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Little's having children? Or, Child free?


Outlawed
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So I never plan on having biological children. Just thought I would ask the community on your opinions on littles having children of their own. Would the dynamic be the same? How can a little have a caregiver and be one too. Seems to me a lot of work, I know here are some adults who have children and are also littles, or pets, or subs, and I guess it works for some. Also are you gentlemen, and other caregivers content with giving all you love to your lil and not having children of your own. I've read topics of jealousy when caregivers have biological children.  Finally, what do you use for BC to prevent such a thing if your loves you are caring for does not want children?

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I personally would never have biological kids, since I'm not sure I could provide them with all the sincere love and attention kids need. I also don't think I would be able to keep being a little if I became a mom, since even tiny amounts of stress keep me out of little / pet space for days at a time. I don't think there's anything wrong with having kids and being little/dom, though! -^^- It's just not for me, and definitely not for my Daddy. > v < We usually use condoms, but I've already tried the sticky patch and pills; I kept forgetting to use them though. They're also pretty expensive, as the adult newbie that I am recently learned. ;__;

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I am not really well versed on this topic but I can share my personal views.

 

Daddy and I personally do not want children, for reasons beyond sharing love and what not. For us, we are not okay with bringing a life into this world. It just seems morally wrong to us. We are more than happy just having fur babies (one cat and one dog lol) I don't believe in pumping fake hormones into my body so we stick with good ole condoms as birth control, however I do have medical problems making it nearly impossible for me to get pregnant as it is

 

However, I do believe that having children will only change the dynamic long enough for the couple to get used to the new addition. Of course it is going to be challenging, of course it is going to be stressful but its that way regardless of the DDLG dynamic. 

I have seen sooooo many Little Mothers on here who seem very well adjusted and quite happy.

 

I think as far as jealousy, well that is possible in any relationship regardless of DDLG dynamic or not,

It all boils down to communication and love!!!!

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One day I want to grow up and look after babies of my own with Daddy.

But for now I'm Daddy's little girl.  :wub:

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Well, I've been a sperm donor in the past, so according to some people I do have kids. But not really. I've never met those children, and probably won't for years to come. They have their own families, who are good people, and I have no part in those families.

 

I don't really use birth control, and I've never had problems with accidental pregnancy.

I always pee before sex, because if a man has cum since the last time he peed, there might still be some sperm inside of him that will come out in pre-cum. Aside from that, I just don't cum inside my girlfriend. It's not really a problem for me because I don't see orgasm as the most important part of sex. I'd actually like to move on to Kerezza at some point. It's not for everyone, but it works for me.

 

 

I would like to someday have children with a little. I guess in some sense she'd have to become a switch at that point. But there's something that I never really see mentioned here, and that's that a little is (on some level) ideally suited to take care of children because she can relate to them on their level.

 

When I see parents yelling at their children, I feel like I should be siding with the parents, because I'm often older than they are -- but I find myself emotionally on the child's side. The kid's just trying to have fun, and the parent is essentially saying "No fun allowed because I'm tired." And I can totally understand being tired. But I can also totally understand wanting to have fun. So I think that a little would make for a good parent because she'd also understand wanting to have fun.

Edited by sushishui
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I'm a mummy to an 18 month old. When she's around I am me, an adult, who loves and cares for her child like any mother should. When she's not around I can be Peach (little me, yay!). For me it's pretty simple. Sex is for the bedroom, and that's where it stays - she is never exposed to it whether it is DDlg or vanilla - as with any normal family dynamic. Now when it comes to little time without sexual context - she does see me call my partner Daddy, but that's what she calls him, so it's quite common for people to do this actually. I don't dress or talk little when I'm around her, EVER. I just generally don't have the DDlg around her at all. BUT, I find that if I'm playing with her I kind of slip into little space sometimes. Like we colour together and paint, and make towers with mega blocks and play tea parties, but I just always have enough consciousness to still be me, not Peach. I don't find that the DDlg lifestyle affects my parenting at all, and they're totally different to me :)

As a biological parent I just look after my kid, because I love her :)

That's how it works for me anyways :)

Oh - and I NEVER get jealous :)

If you have any more questions feel free to ask!

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest StainedBlack

Good thing I searched. I almost started a topic about this. I've been adamantly child free since I was was a teenager. I've had a vasectomy and tried to make it clear to any potential Littles that I do not like real kids.

 

This is my rant and my view, know that it might be different then yours and that's ok. Statically children ruin relationships, they cause stress and unhappiness, most couples drift apart because the relationship becomes about the children. (Recent study, Norway I think?) They cost an excess of time, energy, and money. I'll post a list I saw someone crunch numbers for.

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/2un8q3/so_i_made_some_calculations_today_about_the_cost/

 

You could travel, you could buy whatever you wan, you're free to move as you wish if you don't give in to social stigma and start breeding. Overpopulation is a huge threat, the earth has four times the number of people it can support, and that number is growing exponentially. Look up the statistics on how many people are living with their parents well into their 20's and early 30's because it's too expensive to live in a world that's so tightly packed.

 

Children ruin outings. Have you ever gone to a nice restaurant and been stuck next to a screaming child. Or had to listen to a snot nosed brat in the store? Now imagine you're the one that has to deal with that. Imagine not being able to go out because of a kid, or forking over 50 bucks to a babysitter because you need a few hours of peace with your spouse you no longer know.

 

I don't know about you. But I would rather see the world, have my pups, and spend my days nerding out with a special someone.

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Guest LavanderRabbit

I do not want kids. Babysitting is fine, but I never want kids. Daddy does and often times I make him upset when the subject comes up. It's not something for me. Especially when I have twins directly on both sides of my family and my genetics are known to skip a generation on both sides. After knowing what it does to one's body and seeing what it turns people into being a mother is something I've never wanted to do.

 

Of course this can be different for others, I just had to grow up as a mother figure to my brother who is only a year and a half younger than me. I've had to deal being motherly for most of my life and I despise it.

 

I'm a little. I've discovered it while getting away from the forced mother figure because I've never been pretty enough to be a child. I've always been assumed older. I've always been assumed the dominant. I've always been assumed the mother, even to my siblings.

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While I am a mother I also can see the side for not having children. And also believe some people just aren't cut out for parenting. That's regardless if the CG/l lifestyle.

 

I love being a mom, life in general can be stressful, children will always add to that. If you can't handle stress appropriately do not have kids. Just don't. Its not fair to them or yourself.

 

Being a mom hasn't changed anything about me being a little. While the above statement mentions that children are expensive and means sacrifice this is only the case for some. I've never lacked in travel, I own a home, car is paid for, we never want for anything and even have a college fund started. My daughter is 5, I stayed home from work until she started school when she was almost 4 and we still managed to do all of these things.

 

No we are not rich, we don't have high paying jobs, he's a chef I work in long term care, so I think it has a lot to do with where you live too. I've never compared costs of living but I'm Canadian if that matters.

 

I don't think children ruin relationships but I think having children before your ready will. My daughter was planned. So use what ever birth control works best for you. Condoms are of course the cheep and easiest way to go. Personally I used the depo shot from age 16-20 then got off of it to get pregnant. Now my Daddy is fixed so no more babies.

 

To each their own though. If having kids isn't for you then don't do it. You have all the power to control that. But if you want babies some day embrase it, don't be afraid because of your relationship dynamic. If your really ready you will adjust just fine.

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Guest buddhagirl

I am not really well versed on this topic but I can share my personal views.

 

Daddy and I personally do not want children, for reasons beyond sharing love and what not. For us, we are not okay with bringing a life into this world. It just seems morally wrong to us. We are more than happy just having fur babies (one cat and one dog lol) I don't believe in pumping fake hormones into my body so we stick with good ole condoms as birth control, however I do have medical problems making it nearly impossible for me to get pregnant as it is

 

However, I do believe that having children will only change the dynamic long enough for the couple to get used to the new addition. Of course it is going to be challenging, of course it is going to be stressful but its that way regardless of the DDLG dynamic. 

I have seen sooooo many Little Mothers on here who seem very well adjusted and quite happy.

 

I think as far as jealousy, well that is possible in any relationship regardless of DDLG dynamic or not,

It all boils down to communication and love!!!!

I understand not wanting to bring children into the world, but something that we can do that's really GOOD for the world is adopt a child that needs a home. I have one biological child, two step-children, and a beautiful, adopted daughter. Adoption is a wonderful option for people that want to have a child but not add to the over-population of our planet.

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Guest buddhagirl

Good thing I searched. I almost started a topic about this. I've been adamantly child free since I was was a teenager. I've had a vasectomy and tried to make it clear to any potential Littles that I do not like real kids.

 

This is my rant and my view, know that it might be different then yours and that's ok. Statically children ruin relationships, they cause stress and unhappiness, most couples drift apart because the relationship becomes about the children. (Recent study, Norway I think?) They cost an excess of time, energy, and money. I'll post a list I saw someone crunch numbers for.

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/2un8q3/so_i_made_some_calculations_today_about_the_cost/

 

You could travel, you could buy whatever you wan, you're free to move as you wish if you don't give in to social stigma and start breeding. Overpopulation is a huge threat, the earth has four times the number of people it can support, and that number is growing exponentially. Look up the statistics on how many people are living with their parents well into their 20's and early 30's because it's too expensive to live in a world that's so tightly packed.

 

Children ruin outings. Have you ever gone to a nice restaurant and been stuck next to a screaming child. Or had to listen to a snot nosed brat in the store? Now imagine you're the one that has to deal with that. Imagine not being able to go out because of a kid, or forking over 50 bucks to a babysitter because you need a few hours of peace with your spouse you no longer know.

 

I don't know about you. But I would rather see the world, have my pups, and spend my days nerding out with a special someone.

I respect your decision to not have children and it sounds like that's right for you. The tricky thing about this discussion (and the one I often have with my kid-free friends) is that you don't really know what it's like to be a parent. I, on the other hand, have the advantage of having been child-free and a parent. And I agree with every single thing you've said. And yet, for me, being a parent is the best thing I have EVER done--and I have traveled all over the world, gone to graduate school, reached the highest level in a very rewarding career, and have the most amazing husband/Daddy I could hope for. But the love and relationship I have with my biological son and adopted daughter is the best thing I've ever done for my personal fulfillment and growth. Yes, they cost a shit-ton of money. Yes, they are stressful and make my relationship with my husband more difficult at times. Yes, I have to plan around them and sacrifice. But for me it has been incredibly rewarding and I know I am a better and happier person because of their presence in my life. So, I don't think we should ever say that being a parent is wrong, nor should we say that not being a parent is sad, lonely or selfish. We all must know what is best for ourselves and follow our personal paths.

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Guest Blossom

I am a little and have a son, currently 16 months old. It has not been difficult for me and Daddy to adapt our lifestyle around our boy. We message each other as Daddy and Blossom rather than talk openly in front of him and can do as we please once  he is in bed or if he is with a babysitter. Daddy controls aspects of my life but my son will never know that Daddy has made these decisions not me. Also, little space can come in handy when playing games or finger painting or going to the park. Sometimes I feel a lot more involved with my son than some of the other mums I see and I cherish the closeness of our relationship. I think having a child in a DDLG relationship can be easy if you and your Daddy set boundaries and I think it helps if you find it easy to switch from little you to big you. I know I wouldn't be without my Daddy or my little boy.

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I've been debating about it when i get into a stable relationship. The problem is though if i end up marrying another girl, I'd have to go to a bank and stuff. It all depends upon my partner's views.

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Guest algernon

...being a parent is the best thing I have EVER done--and I have traveled all over the world, gone to graduate school, reached the highest level in a very rewarding career, and have the most amazing husband/Daddy I could hope for. But the love and relationship I have with my biological son and adopted daughter is the best thing I've ever done for my personal fulfillment and growth. Yes, they cost a shit-ton of money. Yes, they are stressful and make my relationship with my husband more difficult at times. Yes, I have to plan around them and sacrifice. But for me it has been incredibly rewarding and I know I am a better and happier person because of their presence in my life.

There is nothing I ever have or will do, either, that will ever come close to the meaning, value, fulfillment, growth, and joy that comes from that arena of my life. To all the Bigs out there, being a parent is the ultimate caregiver experience as far as I'm concerned. (And for what it's worth, I haven't really felt like I'm giving up much anyway. Any time and effort invested is returned tenfold at least, and sans extraordinary circumstances, the financial opportunity cost really isn't life-changing - at least for myself and those I know, once you're waking up in the middle of the night to something helpless screaming for you, leaving work or school early because someone's bodily fluids are out of control, or saying no thanks to your buddies because that that perfect drop of sunshine needs your time so much more (and that's where you'd rather spend it anyway), living without the newest TV or fanciest car or biggest house just doesn't matter so much.)

 

I can't speak myself of how it is for a little, but I can say the last little I was with who had kids (3, plus 2 more part-time) loved it. She got to be a hybrid caregiver and little while taking care of them and partly living in their world, and when it was our time, little space was a vacation for her. For a caregiver, it's what you love for already, so it may be a greater sacrifice as a little, since you are responsible for the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual welfare of people who, at least at the beginning, will literally die without you, but the greatest sacrifices bring the greatest rewards.

Edited by algernon
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