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Managing little space in Big situations


Guest taryn of arendelle
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Guest taryn of arendelle

lately i've been really really struggling with managing my little self -- all the messy emotions, confusion, missing Papa with him working so much -- which is not helped by the fact that i have bipolar disorder and my meds have been off. but just in general, i find it hard to find the right kind of environment, especially still living with my parents, where i can color and not be all fussy about the exact colors of princess anna's dress JUST because my mom is standing over my shoulder. you know, stuff like that. like i wanna be fussy over the colors because i want it to be perfect and to show it to Papa or something little.

 

and i worry that my inability to deal with it all -- i broke a big rule recently acting out because i was confused and scared -- will push Papa away. :(

 

anyone have any similar stories/concerns or even advice?

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I think you need to establish a safe place.  :3 If you have a room to yourself this is a good start to have. Make your room yours. Test the boundaries in you room.  Is someone going to get mad at you if you hang a magazine clipping upside down?  Or mad at you  for color outside the lines in a picture? Try just scribbling on a piece of paper and wait.  Nothing happens right?  :3
 

Make your room yours, make a blanket fort. Decorate your room a bit, (you can even just do this by moving things around, or showing off things in your room that make you happy.)  If you do a blanket fort you can do this over your bed or on the floor.

 Your room is your space. Also maybe explain to your parents you don’t feel like you have as much space as you like, or you feel like they are going to judge you for not coloring right. It helps.  It helps tactical an anxiety problem right head on. :3  

As for pushing your Daddy away, I think you should talk to him. That’s a common fear, I think. I worry too, and my daddy gives me reassurances when I need it to tell me I’m not going to push him away.  

Telling your partner really helps because they know how you are feeling. 

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I understand how you feel - I'm bipolar as well and it's a bugger when daddy is away. You definitely need to find a space that is just for you, to relax and be yourself. Alone time is good for the soul and you can just focus on colouring, snuggling a stuffie or just being by yourself. 

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Guest taryn of arendelle
I think all of this is great advice and most of it is stuff I'm trying to do. I have such a poor attention span that it's hard for me. But I do have a room in the basement that's mine. I rearranged it so there's room for coloring and stuff. Before there just wasn't enough floor space.
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Whenever I have to be big I push my little side to the corner of my mind and kind of put my big self in charge of my little self. So if my little side creeps up and is all "I really want some apple juice, I'm hungy", my big side can chime in and I'll remind myself that we can have snack time later or whatever.

 

I also do small things if I'm in a big setting, like wearing a hair tie that says princess on it, or make lists of stuff I enjoy when I'm little. It makes average adult life easier for me  ^_^

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I have similar problems sometimes and suffer from pretty severe depression. I also live with my parents but I have my own room and have a little desk set up for coloring and stickers and things. I also do things like Princess does too. I imagine that I am taking care of myself in little space and I can provide a stable nurturing presence for myself that way. I also always wear something happy and little space-y during the day like my hello kitty bracelet or little flower clips in my hair even when I'm doing grown up things which to me is super comforting. I always try to be honest with daddy about when I'm having a hard time and make sure he knows it's not about him. I do worry about pushing him away too though
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  • 2 weeks later...

The main way I deal with having to be big and wanting to be little is that I remind myself throughout the day that when I get home and my bedroom door is shut I can be little. And that even if I can't verbalize my littleness because someone is in the hallway, I can always just text Daddy and be little that way.

If you really don't have a space of your own you could try downloading the app Couple and having him do the same. You can draw pictures on it and the app automatically saves them. So sometimes even if I'm out and about and need to be little for a bit, I'll open it and draw him some flowers. And then when he checks his phone next he can see it and tell me it's awesome. And there are lots of other Dress Up apps and stuff you could download so that way there's no need for floor space! You can just curl up in bed and color coloring pages or dress up princesses.

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  • 3 months later...

I had a plushie or two in the back office where I worked as I found having to deal with very much grown up matters extremely hard without being able to came back to a bit of space my little side felt safe in and complete anything that was necessary.

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Guest Rainbow

like a lot of people have mentioned, yes have your own space! decorate your basement space and make it yours.

 

i also worry that i will push my daddy away too. ask him for the reassurances you need, that's what daddys are for! i find when i get stressed i get all naggy and not acting like a princess should, so just take time to relax. it'll help! meditation is good too

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  • 2 weeks later...

It gets better with time! I struggled with this a lot, but I can switch pretty fast now. Whenever I have some Big stuff to do I would just try thinking about serious subjects, like the Universe, books, university, future job and it helps and gets faster and faster. 

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