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Feeling sad lately


Sleepless
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We met online and he treated me like I was the most special and only princess in the whole world and I loved it. He babied me and he was the best daddy to me...

 

but then we had our rough patch. Two months before I was supposed to move in with him he left me for another girl. He caused a lot of hurt in those two months, but ultimitly came back asking for me again after about a month and a half. I agreed to be just friends for awhile. I ended up moving to a town about 45 minutes from him (for college) and we met in person for the first time on the day I moved in. When we met in person I knew I was still in love with him so I asked him to be my boyfriend. He said yes of course and was ecstatic. We quickly fell back into our old lovey dovey habits where he treated me like his babygirl.

 

When we first got back together we would cry and talk about what he did a lot. In order to move on we had to get all of outback feelings about what had happened out so we could work through it. During one of these cry/talk sessions he let it slip that maybe part of why he left me had to do with our DDLG reltationship going too far, that it had consumed our relationship and although our relationship wasn't even sexual it made it feel like it was based off of a sexual thing too much. I explained that I could stop the DDLG stuff if it would make him feel more comfortable, that I really would be fine. As long as he kept treating me like I'm a princess I'd be more than happy. He decided he still liked the DDLG stuff now that he knew our whole relationship isn't based off a sexual thing (whatever that means), but I still decided to tone it down.

 

Well a lot of time has passed since all of that drama happened, trust has been rebuilt and our relationship feels very strong once again. I know I should be grateful it all worked out...

 

but I want things to change. Our relationship has shifted from loveydovey to something else. He doesn't baby me at all, treat me like I'm fragile or cute or special. He doesn't call me pet names anymore either really, even though I all but beg him to. He always just wants to play rough now, he's no longer gentle at all and it makes me feel less special. He picks on me way to much and teases me a lot, not in an abusive way but more like the way a sibling would. I know it's normals for relationships to get like this over time, but I'm not okay with the soft side of our relationship disappearing completely like it has. I need to be babied and treated like a princess, and I have communicated this with him but it's not getting through to him. He's been very inconsiderate of my feelings lately in regards to this, but I just don't know what to do to get him to see where I'm coming from.

 

Advice would be very much appreciated, I'm willing to explain things in more detail ignoring it's needed to give better advice so don't be afraid to ask about anything. Please don't tell me to leave him, that's not an option I'm willing to consider. Sorry for any typos I didn't really proof read this very well.

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honestly i'm not sure what other type of advice you'd want other than talk to him. tell him how you don't appreciate how rough he's gotten and especially mention how the teasing bothers you. since he really isn't considerate to your feelings straight up confront him about that, see what's on his mind too.

 

i don't know him (obv) but to me he doesn't seem like that nice of a guy due to what he's done and what he's doing now so it could just be how he is and it'll be something you'd ultimately will have to decided if you want to deal with that or see what else could be done between you two to see if he could change how he is.

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First off sending big hugs to you. I am sorry you are going through this.

 

Okay I am gonna be honest here. I don't like this guy. First he leaves you for someone else and then he switches gears on you and acts completely different. It sounds like he doesn't treat you very nice and that worries me. Because it always gets worse.

 

I agree with baby cakes. All we can really do is tell you to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Stand up for your self a bit. No man has a right to treat you less than you are. He should consider your feelings sweetie.  Its NOT all about him. And if you don't want him to be rough than he well and better stop it.

 

I know you don't want to hear us say leave him. So I won't but if he continues down this path and you are not happy please, please, please understand you are worth so much more than what this man is giving you. And there are better daddies out there that will treat you like you deserve to be treated. Never settle for less hon. But he does not sound like a Daddy to me. :(

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Angel-4k7, thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. He is a very nice guy, its hard for me to accurately depict our relationship through this so all you're seeing is a few small snapshots of our relationship. Of course he wont seem like that nice of a guy because I'm coming here to complain a little so you're only seeing the bad stuff, you know what I mean? but he genuinely is a good man with a kind heart. I know our past makes people automatically deice he's not worthy of my time, but there are so many factors surrounding that (too many to explain them all here) that people just don't know. What's important is that he has worked very hard to regain my forgiveness, and I have given it to him so that is a thing of the past.

 

Littlepinklotus, thank you for being so very kind. If you'll read my reply to Angel-4k7 it will help you understand my situation better. Thank you for your advice though.  :heart:

 

~*ThePrincessQueenSaiya*~, the reason I say leaving him is not an option is because I love him. He is an amazing man who always makes sure I get everything I want and need in life. He only becomes inconsiderate every so often and I believe it has to do with how he was raised. He is working on changing the fact that he goes through inconsiderate phases, but it does take time. He also doesn't act the way he acts to be mean or to upset me, he's just trying to play rough and goof around. He told me he always sees other relationships where the couple picks on each other constantly and he saw that as a sign of closeness so he was just trying to be like that. I'm still trying to get him to understand that sometimes he does it too much for me and that's more so what I was asking for help with. I'm not always the best at communicating my thoughts and feelings clearly with him. We are both young, new to the world of dating, and still learning. So of course mistakes are expected to happen, but I wont leave him over that. We love each other so we choose to work through our problems, we aren't willing to give up on each other over the little things. I know my original post is missing a ton of details and probably some important information, but like I said I am not the best at communicating completely clearly and it was also 3am when I posted it so I was sleepy. I apologize for that, but that's why I said to feel free to ask any questions that would help you understand the situation better. With all that said, thank you for your advice, I'll have to try it out.

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What I read about your daddy, is he's always change. You need to adapt if want to stick with him (maybe he'll become your daddy again someday).

 

in this case, you need to sacrifice on DDLG stuff or Him. So you need to consider what's important for you, Sweet Cheeks. if you need a daddy, then you need a new daddy, there's alot of daddies in the world, you could find a better one. But a lover, it's only one of a kind irreplaceable.

 

I think you have the answer, you need to adapt

 

Best wishes for you, Sweet Cheeks

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Guest Dominik

Sorry to hear that. If I were you I would try the following things:

 

1) Talk to him. If your talked to him already, try a second time. And when you talk to him, do it friendly but direct. We men sometimes do not get things when they are told too indirect. So talk to him, but don't accuse him. Tell about you, your feelings, your wishes and your needs - and of course don#t forget to tell him that you love him.

 

2) If this not works: do you have common friends? Friends who are also trusted by you and by your friend? If yes: ask him/her for help. Maybe they can talk to him without letting him know that they talked before already with you.

 

3) If this does not work - then I just can quote "Caring_Dad": "you need to sacrifice on DDLG stuff or Him. So you need to consider what's important for you, Sweet Cheeks. if you need a daddy, then you need a new daddy"

 

In conclusion: as long as possible try to repair (even when it's not easy).

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