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Hmm. The first thing you should do is educate yourself and find out more about it. Then, ask questions. Also, remember that there's a whole spectrum of caregivers. There's no set standard. Generally, though, they tend to share certain characteristics. Finding out what kind of caregiver you think would be good for you is a good idea.


I've heard of people doing little "trials" with it. Like, someone curious about being a little allowing a willing caregiver to show them how things work, in distance format, for a certain amount of time, but neither having any real attachment to each other. I don't know about that, though... seems like it could easily get messy.


Anyway, welcome! I hope you learn lots

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Which position do you think you'd fit into more comfortably? The dominant or the submissive?


My advise is that... It doesn't hurt to fantasize a little. Fantasize on your own or with a partner of you're comfortable doing so and then read more about the lifestyle. Does what you enjoy overlap with what you read? And it doesn't have to completely, for you to be a part of the community. Everyone has their own approach. The scope DDlg can be quite broad, so don't get caught up in the label and whether or not "you belong." If you think you might fit in here, you probably will.

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Well, I know bits and pieces. And I figured coming here to learn from people's personal experiences would be better than some random website with uneducated standards. Kinda came to see everyone's different approach and possibly make friends who can guide me through it? I just feel I can learn better that way.


What I do know, is that I don't like being dominant at all. Responsibility scares me and based of my personality, I can be very aggressive if you will? And I don't think that's a good trait for a dominant to have. But I'm also not just gonna follow your every word blindly. So I'm honestly confused.

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Ola! I'm Antoinette, nice to meet ya.


I'd suggest taking a BDSM test, it can be a nice little indication as to what you're currently into - don't be put off by it either, or limit yourself because of it, lord knows my BDSM test results change weekly. You can take the test here: http://bdsmtest.org/


Okay. So you've got your test results. What next? 


Feel around a little. Do a little research into the things that interest you the most - have a feel around this website; also perhaps those cutesy Instagram and Tumblr DDlg accounts. While they're not exactly the best examples for healthy relationships (most of the time the girls are underage... Not cool), you could always see if you like the aesthetic. That's what drew me in anyway, the pretty pastel pinks and whatnot.


Figure out what you are into and what you aren't into. For example: 


am into the whole stuffies thing

am into rules/punishments


am not into pacis

am not into diapers. 


Also keep in mind that these things are flexible, your interests can change and despite what you are or aren't into it doesn't make you any less 'little'. 


Find out what you're on the fence about too. So for example, for me: 


might be into colouring. 

might be into role playing a young child.


Also don't be afraid to explore different parts of this alone. You don't need a daddy to explore DDlg, in fact if you're trying to figure out if you're actually into this or not it's best to keep the daddies away from you (might be hard though, swat 'em away girl), as to not... Sour your experience. Ya dig? 


Hope I helped slightly.

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