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Protecting the Littles.


DaddyPenguin
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I have been a Daddy for a long time and recently had a discussion about something so thought see what some of you want.

I believe that since I am a Daddy that it is my responsibility to help insure all littles are safe. What I mean is whether I have a little or not if I see a little in trouble, or being preyed on or something along those lines I should do what I can to insure the little is safe. I heard from people saying it is not my responsibility and my only responsibility is my little. I don't have a little, but if I have a little of course she is my responsibility and does come first. But if no one helped a little I trouble than it makes community more full of wannabes fake and abusive Daddies. If we have more looking out for the Littles than I think it's a more safe community. If any of that makes sense because feels like I am rambling but would like to know what other caregivers think.

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I would agree, the safety of the littles is very important and we have an obligation to look out for them but only up to a point. Many can take care of themselves so being mindful of that is important. 

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Guest Robin

The littles of this website are all adults, and they don't really need other people to protect them. Some littles can choose said protection, and if they do, they'll ask for it. But it should never be assumed that said protection is needed. Because it's not.

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As a little I can say I don't need every daddies protection. My daddy's yes. Every daddy? Not really. I may ask for help on occasion and some daddies have stuck up for me, for which I'm grateful. But I do not expect it.
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Guest LavanderRabbit
Giving advice and guidance is fine when it comes to a little that isn't yours. But we don't need protection. We are adults. If a little needs help, they can ask for help. But assuming a little NEEDS a daddy is over stepping your bounds as a caregiver. We aren't weak minded nor completely dependent on another human being. We can grow and play and learn on our own. There is a difference between sticking up for a little and overshadowing them like you're their caregiver. Don't cross that line.
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I believe many are getting the wrong ideal of what I said and/or assuming. The word protection is used in a general term. I am no way saying sticking my nose where it does not belong. I do not mean just Littles of this website as I do mean in the lifestyle. I am talking about if I k of an abusive Daddy or I know of a fake Daddy with wrong intentions out there I should speak up. I could use stick up for over protect. Not everyone who needs help will ask but I don't assume they need help either. Never mind seems people are thinking opposite of what I trying to say. I am not talking about being a Daddy to a little who is not my little. I am talking about making ddlg lifestyle a safer community. Sorry
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I agree with the above statements, littles are adults. We don't need protection. Sure some may fall victim to fakes and users but then they learn from that experience. As adults we know what is right from what is wrong and how easy it is to kick someone out of our space if they do something we don't like.

 

Littles may seem sweet and fragile but really we are strong. And we need to make mistakes too. Everyone does.

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Well sorry I made this topic as what I said did not come out as intended.. Sorry for offending as by no means did I.
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Guest Robin

I believe many are getting the wrong ideal of what I said and/or assuming. The word protection is used in a general term. I am no way saying sticking my nose where it does not belong. I do not mean just Littles of this website as I do mean in the lifestyle. I am talking about if I k of an abusive Daddy or I know of a fake Daddy with wrong intentions out there I should speak up. I could use stick up for over protect. Not everyone who needs help will ask but I don't assume they need help either. Never mind seems people are thinking opposite of what I trying to say. I am not talking about being a Daddy to a little who is not my little. I am talking about making ddlg lifestyle a safer community. Sorry

Everyone should help out making the community a safer place as a whole, by reporting things that don't belong here to a moderator. But that's not about protecting littles. That's about protecting users. Littles, caregivers and everything in-between stand to gain from user reports, as bad apples come in all flavors.

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I personally am not offended. There is nothing wrong with seeking an opinion on something. If you ask you will receive many different views and opinions and that's what the forum is for. I believe we are all just stating our opinion, just most happen to differ from yours. Some may agree.

 

With any community,bdsm or vanilla, online or in person, there are fakes and predators everywhere. Could be the cute guy from Starbucks who finally gets your number because he seems so sweet ... Ya he's got 5 other people he hooks up with and they all think hes real sweet too. And that really cute sweet little that always seems so happy to chat with you because her life sucks and your the best thing she's got? Shes sitting there laughing and digging her way into your heart and waiting for the perfect time to tell her sob story about why she needs money for something.

 

My point is everyone is going to experience some sort of user or fake or predator in their life and at some point will have to make the call on their own. That helps us grow. As people, not just littles or caregivers. Just people.

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HAi. Im going to speak up here a lil bit. Im an adult and i am a lil. When i am lil and sometimes as an adult i do not realize until its too late if someone is taking advantage of me. It's been hard lessons ive learned. I have to say that i appreciate others no matter if they are lil middle anipals or bigs that keep an eye out for me. They are my friends and tgat is what counts. Sometimes I needs help but not in a daddy way. Does this make sense?
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Guest AmberDoll

HAi. Im going to speak up here a lil bit. Im an adult and i am a lil. When i am lil and sometimes as an adult i do not realize until its too late if someone is taking advantage of me. It's been hard lessons ive learned. I have to say that i appreciate others no matter if they are lil middle anipals or bigs that keep an eye out for me. They are my friends and tgat is what counts. Sometimes I needs help but not in a daddy way. Does this make sense?

 

I agree with Kissingkitten when I am in little space I tend to not think as logically as I should I appreciate anyone who looks out for anyone in this site we are suppose to feel like we can be little and share our little stuff and be able to be open about things and yes I know we are all adults but nobody is perfect and a lot of people when they are in little space they mentally aren't in the mindset to always be 100% to switch right back to serious and safety hence why having Daddys during that time is so nice cause we can be protected, we are adults yes but not all of us are always on our top game in the safety department. especially new littles who don't know the dangers of imposter daddys yet, and I tend to get triggered into little space by other littles on here so even when i'm trying to be logical about things my mind just goes into little space. the point of this huge blah fest is anyone looking out for anyone is great and any daddy willing to guide littles when they are in little space that isn't a imposter daddy is a blessing for any DDLG community.  ^_^  *glitter*  *glitter*  *glitter*  *glitter*  :heart:

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I look at it simply... here, there, onine or off... if I'd help any fellow human, then I will.

Otherwise, and even then, I'll ask if they need or would like my help if it's not an emergency situation.

And always report if it's justified, and only if its justified.

My 2 cents, spend it wisely.

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  • 3 months later...

I agree, it's our duty as members of the human race to look out for others to make the world we live in a BETTER place to live in. One of my favorite quotes sums it up nicely. It's from Edmund Burke. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Evil comes in all shapes and sizes, ages and colors and forms. From white collar money scams worth millions to a little being preyed upon be an unscrupulous Big/Caregiver. I know when I am in my space I have a hard time looking past the "silver lining" to see the storm clouds.

 

Stand up, voice the "evils/dangers" to the littles and you are a better person than those who say or do nothing because "it's not their little".

 

As a little, I will speak out about any thing I see that's wrong and others will get hurt or taken advantage of from.

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I think I understand the point of the topic. I don't think the poster is insinuating the idea that every Daddy is somehow a Dom over any little, nor that littles in particular are weak or in need of protection. But If I weren't around, and my little was in trouble, of course i'd want someone to help her; it wouldn't have to be a Daddy, though. Daddies are by nature protective, aware, and caring, so those characteristics don't relate only to my little, they relate to the world at large. Everywhere I go, i'd like to think i can be as helpful as possible to everyone around me; all ages, any gender, and especially in an emergency.

 

Just as being a little is something that is always psychologically present within a little's heart and mind, so is being a Daddy. What sets apart those nurturing, encouraging, protective feelings for my little as opposed to others is that they also come from a place of romantic love. But i'd like to consider myself a protective person regardless of the situation or the person, and of course, with the knowledge that there isn't already someone more appropriate around to do it.

 

I think this was the spirit in which the original poster was writing. Maybe? 

Edited by ZenDD
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Ideally "littles" and other groups of people likely to be preyed upon shouldn't need any extra protecting, but the truth of the matter is that we do. It's an unfortunate reality. I agree with OP that we should look out for littles, but propose that we stretch that even farther! We as a community should ALL look out for each other and reject any ideals that infringe upon the rights of others, like bullying, etc. in a respectful way that educates our members.

Edited by stargirl
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Personnally, If I'm in a bad position or havin a problem, I'd be happy to have someone stepping up to protect me or to help me. Maybe as an individual it can be a good thing to protect/help people in needs, on a specific time. I do not see any problem there. If it happens to be a Little, no problem either. 

 

HAvin someone who can help me does not make me week (or anyone else); I think it is wise to accept and seek for help when someone can help you.  

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Ultimately, the big that needs to take responsibility for a little is their own big person. I know that's hard sometimes, and there's certainly nothing wrong with lending a hand or helpful ear of course. In my younger days I thought I could help/fix everyone, but you just can't.

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I think the notion that littles can't look after themselves if they don't have a daddy is quite... Absurd. 

 

I understand wanting to protect somebody that's being used/preyed on/etc. but surely protection from these things isn't exclusive to littles? I should hope most everyone would do what they could to protect others from this behaviour. 

 

Littles are adults (hopefully...), we may be little but for a lot of us it is not our main identity and it does not define us. We can look after ourselves, we just seek the comfort and guidance of a caregiver. We are not helpless, or in need of being looked after by every daddy to lay eyes on us - we can look after ourselves, the notion is sweet but it's also patronising. 

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It's our duty to always be on the watch for predators And sketchy people simply because these creeps make us look like creeps. I encourage anyone at anytime to voice their concerns. You don't have to protect them but we should give them the truth (good bad or ugly) and let them do what they will with it.

 

Unfortunately coming from another Dom - it probably comes off more authoritative because it's coming from the mouth of the patriarchs (or matriarch) figures. That might ruffle some feathers - littles can take care themselves in that sense and if they need help they know will get it.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Although I'm an adult I've been hurt by bad daddies because when I'm in little space I don't really think cautiously, to me everyone is super nice and we all want the same thing, I'm all for people speaking up about bad daddies so people don't get hurt. It's those daddies that give our community a bad name I believe...
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I personally have no problem with anyone stepping up for me and telling a person to back off. When I'm in little space I'm more naive and trusting. I also tend to be more fearful of angering others. There used to be one daddy in chat that kept littles safe, he stepped up on many occasions when I could not verbally defend myself. I have so much respect for him in that regard.

 

I have even stepped up for a couple of littles myself when I saw them being harassed. Coincidentally, the littles I protected assumed I was a daddy, but that does show that others appreciate the help as well.

 

My suggestion is don't go all willy nilly with it. It is blantly clear that not every little needs or wants it. And some daddies don't care for it either. It's whom ever is facing the problems right to accept or refuse help and deal with a problem on their own. If a little tells you not to defend him/her try to be offended by their rebuttal.

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I know littles can take care of themselves but I tend to get overwhelmed easily especially in little space

so when someone offers to protects or help me I love it! Mind you the key word there is offer.

Just stepping in and taking over might give of the wrong impression even when you're trying to do good.  

Also I think we all have a responsibility as a community to help inform and educated  "bad" or "fake" Daddies.

I've found though that since I'm a little sub my opinions tend not to be respected by "bad" or "fake" daddies.

In those circumstance then I feel  Bigs would suit the situation better. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have been a Daddy for a long time and recently had a discussion about something so thought see what some of you want.

I believe that since I am a Daddy that it is my responsibility to help insure all littles are safe. What I mean is whether I have a little or not if I see a little in trouble, or being preyed on or something along those lines I should do what I can to insure the little is safe. I heard from people saying it is not my responsibility and my only responsibility is my little. I don't have a little, but if I have a little of course she is my responsibility and does come first. But if no one helped a little I trouble than it makes community more full of wannabes fake and abusive Daddies. If we have more looking out for the Littles than I think it's a more safe community. If any of that makes sense because feels like I am rambling but would like to know what other caregivers think.

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