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Guest Sweetkittenbj

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Guest Sweetkittenbj

I had something happen over the last week that's left me really confused & a bit depressed. Daddy & I were in a LDR, and lately, a lot of assumptions were being made on his part regarding my not following his rules. This resulted in more punishments for me. The first couple of times it happened, I shrugged it off, but last week it happened every single day.

 

I stepped out of my Middle role, told him I was stepping out of my role, & complained, pointing out that his assumptions were wrong. I told him I wanted us to talk about this as I felt the relationship had become one sided, & I was being punished purely because he got something out of punishing me.

 

That was the last conversation we had. I have reached out to him a couple times this week & nothing. No "I'm busy" or "we'll talk about this later." I feel like I'm being ghosted, that our relationship is over, but I don't know why.

 

Has anyone else had this or something similar happen to them?

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I haven't had it happen, but a friend has told me about it! Pretty much the same scenario, lots of punishments into the days leading up and then after that nothing. It does seem strange to me, and I just want to apologize this less then pleasurable 

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I haven't had it happen, but a friend has told me about it! Pretty much the same scenario, lots of punishments into the days leading up and then after that nothing. It does seem strange to me, and I just want to apologize this less then pleasurable experience

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You were right to speak out and stand up for yourself. From his reaction it seems he doesn't respect your needs or you. I suggest you to move on, he's not good for you. You didn't do anything wrong.
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You did everything that you should do in this situation. As much as you can, try to remember that you did nothing wrong here and your response was very mature and reasonable.

 

Ghosting is the sign of someone who isn't able or willing to commit themselves to a relationship in its entirety. They stay for the honeymoon phase and disappear when it suits them - usually when they are asked to actually care about the other person instead of their own needs. Once you're able to get a bit of distance from the event you may be able to look back at the time you had together and evaluate - see if there were any red flags or signs of being less than committed. Putting themselves first or pushy. They aren't always there - some people are very good at being entirely interested up until the very moment that they aren't and then technology then just enables them to disappear from your life. Perhaps you'll find a few flags though that can help you move forward in the future.

 

A bit of an aside - I was watching the Netflix doco 'Hot Girls Wanted' (tv series) last night, had an episode entirely about a 40yr old guy living in Vegas who spends his entire life dating and ghosting girls. Seeing the way he justifies his behavior to himself is appalling, but I imagine a lot of people are much the same - the digital world is too easy to keep separate from your real life and so these people don't necessarily ever have to justify to anyone - even themselves - what they are doing because "It's just what happens on the internet". Some of the statistics that the episode offers is that 1 in 5 people online will admit to being ghosted whilst dating, however as many as 1 in 3 admit to doing it themselves. How they came upon these numbers I've no idea but I believe it. It's just too easy with zero repercussions.

 

I'm so sorry you've had to experience this. I hope that you can find a way to recognize you are the stronger of the two of you and ultimately can move on to find someone who appreciates your commitment and openness.

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I'm so sorry that happened to you but it probably will be best if you move on.

I know that the insecurities can hang around and bother you even 10 years after it happened but there's not much use dwelling on it.

 

I once met someone and we found out we'd both been ghosted by the same person. People who do this, repeat the behaviour and while there might be something that "sets them off" it shows a flaw in their character that they choose to act like this. It's the easy route. It's selfish.

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Guest Sweetkittenbj
Thanks all. I've spent the last week wondering what I did wrong, & your responses helped me realize I didn't do anything wrong, he's just a jerk.
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