DDlg Hate

[Meggles]

Apparently there has been a giant addition of new members to the DDlg community, which I think is amazing and really good for them. I love that there are so many people on this planet that understand my way of thinking. This rise can be noticed over many sites and apps, but I want to talk more specifically about the iFunny app. A place for memes, you'd think by the name, but long ago it became a place for all graphics that would pull a following. I like the idea and personally follow various genres of photos, but lots of users are against the "random garbage in their memes." That issue aside, my biggest complaint is the hate spam on the Littles' and Caregivers' posts. Many, many members of the DDlg community post cute aftercare kits, Daddy/Mommy based memes, stuffies, and pretty outfits. Nothing heinous. And these iFunny users are spamming posts with comments like "INCEST TO THE FIRST DEGREE", "gtfo faggots"..and other variations of the mentioned. It breaks my heart for the Littles especially because they are being actively hated, and I don't think it is good for their minds or self esteem. Unfortunately, I don't think there is much that can be done.. I just wanted to make this a valid topic because I can't stop thinking about how rude and uneducated some people are.

[Dragon Child]

Oh god. I use ifunny too, and ifunny is just full of jerks. Don't even listen to them. If you ever want to follow me though, Lynis is my username

[PinkGlitter]

I see a lot of hate on tumblr, like blogs asking not to follow them if you're a ddlg blog because its "horribly disgusting". 

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

Ifunny is cancer. I don't care if that offends anyone, but really the community is crap, they don't tag artists for credit, they steal content and overall it's full of hateful manchildren and sexually frustrated 13 year olds.

[Dragon Child]

@LavenderRabbit I agree. It's horrid

[Johnny Hammersticks]

[Meggles]

Ifunny is cancer. I don't care if that offends anyone, but really the community is crap, they don't tag artists for credit, they steal content and overall it's full of hateful manchildren and sexually frustrated 13 year olds.

 

Well, true xD you made me giggle.

[Sophie]

I've noticed lots of "anti dd/lg" blogs popping up on Tumblr recently. They're really horrible and judgemental.

[Mathilda-Chan]

I've noticed lots of "anti dd/lg" blogs popping up on Tumblr recently. They're really horrible and judgemental.

I was thinkink at the same things, I find it so sad

[PortlandDaddy]

Why should we care what mean people say about us, anyway?  Having spent most of my life on the frontiers of society, I learned long ago not to care what judgemental people said about me.  Life is too short to worry about mean people, spend time reading mean people's blogs, or... um... writing about... um... mean people.  yeah. 

 

Anyway, sometimes those who are the most violently against something are often deeply interested in it but unable or unwilling to admit it to themselves or to others.

 

We should just be ourselves.

[honeyboy]

Yeah, it's horrible on tumblr. I try to ignore it but people are so fiercely against it that I could never be open about it there (which is why I have a separate account for little stuff) - I think I would probably have to abandon the blog I've had since I was 16 (I'm 22) if my being into DDlb stuff became general knowledge because I would get so much hate.

 

Also so many people say things about how daddies are abusers and littles (who they assume are all girls) are being taken advantage of. I was the one who introduced DDlb to my daddy, I've suffered various forms of abuse, and this is the healthiest relationship I've been in. Being a little is who I am and this relationship dynamic helps heal me from all the stuff in my history, it's not just another example of abuse. It makes me really mad, people make all these statements and then falter as soon as they're called out on it.

[Jessmont]

Indeed there's a lot of ddlg hate on tumblr, a friend of mine showed me and it was awful we were both like, really ?!, everything they say is so wrong because they don't even want to know about this, they just want to judge, ugh.

[WickedJax]

It's pretty clear that all DDlg hate comes from a lack of understanding, however this doesn't mean we should discredit anyone who is anti-DDlg.

 

They make valid points, there are those of us who would claim to lead healthy, DDlg-active life styles, and yet are in fact pedophiles and minors, which is not something we can tolerate. I was once messaged by a thirteen year old girl looking for her Daddy. THIRTEEN. She should have NOT been exposed to our lifestyle at that age! First and foremost, whether you're sexual or not, DDlg IS a BDSM lifestyle, which means sex is weaved into the very nature of what we do. Personally, I think we should condemn the use of public "sfw" (Because nothing that is intrinsically BDSM can be "sfw," because researching it will always lead one to something that's Nsfw) DDlg blogs, pages, sites, ect, because these are the sorts of things people are finding, people like that thirteen year old girl, or that pedophile who is looking for the thirteen year old. I think we should make it out duty to make the only way to enter into knowledge of DDlg is through prior BDSM experience. 

 

I know not everyone here will agree with me, but we are all adults, and we need to understand that our relationships are, at their core, BDSM relationships, and that we should not, and can not expose certain groups to our lifestyle.

[PortlandDaddy]

It's not at all clear that most DDlg hate comes from a lack of understanding.  Some of this hate almost certainly comes from suppressed desire.

 

Sex is not weaved in to the very nature of BDSM or DDlg.  There are many, many examples of nonsexual BDSM and DDlg relationships.

 

Trying to stop people from being curious about sex and learn more about their kinks is a fool's errand.  There should be a way to welcome (and protect!) those that are not yet of legal age so they don't get in trouble -- because they don't have a community that can guide them until they are legally allowed to act out their kinks.  c.v. war on drugs, prohibition, laws against adultery and sexual freedom.  All that is accomplished by denying them is to drive underage people into predator's hands.

[WickedJax]

There is a reason we have a forum referred to "Sex & Health" here, and there is a reason that just about every DDlg and BDSM block I've come into contact with has extremely sexual content. DDlg finds it's history in BDSM, and BDSM's history in sex. Yes, there are nonsexual relationships, as I mentioned in my earlier post, and that is wonderful for the people who partake in them, even if a new comer is shown only nonsexual aspects of DDlg, they will eventually find the more sexually charge aspects of our lifestyle, and when that happens they should be at a mental state where they are prepared for that.

 

Minors are NOT prepared for a DDlg lifestyle, or any sort of BDSM lifestyle at ALL, and we should NOT welcome them, rather we should insist (albeit kindly) that they wait to research and partake until they are have a legal age. DDlg specifically can and will have negative effects on a minors growth as a person, something I've unfortunately seen first hand too many times. The sort of thing does not breed a healthy mindset. 

 

However, out of respect for keeping this forum civil I refuse to fight an uphill battle, and will walk away from this discussion. 

[PortlandDaddy]

This is pretty far off topic, but Big Bad Teddy, please post any research you have to back up your claims of negative effects resulting from learning about DDlg.  As far as I know, there haven't been any studies done.  The only studies that I've found were on the BDSM community, on adults.  That research doesn't support your claims; quite the opposite.

 

More on topic, I wonder if having professional psychological research done (on adults of course) would help de-stigmatize DDlg and reduce hate outside of our community.  Does anyone know a research psychologist out there? 

[WickedJax]

First of all, I said my knowledge from personal experience with minors who were exposed and attempt to have a DDlg lifestyle, not research, however that honestly shouldn't matter because the reason no research has been done on minors is because no researcher is stupid enough to expose minors BDSM lifestyles, particularly DDlg lifestyle. However, I can say that all the littles I've met that began in DDlg have had genuine growth and developmental issues due to it. Out of respect for there privacy I refuse to detail their issues for your own curiosity. Also, I'm done with this debate, I simply can't respect someone who would ever advocate for minors in a DDlg community. 

[PortlandDaddy]

I do not advocate for minors to participate in a DDlg relationship with an adult.  I do not advocate for anyone to break the law.

 

I feel the same way about underage drinking.  You're 20 - I would never buy you a drink or encourage you to drink, because that is against the law.  Given the chance, I would also try to talk you out of drinking at your age because you can make really bad decisions while under the influence, and I don't think anyone would think that I would be wrong to do so.

 

Same with a minor in a DDlg relationship.  I don't have the answer as to what is right.  I merely observed that shutting the door and saying 'no' often has the effect of making something more desirable.  That's all.

[HisTinkerbell]

I see a lot of hate on tumblr, like blogs asking not to follow them if you're a ddlg blog because its "horribly disgusting". 

I think it's fine to ask certain people not to follow you on tumblr. Kink is not for everyone and its perfectly okay if it makes people uncomfortable. I think its important to respect other peoples boundaries. We should all be open to being critical of kink and DDlg and the fact that it CAN affect others negatively. 

[Daddy's Lil]

It's a knee jerk reaction to things they don't know about. If they don't understand it then generally they negatively comment on it. 

[Mathilda-Chan]

I saw this video and it upset me ...

 

 

I found her so mean with people into ddlg ... I don't know ... what do you think about it ? Was she right about them ?

[Meggles]

Her video traumatized me. That said, I think the couple she encountered in the Disney store was going way too far in public. It is not appropriate to introduce the BDSM lifestyle to children. Maybe if they had been much, much quieter about it, even texting or something in a public area while they bought the stuffie, that's fine; because anyone anywhere is allowed to walk into an open store during hours and purchase any item said establishment has available. I do not condone any type of sexual act in public, especially around children.. that includes dialogue, might I add. Though, I DO believe that people have the right to be themselves.. Just be decent, people. I am quite embarrassed at the thought of members of the DDlg community broadcasting a private kink in the mall. This woman was hateful in her video, but that couple gave her a right to be.

 

 

 

** The paci is a whole different issue, but I agree with the lady in the video. That is extremely inappropriate in my opinion. Not using Pacis.. because I use them. Just using them in Public is a huge issue for me. I think letting children see this is wrong and will introduce a lewd lifestyle to children much too early in life and perhaps shape them in a way that isn't typical. Every child deserves a clean childhood, and I will fight that to my last breath.

I saw this video and it upset me ...

 

 

I found her so mean with people into ddlg ... I don't know ... what do you think about it ? Was she right about them ?

Edited June 28, 2016 by Meggles

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

I saw this video and it upset me ...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsEncxb_mjc

 

I found her so mean with people into ddlg ... I don't know ... what do you think about it ? Was she right about them ?

She's right to have an opinion. Personally I find this to be inappropriate for them to behaving as such in a non safe public space with children around. I was told about this video before hand and my stance still stands. The fact she was "traumatized" by such a thing means she needs to get over herself. People are allowed to do as they please, if it was a normal couple she probably wouldn't have said shit. In fact she looks like she would be a fucking little if she wasn't so stuck up. As for the couple, the caregiver shouldn't be so open to acting like that in places like the Disney store. There are kids and adults around and you might even get kicked out if you behave like that. Also constraining the "Daddy" word in public might be a better idea than saying it loud enough for others to hear. It might be a little harsh, but it prevents twats like this from excuses and bitching.

[babygirl12]

I would like to add some things. I have been naturally submissive since 3. as in character. I've had the desires since twelve. I didn't know what it was called until I was 16. And I never acted on it until I was 18. And that was a very bad experience that had me running.

 

I didn't become aware that I was a babygirl or  a middle or had mini-masochistic tendencies until I was 27-29.

 

I know in my younger years that it was who I was. no one introduced it to me. But it just felt normal to me.

 

because i'm in a sexless marriage with someone who hates all bdsm, I have to hide who I am and explore my identity on my own.

 

so I know the issue of underaged submissives and littles and complicated. I just thought I'd add my own experience.

[LoralieHaze]

Yeah, I've seen this video already. (And told LR about it, haha.) Overall, I don't think its that bad because even though she says she's against DDlg in general, she seems more mad at the particular couple rather than the community at large. The vast majority of the comments on the video are people saying they're in the community and we're not all like this, which is very true. The "Daddy, I want this" part was okay to me but the paci, the ass grab, and the "I'll give you something to suck on" was waaay too far for being around children. I don't think any of us on the forum would do that, or at least I hope not.

 

That said, I think she needs to get a real problem if that was traumatizing to her and she should also work on her anger if that was enough to make her want to fight/hurt this couple. It amuses me that she thinks our kink is gross but is an adult women who keeps stuffies on her bed and buys things for herself at the Disney store. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

 

There was another video with a similar theme that I manged to watch about 10 seconds of before determining that the person had zero clue what they were running their mouth about. It made a lot less sense and was a lot less civil than the one we're discussing now. The thing about any hate videos is that the person is just making it to get attention, because they know that people will watch it. We shouldn't watch them because it's only feeding fuel to their troll fire, particularly if it's going to upset us.