for Daddies over 45 years old... Have you ever felt like the boat is gone for us?

 

I like my girl to be younger than me, and that has never been a problem in the offline world. In real life I look 5-10 years younger than my chronological age so I still get stares from younger girls.

 

However in here the first thing that people notice is my age (47) in my Personals Ad and in my profile. And no matter that I have a pic there where is clear I don't look my age, all they see now is that I am actually 47. Which I'm ok with by the way, I have never lied about my age and always say the right age when asked about it.

 

The problem I have is that girls I would like to engage with in this forum, with an age range of 25-35 years, when they say they are ok with an "older man" they don't mean a guy 15-20 years older than then, but only around 5 years older or slightly higher. So a girl in the forum who is 25yo and looking for an older guy is actually looking for a guy in his early 30's not late 40's

 

What about the girls out of my preferred age range? Actually most girls in here who are 18-21 really do mean guys over 40 when they say they like older guys. The 3 littles I have had online have all been under 20 and they didn't care about my age, but their parents did and so they made them leave me when they found out about me. And I think I am done with that.

 

Then there's the girls over 35. One, they are scarce here. Two, most of them are married (surprised?) or living with someone and only looking for online with no possible future. Three, I want kids and not one but several, and engaging with a woman over 40 would make that difficult, especially if she already has kids and don't want to start all over again.

 

So all in all I am starting to feel like maybe I came too late to the dd/lg party. I have felt a Daddy for over 20 years but only discovered the community a year ago... and this age gap thing is starting to dawn on me, since the lion's share of girls in here is extremely young.

 

I can always go back to the vanilla world and find me a nice girl in her 30's, but the sad part is once you have tasted dd/lg you can't go back...

 

So, any thoughts and feedback from my fellow older gentlemen here would be greatly appreciated. I know there's not much or nothing we can do about the Littles' preferences regarding age gaps, so this is mostly intended as a chat between us so we can accept reality or find alternatives.

Edited by Daddy Itzae
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Hi Daddy Itzae!

 

I am not a daddy, I am a female little/switch, but I wanted to respond to you. Don't give up on what you're looking for! You might just find it. I am personally not available and fall into the end of the age range you're looking for, but I am involved with someone who is 20+ my age. Everyone is different, and you never know who you will click with. So stay open, and stay hopeful! :) Good luck to you.

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Guest NewYorkDaddy

Not to sound mean but how do you not have children already?

 

Preferences in partners go way beyond the physical. We're not wild animals, so yes you may get glances but the psychological aspect kicks when you court someone.

 

I have no doubt you'll find someone but the reality is you're at a disadvantage to find a fertile young wife.

 

Bind your time, be the best man you can be, who knows what could happen.

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I think you just have to be patient and wait for it to happen organically. I'm 24 and my daddy is 33, and I've always preferred older guys but I never thought I would be with someone 9 years older than me. But now I couldn't be more happier. When we met it was just to talk as friends and it turned out very well for us both, because now we're in love and have each other. My advice is don't try to rush anything, and some littles will not care of any age gap. You just have to wait for that perfect little for you.
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I agree with MadameButterfly. You just haven't met the right person yet =) I'm 26 and married but my husband and I are poly? open? Titles are confusing... but the Daddy I'm looking for (online/real life) is someone between the ages of 35-50. And I have dated someone who was 50. It didn't work out between the gentleman and myself but I'd do it again. It really just depends on the person though. Not everyone is poly and not everyone enjoys the company of older men. It just comes down to if you connect with the person... I wish you lots of luck though =)

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Guest buddhagirl

How long have you been looking? I found my perfect Daddy when I was 45 and he was 36. Now that's crazy! But it happened. Stay open to finding the right person and then see if the DDlg can be integrated. Daddy and I started out just vanilla. We fell in love and have common values, sensibilities, goals, etc. We fell into DDlg after about 8 months. Now we're married and all is bliss! Hang in there. If I can find someone, I KNOW that you can, too.

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I want to thank all the amazing girls who took their time to reply to this thread. Thank you from my heart.

 

It really lifts my spirits knowing you think I still have some hope. And while I am a realistic man I am also hopeful and will keep waiting for the right girl to come along  :)

 

Your words are very insightful and they are exactly what I needed to hear. I wanted opinions of my fellow older gentlemen but I guess they don't want to address the elephant in the room. Good thing you girls are braver and speak your mind in such a clear way and with such encouraging words.

 

So again, thank you so very much, you girls are amazing  :)

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Not to sound negative, because I believe that no age is too old to find love, and also believe that age gaps don't matter and that plenty of young women are attracted to older men (I personally have a 14 year age gap) but it may be possible that a lot of younger women who want children may not be interested in a older man. Reasons being that there are risks involved. Sure an older woman having a baby is a health risk in some cases but for a young woman with an older man there are risks as well. Maybe being worried that you may not be able to keep up with the young children, or that you will retire and finances will be tight, there's collage to consider too and that's expensive. Or the health risks as we get older, what if something were to happen and she's left raising how ever many children all alone?

 

That's just another side to consider. Of course those situations may never come up (besides retiring but who knows what your financial standing is) but those are all thing that could detear a younger woman from wanting an older man, if she wants a family.

 

I still say don't give up, there's someone out there for everyone, but it just may take a while for her to come around.

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Guest BittyKitty

Hi Itzae, I know it's frustrating, but like everyone else said, it's all about how two people connect. Be patient, continue to be the awesome man that you are and there's no way you won't meet someone perfect for you. Then you'll look back and all the waiting will have been worth it.

 

When I was a teenager, I was only into older men. Much older men, with age gaps of 20+. I was naive and never thought about how they were only interested in me because I was young and fresh meat. Thankfully, they were all married (one kept it from me but his aunt told me before anything happened) so nothing ever developed. Now that I'm 26 and no longer so dangerously naive, I try to stay away from large age gaps and stick with guys around my own age, just to be sure that I'm appreciated for who I really am. If a lot of girls between 25-35 don't seem to prefer older men, it's probably because we wised up. Plus, we're no longer the first choice for men who like their women more easily manipulated, we know how to talk back now :p not to mention this annoying thing called self respect that always gets in their way. That said, defense mechanisms aside, it all comes down to individual chemistry. Not all older men who are into younger women choose their partners for youth alone, it might just take a little more time and effort for the good ones to shine.

Edited by BittyKitty
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Hi Itzae, I know it's frustrating, but like everyone else said, it's all about how two people connect. Be patient, continue to be the awesome man that you are and there's no way you won't meet someone perfect for you. Then you'll look back and all the waiting will have been worth it.

 

When I was a teenager, I was only into older men. Much older men, with age gaps of 20+. I was naive and never thought about how they were only interested in me because I was young and fresh meat. Thankfully, they were all married (one kept it from me but his aunt told me before anything happened) so nothing ever developed. Now that I'm 26 and no longer so dangerously naive, I try to stay away from large age gaps and stick with guys around my own age, just to be sure that I'm appreciated for who I really am. If a lot of girls between 25-35 don't seem to prefer older men, it's probably because we've wisened up. Plus, we're no longer the first choice for men who like their women more easily manipulated, we know how to talk back now :p not to mention this annoying thing called self respect that always gets in their way. That said, defense mechanisms aside, it all comes down to individual chemistry. Not all older men who are into younger women choose their partners for youth alone, it might just take a little more time and effort for the good ones to shine.

 

Hello again Itty :)

Thanks for this post, it got me thinking a little.

 

I'm so sorry you had those bad experiences back when you were a teen. Understandably you are now much more on guard regarding older men. And it's a very good thing that you are much wiser now and aren't easily manipulated anymore (and lol about the talk back :p )

While we all have known about these horror stories from very young girls being tricked by older men, you know not all men are like that, but the hard part is to trust again enough to see beyond past experiences.

 

Maybe since my initial post centered in ages and numbers it gave the impression that age is all that matters to me. That is only one of many other things I look for in a girl, and not the most important aspect at all. Being honest, if I could find an available 40ish yo woman with the same youthful spirit and sense of wonder and hope for tomorrow of a 20's something girl I would not think about it twice! I guess what I'm trying to say here is that what I crave is not the physical youth but the emotional and mental youth that usually comes with it. And that's because myself I am still that way inside so I resonate with younger people much more than I relate with my peers... by the way that's why I love my new job teaching ESL to mostly students in their 20's. I feel so full of energy and happy and hopeful while I teach them and the feeling remains for a few days after. 

 

But I feel I am digressing now... I guess what I want to say is that I am in totally agreement with you, it all comes down to chemistry and for that age is secondary. If I can feel that connection with a girl it won't matter if she is in her 20's, 30's or 40's I'll love her all the same. I just have happened to feel that connection more often with people in late teens and 20's since forever... but I am open to any age range.

 

I feel like you and me can keep talking about this for much longer but maybe we should talk more in PM. You know where to find me :)

 

And thanks so much for this post, it was really revealing. It's not that I hadn't thought about it before, but it's always refreshing to find your thoughts resonating with someone else.

Edited by Daddy Itzae
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@ Princess-P

 

Thank you for your post. All those risks and downsides for a girl of entering into a long term relationship with an older man have been considered and then some more. In fact they weight so much in my mind that's one of the main reasons I don't pursue this more aggressively as I have seen other men in here do. There is always a "what if" in my mind regarding my possible family if I ever were to be gone way before my time. Yes, these are not easy decisions and most probably why I am letting this finding a partner more into the hands of fate than into mine.

 

If I was just looking "to have fun" or a fling then I wouldn't think about the future. But I do want a meaningful, long-lasting and hopefully life-lasting relationship, so yes, all those factors you mentioned are present in my mind and heavily weight in my decision process. And if I ever am so lucky to find a girl willing to take those risks with me, we will still have to sit down and talk about it all at length and find a way or decide it's not the best for her.

 

Again, thanks so much for your post :)

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I don't trust most the younger profiles on here myself.

 

I think I know what you mean and where you are coming from, sirdude, but would be so kind and elaborate a bit more?

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Well, I'm not sirdude, but for me personally, sometimes I wonder if a younger girl really knows what she wants. I won't deny that an 18 year old is attractive because of the whole taboo aspect of it. But then I also feel like a woman closer to my own age would probably be a better choice.

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Guest buddhagirl

Well, I'm not sirdude, but for me personally, sometimes I wonder if a younger girl really knows what she wants. I won't deny that an 18 year old is attractive because of the whole taboo aspect of it. But then I also feel like a woman closer to my own age would probably be a better choice.

My Daddy was married to a woman quite a bit younger than himself for 10 years. He is a natural caretaker and guide, and she was very young and immature so he was attracted to that. But it was disaster for him because she lacked confidence, self-esteem, wisdom, etc.--the things that make us older women AWESOME! So now, Daddy loves being with someone that has life experience, clear and strong values, confidence for days and is just generally more mature. Plus, he still gets to be the boss, my Daddy, my owner, because I am also a little girl and a submissive. Relationships are complex and there are many threads that must be woven together to make a good one strong and happy. I think that some CGs think that younger means more submissive or little or adorable. NOT TRUE! I am a very good girl and the sweetest little for my Daddy that there ever was. And I know myself, what I want, how to make myself happy, how to manage life, how to reach my goals, how to truly care for and treat my partner with deep love and respect, everything. It was impossible for me to be the kind of partner I am now 15 years ago.

Edited by buddhagirl
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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest RedDragon
Let me start by saying I'm 37, so I haven't experienced the age gap like you have. But I firmly believe that we all can create our own reality. There IS someone out there for all of us. I trust in that, I speak as if it is so, I behave as if it is so, I know it to be be true. And so it is. Excommunicate all negative thoughts about what it is you want, and instead revel in the perfectness of it all. You become what you think about.
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I firmly believe that we all can create our own reality.

You become what you think about.

 

Those two are truths as big as a mountain. Thanks for reminding me of them. :) Truly from the bottom of my heart.

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I'm not a Daddy and I'm still relatively young, but I thought I'd chime in with some encouragement!

 

I think it really just depends on the person whether or not they want to try to date someone in that age range! My sister married a fella 11 years older than her! I think what really matters is the person's personality, mind, and heart ^_^ Just keep being honest with the people here and try to get to know them as a friend first. Good intentions don't always pave the road to Hell, y'know? Anyways, just keep waiting. You'll find someone meant for you one day and even if you don't, it doesn't say anything about you as a person.

 

However, it should also be noted that many people just feel they don't have anything to connect with someone from another generation. I'm personally pretty chill with it but that could be due to my educational background, as well as my family often marrying people much older/younger than them. Still, it can be intimidating to a lot of people. They don't wanna seem stupid to someone who has a lot more experience and so maybe they don't even bother in the first place :(

 

Still, just give it time. I like to think we all have someone out there for us.

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  • 2 weeks later...

While I'm still in the process of discovering how to integrate the DDlg scene, I too felt I was a bit late to the docks, this forum and fetishes in general.

 

Having had relationships that were for all intensive purposes, a DDlg LITE interaction, my worry was I was not serious enough, informed enough or even dedicated enough to participate. Besides the bewildering sense of community and passion for the lifestyle, I sensed I was quite the outsider and that's OK too. I can learn by observation and being in my 40's I know all too, I'll be just fine without validation.

 

Being new isn't every easy and thanks to all the people who responded to you, Daddy Itzae, I hope you feel a bit better about your prospects.

 

I know I do  :) 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest algernon

There are, unfortunately, sometimes unavoidable missings-out experienced by those who do not deserve them. If nothing else, remember there are a lot of guys in their twenties or even thirties who can't seem find a little who wouldn't rather be with someone a decade or more older. The grass is always greener and all that jazz.

 

Keep your chin up, brother. Many good words have been spoken by others here, and I wouldn't give up yet. In my experience, the best relationships come by surprise in places we aren't looking, just being ourselves.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Greetings.

I fully understand your dilemma, and how you feel.

As has been said, it takes time, and the clock is neverending.

I just turned 51, and my little girl 29. We met a year ago next month, and I couldn't be happier with the way it happened.

Being honest, as you stated you tend to be, is of the utmost importance, for both of you, and by both of you.... always be who you are... then you attract the right one.

I wasn't looking for what I found, I was just looking to meet people of like mind, and as a photographer, went to meet my babygirl.

Yes I hoped to find someone, but didnt look at it that way very much.

Once I did find her, for various reasons, age being on top of that list, I told myself, "just be yourself and know that ain't going to happen wit this one".

By the time I got home after our first actual meeting, she sent me a text that told me how she felt, and blew my socks off... I had no idea anyone her age and background could fall for an old fart like me... but she did.

Not that I'm old, but her being half my age, yes I really am.

 

Normally I wouldn't mention another site, out of respect for the good people here, but considering they ask in the profile, I will say we met through fetlife.

 

Be warned, that "Daddy" sometimes means sugar Daddy more than anything, when it comes to younger females, and to be fair males also... no disrespect to anyone, choice or not.

 

So, don't look at age, or time... just be yourself, and use your wisdom, and honest nature.

Post every chance you get, be part of the community no matter where, and people will notice and see how genuine you are... you seem very genuine here to me as it is.

 

You will eventually find someone compatible and the perfect fit, no matter what either of your age is.

I met 3 other people before meeting her.

One turned out to be somewhat of a stalker, but it took less than 4 months to find my girl.

And Brother, if I can do it looking as much older than my real age as you do younger than yours, you can do it to.

But none of that really matters to most of us when it comes to love and compatability.

She's out there.... looking for you!

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That's my Daddy, a wise man and very truthful.

 

The most proper time you'll find what you're looking for is when you're not actively looking. Just like Daddy said, we met a year ago next month. We were friends and talked by text and email before calling and in person...

 

Now, I've always had a thing for older men. Since I was in 5th grade... I had a 17 year old "boyfriend"... I dabbled with guys my age but they all seemed to be after just sex. I was with a girl... all she did was destroy me and leave me burning.

 

I had met 3 other guys before my Daddy. One, another older gentleman, that wanted sex and nothing but. He was not Daddy material now that I look back... That wasn't him. The other guy was a year or two younger than me... it was the only one night stand I've ever had. After that, when I was sick and not interested in sex, he left my apartment 15 minutes after being there. Now, I'm a military brat. Air Force, Army, Navy... All in my blood and part of my upbringing. I was around older people growing up never anyone my age. 

 

After 2014 and being raped by another male I gave a chance to... I decided I wasn't going to try to be with anyone at all.

 

But from the moment I met Daddy.. that moment last year... I just knew. The first time I took off his boots... Oh, my heart still flutters and I still tremble and get weak in the knees. He just turned 51 and I just turned 29. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. But... it was when I stopped looking for a mate and started looking for professional work to model....

 

That I met him. The One.

Your girl is out there. Don't be shy, don't push it...

 

The moment you stop looking th likelihood of your chances goes up. Way up.

 

Older men are like a good glass of sweet red wine... Age so fine and wonderful as they grow older. My Daddy is drop dead sexy to me. Handsome. He makes me hungry with desire, such strong desire... Things I've never felt before. Your girl is looking for you

 

SO DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!

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