The line I walk

[WickedJax]

Often times I wonder, wandering through thoughts, and the thing I ponder most is this: Where is the line between love, and abuse? 

 

When I put my arms around you, when I kiss your neck, feel you melt in my arms, that's love, that's honeyed dreams, perfect moments, that's something special. When I force you to your knees, push you into submission, and when I hear you moan for more, is that too, of love? I do so hope. But then, and when you cry, when you cling to my shirt and wet my shoulder, when I hold you tight and comfort your worries, kiss your tears, when I make it all alright, that too should be of love. Though I remember, it was not some bad day, some outside source that brought you to such woeful rain, it was I. I bent you over, I punished you, I hurt you and you asked for more. It makes me ask myself: Does she submit out of love, or because I have broken her? I fear often that I have, or am becoming an evil, a cancer on your life, that I went too far. Often times this fear restrains me, it holds me back from giving you what you want, it is a buckle on my wrist that slows my hand, slows me so much that far too often you are left wanting. For that I apologize. It had not been an easy thing for me to differentiate, to understand, to come to terms with. 

 

Though I am reminded that there is a balance. Yes, you do remind me. In the way you walk, the way your hips sway with independence, that way your voice lights up, the way your eyes hold beacon to a room of people who couldn't matter less to me. The way you are reminds me that we are no abuser and victim, we know pain only in the bliss of pleasure, and each ounce of it, each little nip of pain is one born of love, and gives birth in turn to a release. Stress, worry, anxiety, the buckling of our heels under the weight of the world, it all fades. When your tears do wet my shoulder I think, and I hope we both feel it melt away because once they have dried you smile, you thank me, you should me all the affection in the world and what's more you assure me. You tell me how much you needed that, how much you're able to let go of, you thank me and I am again reminded that you are mine and I am yours in turn, for all turns. From now till the end I will give you everything you need and you will treat me with adoration, a love most sweetened by our romance. We both need this, I remember, we both want this, I know, we both are ready and our trust define the line that we dance with everyday.

 

It's truly incredible, isn't it?

[littlelili]

T^T how beautiful... and inspiring

And it's amazing, indeed.

[BunBunBubbles]

Thats very beautiful. You really have figured it out. Congrats. You and your partner are very lucky.