Coming out to friends?

[Guest babygirlally]

I have been with my bestfriend for a little over a year now and have never told him about my little side. I have been worried about how he would react to it. Parts of him seem like they would like it but other part don't. I don't know how to bring it up to him or really how to describe it to him. If anyone has any advice on how to come out to him that would be wonderful!

 

Edit: We are in a long distance friendship and want to move in together next summer, I don't want to do that and him reject me after it's been done. So, I feel like it needs to be done before then.

Edited August 9, 2017 by babygirlally

[Waffles]

Well, the biggest things in a relationship *to me* are communication and trust. If you don't have both of those, then why be in the relationship?

 

You've been with him for a little over a year, so I would believe there would be a level of trust there where you could come out to him and tell him about your little side. The communication part is where you both talk about the topic. If you come out to him about this, you must do it in a mature way; don't be shy, be confident and tell him how you really feel. However, you can't control how he is going to react and whatever he says, you may discuss, but in the end you both need to respect how each other feels.

 

I would say the best way to go about it would be to go out and get coffee or stay in and eat ice-cream and bring it up. Tell him there is something you have been thinking about and you would love to talk to him about it. Reassure him it's nothing bad, just something you need to get off your chest.

 

Just be honest, that's the best thing you can do for him and yourself. You need to prepare yourself for the best AND worst outcome. You never know how someone is going to react, that's why I say this.

 

I do hope I was of some help and I hope that you and your boyfriend end up in a ddlg relationship!

 

With Much Love, Ash. 

[Antoinette]

If you've kept a relationship going for a year I should hope that communication is a big part of it. 

 

I know how scary it is to describe this part of yourself to your partner when your partner may not understand, or is vanilla (or seems to be vanilla). I've been there. And actually I got outed as a little to my boyfriend by my little brother (yeeepppp, awkward) - you know what he said? "I don't care, I love you. If you want me to try this with you, I will. I love you exactly how you are," and that's the response that most people should give. What does being a little do that changes you? Nothing. You're still you, you're still the person that he fell in love with - don't worry, being a little won't change that. 

 

Another thing to consider is to explain what being a little is to you, and explain what DDlg is to you. As there are so many different ways to experience little space and experience the dynamic it's important that you make sure he understands your way, as to not create any confusion. You may not like pacis, so if he googles 'DDlg' and finds pacis and diapers (so more ABDL stuff) he may get the wrong idea as to what you're into, so make it clear to him what it is.

 

And on a final note, you have to prepare for the reality that he may not be into it. And that's okay! If he's not into it that's just his personal preference and you can't do much about that, just make it clear to him that just like you won't force him to be a DD, he can't force you not to be a LG. On the other hand he could also really be into it! The only way you'll find out is by talking to him about it though - good luck!

Edited August 8, 2017 by Antoinette

[cuppycakes]

Some pretty solid advice here! I had to "come out of the toy box" to my partner of several years, and I wish I had done it sooner.

 

Another thing to consider is to explain what being a little is to you, and explain what DDlg is to you. As there are so many different ways to experience little space and experience the dynamic it's important that you make sure he understands your way, as to not create any confusion.

This is very important. I wouldn't advise him to look at ddlg on his own time, but instead give him more of a run-down of what it is to you. Mention if it's sexual or not for you, mention if you would like rules/punishments, etc.

 

When I told my partner, I was so nervous it took me probably 20 minutes just to get a word out (he was so patient with me). I first told him that I had done extensive research on the topic, and then started with the basics from a broad perspective. I gradually narrowed it down to what it meant to me personally.

 

Example:

"Some littles have what's called a littlespace. It's not necessarily a physical space, but a head space. A space of mind where they can feel little and childish. They also have a bigspace, where they can do more grown up things. I don't really have this, necessarily. I feel like my littlespace and bigspace is mushed together. I like little things and big things at the same time. I don't have a certain space that I go into for one or the other, but sometimes I can feel more little or big. It just depends on my mood, I guess. etc..." 

 

Conversations can be hard, but everyone has to do them. I believe in you, and wish you the best!

 

(Really, I was going to say more, but I think @Antoinette covered it nicely.)

[ronja]

i've known for quite some time i was into ddlg
after half a year of dating my boyfriend i sent him some ddlg photos from pin (i know! it's not the best way but i couldn't keep it a secret)

 

He was really interested and we made great steps with info from this site and other things we saw